Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Re: What Porn did to a Marriage - Interesting Read...
Quote:
Originally Posted by IanIronwood
I'm not arguing that, except to say that we have largely been conditioned by women in this manner. They've torn down our own sense of self-worth and derided our attempts at self-definition for so long that artificial achievement with porn or games seems like a better deal than the frustrating and only occasionally rewarding maelstorm that is a relationship with a woman.
I admit it. We have performance anxiety and abandonment issues and fear of judgement, as a culture of men. We don't know how to make ourselves heard anymore, because we've been told for so long that it just wasn't okay to be a man and anything we say is subject to criticism and dismissal. We stopped paying attention to the social game playing about 1995, and we never really got back into it.
Y'all have made it tough. And guys are voting with their feet. Four of nine close male friends have found brides overseas. These aren't losers, these are decent guys with good jobs and who own their own homes. But they just don't want to have to endure the whipsaw relationship discussions and utterly confusing, contradictory behavior of American women anymore, so they found women from other cultures who could care less about whether or not they communicate and share their feelings -- they appreciate the fact that they're being provided security and decent treatment. In other words, they're treating the men in their lives as heroic providers, not tedious, contrary bores.
That's not the bad news, though. The bad news is that four of the other dudes have pretty much decided to remain bachelors indefinitely. Only one in the group (besides me) has found an American girl to marry. Meanwhile, same circle of friends, seven unmarried, undated decent women, many of whom are starting to regret their early dismissal of the dudes in the group as they approach middle age. "Regret" as in resort to Craig's List.
So I guess that's what it comes down to. We're communicating that our feelings are hurt, you don't make us feel good about ourselves, and we're just not that interested in playing anymore. Not until there's more in it for us. We don't just want the sex, we want the respect and the admiration and the approval. But for us that's reflected in the sex, so there you go.
You keep mentioning this "we" as if you speak for the whole gender.
Did I miss the meeting where we gave you this privilege?
Re: What Porn did to a Marriage - Interesting Read...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brennan
Because we are too busy trying to steal men's sexuality. Meeting, schmeeting, we have more important things to do, like continue to repress men.
I don't know about you but I'm busy building a female bot that seems like she's amazing and life like but then, quickly pulls out a hatchet and hacks away at the penis when you least expect it.
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Re: What Porn did to a Marriage - Interesting Read...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trenton
I don't know about you but I'm busy building a female bot that seems like she's amazing and life like but then, quickly pulls out a hatchet and hacks away at the penis when you least expect it.
Re: What Porn did to a Marriage - Interesting Read...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brennan
What's been taken away from you? Don't men still have a total sense of entitlement? Look at those who came here and said "Yeah, I'm going to do it no matter what". Nothing has been taken away from you.
Well, to be honest, I never said I feel entitled to do it. Not even implied or something akin. All I am against is people just saying that porn is undeniably bad. That is all.
If my girl really told me she didn't want me to look at porn, I would have a discussion with her. For me it would be the same as her saying she doesn't like me drawing/painting (just saying, draw mostly women), gaming or having debates because they make her feel insecure (drawing), promote violence (gaming) or make her feel stupid (debating). If there was no other way, I'd stop it, but if a compromise can be reached, I'll take that.
Ian has touched on some of this, but has said some stuff I don't agree with as well.
Mostly on the women took stuff away from us guys and such. I think it's more as if women stopped settling for less and men thought... meh... why bother if I don't get any.
Re: What Porn did to a Marriage - Interesting Read...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trenton
I don't know about you but I'm busy building a female bot that seems like she's amazing and life like but then, quickly pulls out a hatchet and hacks away at the penis when you least expect it.
Re: What Porn did to a Marriage - Interesting Read... 
Meeting, schmeeting, we have more important things to do, like continue to repress men.
Look at those who came here and said "Yeah, I'm going to do it no matter what". Nothing has been taken away from you.
