Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
I am married to my love for 19 years, and I suffer from that horrible, and very embarrassing thing called - premature ejaculation. This is VERY frustrating for my wife, and so hard for her. She does get to cum, I have to resort to oral, and she loves it when she cums - but she says that the natural way is so much more satisfying, because she can have multiple orgasms. In all our years of marriage this has been tough because she really wants me to last longer and enjoy a little more, and so do I want to go longer. I have tried foreplay and all the recommended stuff, I have even done the technique of pulling out of her, before I ejaculate - nothing works!
I know there are more of you males out there, that are perhaps to shy to admit you suffer too - have any of you got the solution that ACTUALLY works!
Wear a condom, use densensitizing cream, get her to give you a BJ before you start on her... Pull out and give her some oral or switch positions, think of Oprah...
If you have tried all of the recommended methods, learn to accept it.
Discuss this with your wife so you can both come to terms with it.
Some people are crippled, impotent, blind, etc.
You have premature ejaculation.
Learn to embrace your challenge and just work around it.
It sounds like you have already by using oral.
I have the same issue more or less. I haven't found anything yet that actually worked for me either. Not that my wife cares, I think she'd rather have it over quickly anyway...
slap the ham 6-8 times a day, give it a month and then jump her bones. Call me in the morning.
Seriously, if you are getting sex 1-2 times a month I can understand, but if you're getting it every day and you still can't last more than a few minutes then you have a problem. Slap the ham, what do ya have to loose?
Mouse
I concur with smackdown completely. I am 46 and in what is more or less a sexless marriage. On the very rare occasion (like 3-4 times a year) my wife actually lets me have sex with her, I ejaculate very quickly...maybe within a couple of minutes (MAX!) of being inside her. It makes me feel guilty and her unfulfilled. I suspect it is because it happens so rarely that subconsciously I want to 'plant my seed' quickly before she changes her mind.
In my younger days with other girlfriends when I had a very active sex life...like atleast once a day, I NEVER suffered from PE...I can only think it was because I was getting it so often.
Now its like...??...when you are really thirsty you don't take little sips you gulp it down and all too quickly the glass is empty!
All I can suggest to NewZealand is to have alot more sex with his wife...the unfortunate thing about that is that it takes two....and if his wife (just like mine) isn't interested....he's up the creek without a paddle!
or give her oral then penetration then when your getting close to cumming stop and give her more oral until you calm down a bit then back to penetration. repeat and rinse repeat and rinse.
also try going slow and deep mybe even go as deep as you can and grind your pibic bone on her clit.then fast again until you start feeling like your close then slow down. pay attention to the feeling your getting so you know when to slow down.
or try going for round two you should be able to last longer the second time around.
tell her she so hot you can't help it and don't make it stressfull. sex should be fun and.
you could also get a toy to use for a while before you penetrate.
As a wife to a man with PE, I applaud you for writing and for wanting to take control of this situation. My DH also suffers from PE BUT he won't talk about it and he thinks all is well, whereas I am left in the cold feeling like he could care less. I hope you find the answers and share them here.
You are all just wonderful, and so willing to help. I am going to try a few different methods that I have read about on the net. I think for a quick fix, I may resort to going back to the mens clinic, here in Auckland and I will get another round of injections that make you stay hard for at least an hour or so - maybe once I inject I will also put a condom on and at least that way when I cum, it will be in the condom and then I can take it off and give her, what she so badly wants....
I remember a few years ago I did take the injection and we made amazing love - she actually commented and said that the stuff was amazing - so this could be the way to go.
So, exactly how long should a man be able to last inside under normal conditions if he does not have premature ejaculation. I always came within a few minutes, but it never seemed weird to me. If a guy is horny and being stimulated, I don't know what would cause it to go on and on. I have read to where men can learn to control when they ejaculate. I've never understood that either.
Premature Ejaculation SUCKS!!! 
