How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #61 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 04:54 PM
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Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

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Its not ownership.....its respect, respect for one self, respect for the other, and respect for their relationship.



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I was simply addressing the word ownership. and since i am not in an open relationship, I therefore can not comment if there is respect or not.

Hmmmm... ok.
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post #62 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 05:48 PM
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Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

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Its not ownership.....its respect, respect for one self, respect for the other, and respect for their relationship.
Indeed. Respect is even more important in non-conventional relationships.

Love is an ideal thing; marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

CELIBACY IS NOT HEREDITARY.
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post #63 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 06:28 PM
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Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

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No man control's a woman body. Just ask some of the betrayed husbands in these forums who thought they "owned" thier wives. Or the men here who would never "allow" their woman (as if a woman really needs to ask us for permission) to sleep with anyone else and they did. It wasn't until thier wives cheated that they realized they didnt own any part of her.

Some women are physically more sexual than other women just as men are. And also just as men, are coming to realize that with these changing new times, they can openly pursue it.
Ha Ha that's rich. When did I imply ownership? No I implied manipulation. You manipulate your wife to give herself to others because she loves you, again very similar to how a pimp works. Only difference is a pimp does it for money the husband does it for his own ego and sexual gratification. If she really wanted to give herself she would just cheat or dump him, no she does it for her husband out of a misplaced love, for his affection. Except her husband who loves her should never ask her to give herself to another man precisely because he doesn't own her body. Because in the long run it's not good for her to objectify herself like that for his own ego, so he can get off. Again we are not talking about swapping where there is a decision made by the two of them. We are talking about hot wife or as I like to call it pimp my wife. Swapping she wants to do it, wife swap almost always she does it for him.

A quote from a pimp (something I never thought I would write :P) "It started in high school, middle school really. [It was] 8th grade. Just being the dude that can talk a female into having sex with me and a couple of buddies. Always having the gift of the gab, always being able to talk to convince a female to see my point of view. It's like challenging yourself. Seeing how far you can get a female to go. That's how it started. Seeing what I could talk a female into doing."

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it's the same dynamic. That is the draw, that is where the sexual satisfaction comes from.

Ever notice how with this fetish there always comes the videos and pictures of his wife with the other man. Why do you think that is? It's because then he can get the gratification of showing off the power he has over her to others. "Look at how I got my wife to give up all her bonding instincts and debase herself with another man. Look how much power I have over her." It's rich that you accuse me of controlling a woman's body when the whole entire fetish is about controlling the woman's body and soul. Again there is no power like the power to get a person to act against their instinct and throw away their body for your ego.

Last edited by sokillme; 11-16-2016 at 06:42 PM.
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post #64 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 07:08 PM
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Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

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Ha Ha that's rich. When did I imply ownership? No I implied manipulation. You manipulate your wife to give herself to others because she loves you, again very similar to how a pimp works. Only difference is a pimp does it for money the husband does it for his own ego and sexual gratification. If she really wanted to give herself she would just cheat or dump him, no she does it for her husband out of a misplaced love, for his affection. Except her husband who loves her should never ask her to give herself to another man precisely because he doesn't own her body. Because in the long run it's not good for her to objectify herself like that for his own ego, so he can get off. Again we are not talking about swapping where there is a decision made by the two of them. We are talking about hot wife or as I like to call it pimp my wife. Swapping she wants to do it, wife swap almost always she does it for him.

A quote from a pimp (something I never thought I would write :P) "It started in high school, middle school really. [It was] 8th grade. Just being the dude that can talk a female into having sex with me and a couple of buddies. Always having the gift of the gab, always being able to talk to convince a female to see my point of view. It's like challenging yourself. Seeing how far you can get a female to go. That's how it started. Seeing what I could talk a female into doing."

Quoted from here
it's the same dynamic. That is the draw, that is where the sexual satisfaction comes from.

Ever notice how with this fetish there always comes the videos and pictures of his wife with the other man. Why do you think that is? It's because then he can get the gratification of showing off the power he has over her to others. "Look at how I got my wife to give up all her bonding instincts and debase herself with another man. Look how much power I have over her." It's rich that you accuse me of controlling a woman's body when the whole entire fetish is about controlling the woman's body and soul. Again there is no power like the power to get a person to act against their instinct and throw away their body for your ego.
Oh, you're talking about weak women... sure, weak women can be manipulated to do anything. Strong women, always make up their own mind.
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post #65 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 07:12 PM
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Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

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Oh, you're talking about weak women... sure, weak women can be manipulated to do anything. Strong women, always make up their own mind.
It has nothing to do with weak or strong it has to do with trying to please you husband and no realizing his true motivation. I would not call these woman week.
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post #66 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 07:38 PM
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Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

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It has nothing to do with weak or strong it has to do with trying to please you husband and no realizing his true motivation. I would not call these woman week.
I'm a bit confused here, are you conveying that any woman, whether weak or strong, will do anything to please a husband?
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post #67 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 08:15 PM
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Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

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I'm a bit confused here, are you conveying that any woman, whether weak or strong, will do anything to please a husband?
I am conveying that most woman and even some very un-evolved men in hotwife don't even realize what the true motivation of their husband is and if they did they would not do it and would be discussed.
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post #68 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 08:18 PM
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Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

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I am conveying that most woman and even some very un-evolved men in hotwife don't even realize what the true motivation of their husband is and if they did they would not do it and would be discussed.
I wish we had a couple in that lifestyle that would chime in.

TAM needs a section for non-traditional relationships. As we see more and more variations of them, we have more and more questions to ask.
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post #69 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 08:28 PM
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Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

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I wish we had a couple in that lifestyle that would chime in.

TAM needs a section for non-traditional relationships. As we see more and more variations of them, we have more and more questions to ask.
I am sure I could find many woman out of the lifestyle who would say it was not what they thought. This one is exploitative, which for some people is OK, but it at least needs to be seen as such. Hey if you want to be a dom or a sub that is your business, but when you are being dominated on the sly then I have a big problem with that.
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post #70 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 08:43 PM
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Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

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I am sure I could find many woman out of the lifestyle who would say it was not what they thought. This one is exploitative, which for some people is OK, but it at least needs to be seen as such. Hey if you want to be a dom or a sub that is your business, but when you are being dominated on the sly then I have a big problem with that.
Are "hotwife and stag" marriages any different? Both are considered Dom.
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post #71 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 09:05 PM
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Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

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Are "hotwife and stag" marriages any different? Both are considered Dom.
Sorry don't know that one. Anyway I think I made my argument. Hotwife is presented like the wife has control but really the husband is a pimp. If you really like that you wife is F-ing other men, just let her and don't even ask her, take videos or pictures. Just let her and not tell you. I doubt most hotwife guys would go for that one. Let them find out years later if she wants to tell.
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post #72 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 09:12 PM
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Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

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Sorry don't know that one. Anyway I think I made my argument. Hotwife is presented like the wife has control but really the husband is a pimp. If you really like that you wife is F-ing other men, just let her and don't even ask her, take videos or pictures. Just let her and not tell you. I doubt most hotwife guys would go for that one. Let them find out years later if she wants to tell.
From my understanding, that is exactly what happens. The wife is free to make her own decisions and the husband isnt always told (or the wife isnt required to "report" depending on how one sees it) about every encounter.

No pictures. No video.
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post #73 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 09:54 PM
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Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

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From my understanding, that is exactly what happens. The wife is free to make her own decisions and the husband isnt always told (or the wife isnt required to "report" depending on how one sees it) about every encounter.

No pictures. No video.
That's just a woman dating around for a better man cause her husband is a dumb@ss.
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post #74 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 10:38 PM
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Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

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That's just a woman dating around for a better man cause her husband is a dumb@ss.
Ok... you dont really understand those lifestyles. If your educational extent is personal opinion, there is nothing to learn nor teach here.
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post #75 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 10:41 PM
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Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

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Ok... you dont really understand those lifestyles. If your educational extent is personal opinion, there is nothing to learn nor teach here.
Sorry to let you down sunsi
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