You admitted that he lost his virginity at 12. Some of the replies here show perfectly well the double standards regarding sexual abuse. It can affect women, and we feel sorry for them. With men, if they act out any way, we call it BS.
If he's like me, its more of a trust issue. It's not as much that he thinks you're using him as much as he wants to know that you won't respond sexually in the presence of another guy.
It's hard to speak on the subject of abuse in men's lives, and maybe his life isn't like mine. To put it mildly, I've just seen the darker parts of both sexes when I would've rather been playing marbles with the guys. I put that life behind and raised a very stable family.
Thanks, him losing his v-card aged 12 wasn't abuse per se. The girl was young too. I don't think 12, but young, and he consented... but how can anyone really 'consent' at such a young age I guess...
If your guy can't get over it, and abuses you, then it becomes his problem, but still, if you think its worth saving, just keep in mind that he may be very immature in relationships.
This is the real issue here, and one that I am struggling with. I love him, he can be incredibly sweet and loving but immaturity rears its ugly head and I am not certain I could handle anymore of his issues or anything when he feels like lashing out. He says losing me has helped him learn a lot, but maybe that's just what i want to believe...? It was a few bad instances in our year long relationship, and he has been lovely / admitted fault in the 7 months since, but right now he's trying to win me back so i am trying to judge him on past actions, and yes these were very immature...
I guess I have to accept I have seen him at his worst. Part of him is happier now because he thinks we know each other better after what he put us through. He knows my limits and I know his 'issues'. I don't know if I can trust he has grown up enough in this time apart. I can take on board the fact that we all have baggage regarding the opposite sex in relationships, but it's not an excuse for hurting someone...I know that I definitely can't tolerate anything like what happened again. He is also new to the country, and the dynamic of relationships is different where he's from, so I have cut him a little slack in that regard, but anyone can have a string of bad experiences, wherever they're from, and it doesn't have to affect their current situation (myself a case in point). I think my bad experiences made me cut him off so quickly once he showed me this side. I know I have my issues too, as we all do... Just came on here to get some insight into his really... helping a lot, thanks,