Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Judging by your post "only 4 -5 times a year" you seem dissatisfied with what she does give. Let's see, that about once every 3 months, that more than many men get. If she has jaw pain and does it anyway, do you think that you could feel a little grateful that she gives you an orgasm with no expectation of getting one herself and having jaw pain afterwards to boot. Saying it's an excuse does not seem to have a place in a loving relationship..
Maybe a little commiseration, have a nice warm hot towel for her and wrap her have lovingly and hold her instead of pouting and grumbling like a small child. If you did that held her and kissed her like you were just a little appreciative she may surprise you by a change in her attitude. Of course if you think she owes you more bj i can see why you would be sour. But since your attitude gets you nowhere, why not change up. Do you say it's an excuse because you want your pleasure and can not face the notion that she may have to hurt to give to you? Have you any proof she is faking?
Why not assume she does get jaw pain unless you are absolutely sure she does not. Better than calling her a the woman that you want to maintain a loving relationship with a lier. Kills the mood in so intimate encounter. I think if I said my jaw hurt and my partner got an attitude, I would feel that they cared more for the pleasure they got from my mouth and not so much about me. I would feel used. You can counter this by the warm towel act as if you care. Better yet, get a dildo about your size and give it a bj so that you see what it is like. Maybe you will be more sympathetic.
Why does she have to say that? I think her attitude matches yours - she is an ungraceful giver to an ungraceful receiver. So now you understand each other. A change in your attitude may help her to give to you more and more enthusiastically. The worse thing is to give to someone who shows a sense of entitlement and dissatisfaction. Posted via Mobile Device
Why does she have to say that? I think her attitude matches yours - she is an ungraceful giver to an ungraceful receiver. So now you understand each other. A change in your attitude may help her to give to you more and more enthusiastically. The worse thing is to give to someone who shows a sense of entitlement and dissatisfaction. Posted via Mobile Device
Wish I had not read this too late. please say no more about the ejaculating in her mouth for revenge. It ugly and common, of course there is the usual comic chorus egging you on. Don't do it examine your thought while you are at it. What are you thinking - no matter how you feel to use you cum in her mouth say a lot about what you think of her, about cumming in her mouth and the whole act of the bj. Is your cum a weapon then, spraying it in her mouth will show her what, that you are in control, that you degrade her with your junk, that you don't respect her.
How in the would do you get any pleasure out of a bj with your hostile feelings towards your partner. I want to understand. If she knew that you were so angry that you regarded her as a mouth disconnected from a person with feelings what do you think she would feel. I can't see how you can otherwise accept a bj from her if you dislike her so much. It it that separation thing men do when it comes to sex? Maybe women are right to stop the bj in an unsatisfactory relationship if it just means the usefulness of the mouth of a per you don't like. Posted via Mobile Device
Did you read what I sad about the warm towel? What do you think give him some suggestion to help don't whip things up and then not give him a possible solution. No mater what her attitude is he has control of what her does and he can change the way he frames the bj and have a more enjoyable experience not an angry grudging experience. I still can't figure out how any one can get any pleasure out of it. Posted via Mobile Device
Wish I had not read this too late. please say no more about the ejaculating in her mouth for revenge. It ugly and common, of course there is the usual comic chorus egging you on. Don't do it examine your thought while you are at it. What are you thinking - no matter how you feel to use you cum in her mouth say a lot about what you think of her, about cumming in her mouth and the whole act of the bj. Is your cum a weapon then, spraying it in her mouth will show her what, that you are in control, that you degrade her with your junk, that you don't respect her.
How in the would do you get any pleasure out of a bj with your hostile feelings towards your partner. I want to understand. If she knew that you were so angry that you regarded her as a mouth disconnected from a person with feelings what do you think she would feel. I can't see how you can otherwise accept a bj from her if you dislike her so much. It it that separation thing men do when it comes to sex? Maybe women are right to stop the bj in an unsatisfactory relationship if it just means the usefulness of the mouth of a per you don't like. Posted via Mobile Device
I think what both parties need is to place the other spouse's needs and feelings first. If they did, her joy in pleasing him would exceed her temporary jaw discomfort. He wouldn't be focused on getting a BJ but rather on giving his wife pleasure. Figuring out how to give him pleasure should be her concern.
Judging by your post "only 4 -5 times a year" you seem dissatisfied with what she does give. Let's see, that about once every 3 months, that more than many men get. If she has jaw pain and does it anyway, do you think that you could feel a little grateful that she gives you an orgasm with no expectation of getting one herself and having jaw pain afterwards to boot. Saying it's an excuse does not seem to have a place in a loving relationship..
Maybe a little commiseration, have a nice warm hot towel for her and wrap her have lovingly and hold her instead of pouting and grumbling like a small child. If you did that held her and kissed her like you were just a little appreciative she may surprise you by a change in her attitude. Of course if you think she owes you more bj i can see why you would be sour. But since your attitude gets you nowhere, why not change up. Do you say it's an excuse because you want your pleasure and can not face the notion that she may have to hurt to give to you? Have you any proof she is faking?
Why not assume she does get jaw pain unless you are absolutely sure she does not. Better than calling her a the woman that you want to maintain a loving relationship with a lier. Kills the mood in so intimate encounter. I think if I said my jaw hurt and my partner got an attitude, I would feel that they cared more for the pleasure they got from my mouth and not so much about me. I would feel used. You can counter this by the warm towel act as if you care. Better yet, get a dildo about your size and give it a bj so that you see what it is like. Maybe you will be more sympathetic.
Why does she have to say that? I think her attitude matches yours - she is an ungraceful giver to an ungraceful receiver. So now you understand each other. A change in your attitude may help her to give to you more and more enthusiastically. The worse thing is to give to someone who shows a sense of entitlement and dissatisfaction. Posted via Mobile Device
Judging by your post "only 4 -5 times a year" you seem dissatisfied with what she does give. Let's see, that about once every 3 months, that more than many men get. If she has jaw pain and does it anyway, do you think that you could feel a little grateful that she gives you an orgasm with no expectation of getting one herself and having jaw pain afterwards to boot. Saying it's an excuse does not seem to have a place in a loving relationship..
Maybe a little commiseration, have a nice warm hot towel for her and wrap her have lovingly and hold her instead of pouting and grumbling like a small child. If you did that held her and kissed her like you were just a little appreciative she may surprise you by a change in her attitude. Of course if you think she owes you more bj i can see why you would be sour. But since your attitude gets you nowhere, why not change up. Do you say it's an excuse because you want your pleasure and can not face the notion that she may have to hurt to give to you? Have you any proof she is faking?
Why not assume she does get jaw pain unless you are absolutely sure she does not. Better than calling her a the woman that you want to maintain a loving relationship with a lier. Kills the mood in so intimate encounter. I think if I said my jaw hurt and my partner got an attitude, I would feel that they cared more for the pleasure they got from my mouth and not so much about me. I would feel used. You can counter this by the warm towel act as if you care. Better yet, get a dildo about your size and give it a bj so that you see what it is like. Maybe you will be more sympathetic.
Why does she have to say that? I think her attitude matches yours - she is an ungraceful giver to an ungraceful receiver. So now you understand each other. A change in your attitude may help her to give to you more and more enthusiastically. The worse thing is to give to someone who shows a sense of entitlement and dissatisfaction. Posted via Mobile Device
Oh Catherine, this is the first time I disagree with you. Ofcourse we only have his side of the story, but from what he said, I'd say he feels somewhat resentful and hurt by the comment his wife made. Ok, an off colour joke was made, but it was meant as a way of getting revengein his mind. You know, the same way you sometimes wish you could just punch someone in the face or wish you would just have put that person in place with a perfect comeback you thought of just now.
That said, 4 is quite low. And I can't imagine telling any loved one that. It just says no repect. Either do it and stop because you are tired, or just don do it. Posted via Mobile Device
Oh Catherine, this is the first time I disagree with you. Ofcourse we only have his side of the story, but from what he said, I'd say he feels somewhat resentful and hurt by the comment his wife made. Ok, an off colour joke was made, but it was meant as a way of getting revengein his mind. You know, the same way you sometimes wish you could just punch someone in the face or wish you would just have put that person in place with a perfect comeback you thought of just now.
That said, 4 is quite low. And I can't imagine telling any loved one that. It just says no repect. Either do it and stop because you are tired, or just don do it. Posted via Mobile Device
Ok D I should have left out all of the interpretation because I thing the most important think is to change his approach. Yes what she said is a mood killer but i need to go by the attitude he displays by the information in the post and try to give him advice from my woman's point of view.
What I really want to say is that he could make his response to her complaint of jaw pain more caring. Even if he thinks the jaw pain is faking I think he should assume that it is true. Offer her comfort (hot wet towel good for relax jaw muscle) can only be a win win.
If she has pain she will feel loved and cared for, if she is faking she will feel loved and cared for and guilty. Either way, her love bank is filled by his positive attitude instead of drained by his anger and doubt. He get a more loving attention and his love banks gets filled.
That was the main thing that got buried in the post. I think what is happening now is frustrating and makes him unhappy and feels unloved. Granted, he has to make the difficult leap of faith and be loving to someone who is not acting loving. I really think it is worth a try.
Catherine,
For the first time I think you missed the point. First off Michzz never said get off in her mouth, some other person responded to his post that way. Secondly, the OP's wife is using excuse after excuse "my jaw hurts" among other things. Look, we are talking 4 times a year here not everyday. How her jaw could hurt is beyond me and her in essence of "hurry up" is selfish and lazy to say the very least.
What I really want to say is that he could make his response to her complaint of jaw pain more caring. Even if he thinks the jaw pain is faking I think he should assume that it is true. Offer her comfort (hot wet towel good for relax jaw muscle) can only be a win win.
If she has pain she will feel loved and cared for, if she is faking she will feel loved and cared for and guilty. Either way, her love bank is filled by his positive attitude instead of drained by his anger and doubt. He get a more loving attention and his love banks gets filled.
Thanks for your explanation. This is a great idea. Would like his input on it. Naturally, if he has tried being loving often just to get shot down, it's no use trying and he should change tactics to what was posted before. Posted via Mobile Device
