I got a "Hall Pass" once
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 03-06-2011, 09:24 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Thumbs up I got a "Hall Pass" once

If any of you haven't seen it, especially women, but also men, I recommend seeing the movie "Hall Pass" from the creators of the 40 Year Old Virgin (I think - it appears to be the same humor and writing - don't quote me on that).

Me and my gf went out and saw it on a whim (I can't remember the last time I went to the movies).

Despite marginal acting at times, the writing was awesome and witty. I laughed my butt off. Christina Applegate was good too.

It won't ruin the movie if I tell you this (you can still go see it) but there is one point in the movie, where the men are all out bumbling around like pathetic middle aged men to get laid that week they are off from marriage and the woman who gave her husband the "hall pass" (the cutie from The Office is the wife - she is just amazing to look at her demeanor and face; hte psychiatrist is that woman from The View, dont recall her name) comes to an epiphany - she is with a guy who is giving her attention and she is thinking of sleeping with him obviously. . .she had actually taken the recommendation from a psychiatrist to give her husband a "Hall Pass".

She says in a moment of realization, "OMG. . .the Hall Pass wasn't for him. . .it was for me."

It really made me think about my past marital dysfunction. My ex-wife had given me a Hall Pass a couple of times. She denies doing it but I can tell you, ladies, any guy remembers that "so-called gift" pretty vividly.

I can see now the Hall Pass was for her, not for me.

It's kind of sad (and comic) - in the end, most guys just want to have sex with their wives; they aren't the same guys they were when they were younger (often they never were players anyway).

I think all couples should go see the movie and prepare to laugh at the movie and yourselves.

Humor is a potent, POTENT means of educating and making a point.
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Old 03-06-2011, 10:19 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: I got a "Hall Pass" once

I never understood the premise of a hall pass. So a wife offers it and the husband blows out a sigh of relief and goes about his business seeking strange. How would this not breed resentment in the wife? It might be funny movie entertainment but due to this movie, many people are talking about the concept like it is a good thing. I fail to see the hilarity of it when brought to real life, if anything, it becomes a chip to be cashed in later....when least expected.
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Old 03-06-2011, 10:45 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: I got a "Hall Pass" once

It sounds like a good movie. My wife gave me a free pass when she cheated but has since expired. I did look into having sex w/ another woman, she wanted to, she was there, I had a bed, I had protection, hell I had permission but I couldn't do it. I took a vow and it means something to me, even if my wife was there cheering me on I couldn't. Am I a failure? I think not, we all must do what we believe is best for our families and live w/ who we are.
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Old 03-06-2011, 10:46 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: I got a "Hall Pass" once

Movies aside, seems to me that anyone being offered a hall pass better wonder WHY their spouse is doing it.

Just thinking about it a moment or two would inform.
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Old 03-06-2011, 11:09 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: I got a "Hall Pass" once

All kidding aside, movies like Hall Pass and Hot Tub Time Machine, while hilarious and entertaining, do further perpetuate the stereotype of the bored husband who cannot wait to "break free" from their nagging/*****y/overbearing ball and chain and go out and find new and exciting. It is a tale as old as time and now people are talking about it like this should be a "solution" within long term marriages. Whose talking? Maxim, AskMen and other male oriented media. I wonder if this would be talking points if instead the movie was about bored wives who wanted to find new ****. I doubt men would view that as a comedy but rather a horror flick.
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Old 03-06-2011, 11:37 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: I got a "Hall Pass" once

Um hello? "Sleep, Pray, Love" and "Momma Mia" don't count? What about "Bridges of ******* County"?
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Old 03-06-2011, 12:10 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: I got a "Hall Pass" once

Brennan,

Just go watch the movie. Trust me.

The movie doesn't "glorify" the idea of a "Hall Pass" - it makes a comedy out of it and demonstrates the idea that men, while they say they have it in them, don't really have it in the end. That all men (even including me) nuture this fantasy that if it weren't for their wives, they'd have 20 different women every month.

Only it ain't true.

Family Man is another movie that hits upon this in a Rated G version, although it takes a less sexual angle.

Men gawk, they fantasize, but in the end, they want to be with their wives.

It's almost a R rated version of Road Hogs.

And the movie does hit upon the woman's side of this. . .that's what I was getting at. . . and the movie was getting at. . .in the end. . .who is the Hall Pass really for? Maybe not so much men as it is for women.

Women, who are tired of their husbands desire for them, who want an excuse to get out of "the duty" and perhaps an excuse to wander the "halls" themselves.
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And maybe I seem a bit confused. . .but maybe, I got you pegged! Ha! Don't know what to do about those tossed salad and scrambled eggs. . .they're posting again. Scannerguard has left the building.

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Old 03-06-2011, 12:21 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: I got a "Hall Pass" once

Quote:
Originally Posted by michzz View Post
Um hello? "Sleep, Pray, Love" and "Momma Mia" don't count? What about "Bridges of ******* County"?
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Only saw Mamma Mia. Exactly how does THAT count as a hall pass? The whole movie is dancing and singing and a gay mans fantasy movie.
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Old 03-06-2011, 12:23 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: I got a "Hall Pass" once

Brennan,

If I can further sell this movie to you, let me say this:

A. It is my belief that a lot (not sure if most, but a lot) of men are like the men in the 40 Year Old Virgin, either a virgin (pretty rare but not as rare as you may think) pretty late in life, or B. (pretty common) Just as dysfunctional about sex as his friends were who were trying to get him laid.

"Don't worry man, I gotcha your back!"

THAT is the humor.

or

B. Like the married men in this movie. Reliving the days when they use to "score" when they were younger and unencumbered by "wives". . .only, maybe that was a fantasy? Not a reality?

Maybe you'll have to watch the movie since you are a regular contributor here, since I think the subject of lack in sex in marriage comes up here so much chronically.
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Old 03-06-2011, 12:27 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: I got a "Hall Pass" once

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brennan View Post
Only saw Mamma Mia. Exactly how does THAT count as a hall pass? The whole movie is dancing and singing and a gay mans fantasy movie.
isn't it about trying to figure out who the father is?
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Old 03-06-2011, 12:32 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: I got a "Hall Pass" once

PS: In the end too, the sexes learn much about each other. The men learn the lesson about how they desire only their wives and want their family but also about how their behavior often drives women to give them a "Hall Pass."

I would say I was guilty as charged.

Really, the movie is more contemplative than on superficial examination.

But. . .you can go and just enjoy it on the silly level as well and not peer into the commentary. I think if you don't though, you are missing further humor.
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Old 03-06-2011, 12:38 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Scannerguard View Post
Brennan,

Just go watch the movie. Trust me.

The movie doesn't "glorify" the idea of a "Hall Pass" - it makes a comedy out of it and demonstrates the idea that men, while they say they have it in them, don't really have it in the end. That all men (even including me) nuture this fantasy that if it weren't for their wives, they'd have 20 different women every month.

Only it ain't true.

Family Man is another movie that hits upon this in a Rated G version, although it takes a less sexual angle.

Men gawk, they fantasize, but in the end, they want to be with their wives.

It's almost a R rated version of Road Hogs.

And the movie does hit upon the woman's side of this. . .that's what I was getting at. . . and the movie was getting at. . .in the end. . .who is the Hall Pass really for? Maybe not so much men as it is for women.

Women, who are tired of their husbands desire for them, who want an excuse to get out of "the duty" and perhaps an excuse to wander the "halls" themselves.
Of course they want to be with their wives! We're hot and sexy and still pick up your socks from the bedroom floor.
What irks me about movies like that though is the stereotype of wives NOT being like that. The constantly pissed off, sex withholding shrew of a woman that men just can't wait to get away from, if only for a day or a week. It's tiresome and Hollywood needs to pick a new line of thinking. On the flip side, advertising needs to find a new line of thinking when it comes to the bumbling idiot husband who cannot do anything without his wife "showing" him. It perpetuates the helpless male stereotype and the "mother" teaching him how it is done.
Not so subtle message in both cases is the wife is someone to toss aside in search of new ***** and the husband is somebody to be taught, trained and molded into an obedient child. It's unoriginal and lame.
I'd like to see a movie where the wife isn't some ball busting harpy who is actually supportive and loving and the right hand person to her husband and the husband isn't some fool who let's his wife control him and tell him what to do but instead stands up as a man and gets the job done. Oh wait, a movie like that does exist. The King's Speech. That how I role, baby.
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Old 03-06-2011, 01:06 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Well Brennan,

You produce a movie like that and you have about as much of a success as Police Academy 7 - there is no conflict. The key to any good story is conflict, in this case, very "typical" marital conflict over sex.

I don't think the writers typecasted that woman from The Office and Christina Applegate necessarily as "harpies". . .you could say they were typical wives who took their husbands for granted and assumed they couldn't get any if their lives depended on it. So, they issue a Hall Pass.

They were proven right. . .but then again. . .proven wrong also.

Moral of the story among others - don't take your spouse for granted.

I also enjoyed a couple of exchanges by the two male characters - the one was when they were talking about how when they were teenagers and they figured when they got married, they wouldn't have to jerk off any more and how THAT was a fantasy.

The second scene is when they are about ready to give in on Day 5 and throw in the towel and the main character says, "Maybe we should call it quits, leave early and go back to our wives. I miss my wife and family."

His friend says, "No!!! If we do that, the balance of power shifts forever!!! Women would know then they need us, and will hold sex over our heads eternally."

Say what you want, but these writers hit upon what every man has had a dialogue on in his mind with Sex, Power, Lies, Videotapes, and Money.

If you want to shun the movie for whatever reason, it's your $11.00 but I think you could stand to go to the movies and laugh at yourself a little bit, Brennan. I laughed at myself. Just my opinion.
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And maybe I seem a bit confused. . .but maybe, I got you pegged! Ha! Don't know what to do about those tossed salad and scrambled eggs. . .they're posting again. Scannerguard has left the building.
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Old 03-06-2011, 01:47 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: I got a "Hall Pass" once

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scannerguard View Post
Well Brennan,

You produce a movie like that and you have about as much of a success as Police Academy 7 - there is no conflict. The key to any good story is conflict, in this case, very "typical" marital conflict over sex.

I don't think the writers typecasted that woman from The Office and Christina Applegate necessarily as "harpies". . .you could say they were typical wives who took their husbands for granted and assumed they couldn't get any if their lives depended on it. So, they issue a Hall Pass.

They were proven right. . .but then again. . .proven wrong also.

Moral of the story among others - don't take your spouse for granted.

I also enjoyed a couple of exchanges by the two male characters - the one was when they were talking about how when they were teenagers and they figured when they got married, they wouldn't have to jerk off any more and how THAT was a fantasy.

The second scene is when they are about ready to give in on Day 5 and throw in the towel and the main character says, "Maybe we should call it quits, leave early and go back to our wives. I miss my wife and family."

His friend says, "No!!! If we do that, the balance of power shifts forever!!! Women would know then they need us, and will hold sex over our heads eternally."

Say what you want, but these writers hit upon what every man has had a dialogue on in his mind with Sex, Power, Lies, Videotapes, and Money.

If you want to shun the movie for whatever reason, it's your $11.00 but I think you could stand to go to the movies and laugh at yourself a little bit, Brennan. I laughed at myself. Just my opinion.
Exactly Scanner! Women hold sex over men...the never ending stereotype. We are all just ball busting non-sexual women who "give" our husbands sex out of duty. We are all lazy in bed and think of England. So the man looks for something else but in the end is so "conditioned" by the ball and chain that he cannot follow through. Lovely message.
I might be the odd one out on this forum but I have never been the typical wife and it is insulting to me to see my gender pigeonholed in this way. While the movie is no doubt funny, it does bother me that this continues the myth that women hold mens sexuality hostage and therefore men are all looking for an out.
As for producing a movie with no conflict, apparently you haven't seen this masterpiece. It was made for under $14mm and prior to winning 4 Academy Awards, grossed $215mm. I am confident it left Police Academy 7 in the dust.
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Old 03-06-2011, 06:07 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: I got a "Hall Pass" once

Brennan,

No, the message was that men are so in love and bonded to their wives (not conditioned) that they can't follow through. (along with being middle-aged lame)

I think that happened to be a lovely message.

And the fact that your movie won 4 Academy Awards and probably had no plot (no conflict) and was probably Artsy-Fartsy (ergo the awards) probably relegates it to the bin with Police Academy 7 in my book.

But if you think it's worth a rent, then I'll rent it. I"ll put it in my Netflix queue.

But bear in mind, a good comedy is harder to come by than a good drama.

People are full of drama. Good humor is rarer.
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And maybe I seem a bit confused. . .but maybe, I got you pegged! Ha! Don't know what to do about those tossed salad and scrambled eggs. . .they're posting again. Scannerguard has left the building.
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