How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man - Page 6 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

User Tag List

 91Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #76 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 11:23 PM
Member
 
Apexmale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 300
Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

Quote:
Originally Posted by sokillme View Post
Sorry to let you down sunsi
Its "sensei"...
Apexmale is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #77 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 11:39 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,021
Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apexmale View Post
Its "sensei"...
Mercy is for the week, we do not train to be merciful here.
sokillme is online now  
post #78 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-17-2016, 08:45 AM
Member
 
Apexmale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 300
Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

Quote:
Originally Posted by sokillme View Post
Mercy is for the week, we do not train to be merciful here.
It's "weak", not "week".
Apexmale is offline  
post #79 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-17-2016, 11:53 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 584
Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melvynman View Post
First off you simply had bad sex with a guy. Your husband is excited because he is programed to be excited by you having sex with someone else. You might try being a "hot wife." You pick your dates. You don't have to have sex with anybody you don't want to. If you go on a date don't tell your husband anything. When he asks tell him you don't kiss and tell. He is going to be very excited. I will tell you exactly what he is going to do. He is going to want to perform oral sex on you trying to see if you had sex. Play safe and have fun!
It continues to be true, no matter how disgusting, degrading or potentially harmful something may be there is someone who enjoys it.
zookeeper is offline  
post #80 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-17-2016, 12:45 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Mid-South
Posts: 743
Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apexmale View Post
I wish we had a couple in that lifestyle that would chime in.

TAM needs a section for non-traditional relationships. As we see more and more variations of them, we have more and more questions to ask.
I agree with you but anyone who tried to contribute positively in such a section would be swamped by the TAM attack pack telling them what idiots they were and leave the forum.

There would be no constructive discussion and nothing gained.
WonkyNinja is online now  
post #81 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-17-2016, 12:53 PM
Member
 
Apexmale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 300
Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

Quote:
Originally Posted by WonkyNinja View Post
I agree with you but anyone who tried to contribute positively in such a section would be swamped by the TAM attack pack telling them what idiots they were and leave the forum.

There would be no constructive discussion and nothing gained.
I don't have a non-traditional lifestyle, but my training and exposure goes way beyond accepting just my own life and way of living. I try to advocate for non-traditional relationships here in TAM because those type of relationships get little to no help here in these forums.

Open marriages and hotwife marriages get hammered while not a word is said against interracial or same sex marriages. All of them are non-traditional relationships and a specific section should be created for marriage discussion among those lifestyles.

Sent from my SM-G928T using Tapatalk
Apexmale is offline  
post #82 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 03:05 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 5
Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

Agree, regular posters in here seem to be quite intolerant of anything other than traditional 50's type of marital arrangements. Not that everything other than 50's traditional marriages is good and healthy. As a matter of fact plenty of these non-traditional arrangements can be abusive. But not all of them. Unfortunately there isn't a space in here for people to get some feedback on those non-traditional marriages without getting shutdown by the regulars here.

FWIW, non-traditional marriages are more common than most think. Everything from spouses with hall passes while on business trips to excursions to swinger clubs while on vacation to full blown -yet very well hidden- open"-ish" marriages.
DosXXMan is offline  
post #83 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 04:43 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,021
Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apexmale View Post
I don't have a non-traditional lifestyle, but my training and exposure goes way beyond accepting just my own life and way of living. I try to advocate for non-traditional relationships here in TAM because those type of relationships get little to no help here in these forums.

Open marriages and hotwife marriages get hammered while not a word is said against interracial or same sex marriages. All of them are non-traditional relationships and a specific section should be created for marriage discussion among those lifestyles.

Sent from my SM-G928T using Tapatalk
Did you just compare hot wife to interracial marriage? Is this because you can only see people of two races together as a fetish thing? Seriously? Even monogamous Gay marriage though only mainstream in the last 20 years is very different then hot wife and open marriage.
sokillme is online now  
post #84 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 04:54 PM
Member
 
Apexmale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 300
Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

Quote:
Originally Posted by sokillme View Post
Did you just compare hot wife to interracial marriage? Is this because you can only see people of two races together as a fetish thing? Seriously? Even monogamous Gay marriage though only mainstream in the last 20 years is very different then hot wife and open marriage.
I compared them because they are both "non-traditional" marriages. Same sex marriages, interracial marriages, open-marriages are all non-traditional. Please dont add your own meaning to my words...or is that your "fetish" thing?
Apexmale is offline  
post #85 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 05:04 PM
Member
 
Apexmale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 300
Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

Quote:
Originally Posted by DosXXMan View Post
Unfortunately there isn't a space in here for people to get some feedback on those non-traditional marriages without getting shutdown by the regulars here.

FWIW, non-traditional marriages are more common than most think. Everything from spouses with hall passes while on business trips to excursions to swinger clubs while on vacation to full blown -yet very well hidden- open"-ish" marriages.

Yea, and all of us TAM members know that only "traditional marriages" are effective and last without divorce. Or several of them.
Apexmale is offline  
post #86 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 06:20 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 584
Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apexmale View Post
I compared them because they are both "non-traditional" marriages. Same sex marriages, interracial marriages, open-marriages are all non-traditional. Please dont add your own meaning to my words...or is that your "fetish" thing?
Be honest, at least. The only reason for that comparison is to try to equate all three.

It's convenient for you to lump gay and interracial marriages in with open marriages with the "non-traditional" moniker. Too bad it's a falsehood. Gay and interracial marriages share the same core values of monogamy that open marriages stand in diametrical opposition to. The subject of this thread goes one step further wherein it is not only permissible to have multiple sexual partners, but both married partners actively participate in those activities together. It's not just about one or both partners being able to experience others, in this case one of the partners REQUIRES the other to take the actions in order to fulfill his own needs.

Therefore, it is not only understandable but to be expected that posters here would find the lifestyle you endorse to be deviant. By your logic, pedophile or bestial marriages are simply "non-traditional.". They ain't.

I don't care a bit what two consenting adults decide to do sexually. I do reserve the right to form my own opinion about what they do and give non-binding advice when asked.
zookeeper is offline  
post #87 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 07:14 PM
Member
 
Apexmale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 300
Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

Quote:
Originally Posted by zookeeper View Post
Be honest, at least. The only reason for that comparison is to try to equate all three.

It's convenient for you to lump gay and interracial marriages in with open marriages with the "non-traditional" moniker. Too bad it's a falsehood. Gay and interracial marriages share the same core values of monogamy that open marriages stand in diametrical opposition to.
Ok, let's all be honest about all forms of marriage then. Using your perception, look around these forum posts and tell me how many "traditional marriages" had multiple sex partners (as do open marriages) despite "core values" you mentioned. The only adults in those traditional marriages not consenting were the ones being betrayed. Betrayal can exist in open marriages as well.

I refer to "non-traditional" marriages (interracial, same sex, and open mariages) in the sense that they are all in the minority.

No one critisizes interracial marriages here for fear of appearing racist. No one critisizes same sex marriages here also for the fear of appearing discriminatory. But plenty attack open marriages because they differ in religious views and "core values"... as if religion and "core values" play no part in those relationships.

The reason couples get attacked here isn't because their open marriages lack "core values". Couples in open marriages get attacked because among members here, those couples dont have the majorities "shared values".

I will still be receptive to giving and recieving advice from all types of marriages... not just relationships who share my own values.
Apexmale is offline  
post #88 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 07:19 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 584
Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apexmale View Post
Ok, let's all be honest about all forms of marriage then. Using your perception, look around these forum posts and tell me how many "traditional marriages" had multiple sex partners (as do open marriages) despite "core values" you mentioned. The only adults in those traditional marriages not consenting were the ones being betrayed. Betrayal can exist in open marriages as well.

I refer to "non-traditional" marriages (interracial, same sex, and open mariages) in the sense that they are all in the minority.

No one critisizes interracial marriages here for fear of appearing racist. No one critisizes same sex marriages here also for the fear of appearing discriminatory. But plenty attack open marriages because they differ in religious views and "core values"... as if religion and "core values" play no part in those relationships.

The reason couples get attacked here isn't because their open marriages lack "core values". Couples in open marriages get attacked because among members here, those couples dont have the majorities "shared values".

I will still be receptive to giving and recieving advice from all types of marriages... not just relationships who share my own values.
I see plenty of cheaters "attacked" here due to their infidelity. Seems perfectly consistent to me.
zookeeper is offline  
post #89 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 07:22 PM
Member
 
Apexmale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 300
Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

Quote:
Originally Posted by zookeeper View Post
I see plenty of cheaters "attacked" here due to their infidelity. Seems perfectly consistent to me.
Couples in open marriages dont have to "cheat" on thier partners to be attacked here. They get attacked simply for thier type of consenting marriage.
Apexmale is offline  
post #90 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 08:06 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,696
Re: How do I handle my husbands fantasy of me sleeping with another man

This is a monogamy-centrist marriage site, to my understanding. If people are in an "alternative" or non-monogamy based relationship, this might not be the best website to serve them whether or not they are cheating or have a "hall pass" or otherwise.
Starstarfish is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I Fantasy my Wife having Sex with another man while I Watch Gooch78 Sex in Marriage 47 03-10-2014 09:51 PM
How to handle husbands insecurity anony2 General Relationship Discussion 8 08-22-2012 10:16 PM
Husbands Fantasy angiewatson17 Sex in Marriage 37 01-25-2012 05:41 AM
Cant forgive husbands fantasy into reality! pollyanne Considering Divorce or Separation 15 09-22-2009 11:29 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome