Re: No Sex in two weeks and counting
We dont have any kids, although we have four dogs which my wife treats like kids, so she;s already kind of turned into mommy mode, adding kids would complicate things.
I cant get her to drink, wine puts her to sleep, she used to drink with her friends but doesnt like to drink with me...she doesnt want to be a DIRTY girl, anything remotely sexy is too dirty for her...
Although she used to party all the time, she from all her friends was the only one that didnt smoke, didnt have sex, and didnt drink too much...shes a good girl, but I want her to be bad with me..but seems like she doesnt want to be that way for me.
I have read the Love Languages, she read it with me for two chapters then lost interest..we both did the quiz and both our love languages were the same, both Physical..but the quiz is kinda bull-shiat because the questions dont make much sense (like what would you rather want..flowers from your spouse, or a romantic sexy night-NO ****, anybody would say Romantic sexy night, even non physical love people, everybody likes to be loved in a physical way, or at least lusted in a physical way)
The way I do it is I just avoid any sexual confrontation with my wife, like I will kiss her, hug her, stuff like that, did some romantic stuff on valentines day..and she loved it, but still..she hardly opened up..more as a favour than anything..so I do these things but I just go downstairs and watch sports, go to the gym, workout in my garage, stuff like that so that I dont get frustrated about our lack of sex..because I know she will never come on to me..
The way That I;ve initiated in the first three years of our marriage was through various ways..
-Bring home flowers, smooth talk her and we make our way to the bedroom
-Do something special or romantic on special occasions..inviting her to the bedroom later
-just jumping her from time to time, she always enjoys me doing all the work..and I enjoy it too, but would love for her to do the work at LEAST 10 percent of the time, that would be a HUGE improvement already
-Talk her up on the phone, or send her sexy emails..when I get home its like nothing happened..but I continue anyways and again, do ALL the work..
-Ask her to put on some sexy night dresses or something, sometimes she will..then once again, I start everything and do ALL the work.
Ive tried the whole NO MORE MR.NICEGUY thing...Ive tried not calling her or being less romantic...tried dressing up for her more often...always keep myself clean, help her out with chores..take care of the dogs as well...work out with her sometimes..all kinds of stuff..but sex always seems to be the last thing on her mind..
It really feels hopeless..we will have a great marriage as long as we dont make sex any priority in our lives at all...but as soon as I thing about sex and let her know about it frustration begins..seems like we will just never have that complete marriage..unless if she changes somehow..