Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
He did not post them. Him taking these picture swas a feeble attempt at him not resorting to porn but visualizing his wife. The one who is supposed to be there for him. I could see him feeling that this was not cheating. She is his wife. We understand why he did not tell her. He is just desperate. A better step for him would be to divorce her. But he loves her.
Sorry looking at porn is not like banging another person folks. Lighten up. It is not like she is being faithful to him. Maybe she is not cheating, but by not meeting his #1 need she is being unfaithful to him. Yes, I said it.
He did not post them. Him taking these picture swas a feeble attempt at him not resorting to porn but visualizing his wife. The one who is supposed to be there for him. I could see him feeling that this was not cheating. She is his wife. We understand why he did not tell her. He is just desperate. A better step for him would be to divorce her. But he loves her.
Sorry looking at porn is not like banging another person folks. Lighten up. It is not like she is being faithful to him. Maybe she is not cheating, but by not meeting his #1 need she is being unfaithful to him. Yes, I said it.
I am going to say, I think the guy is very sexually frustrated.
I am weird in that the porn would bother me far more then him taking pictures of my butt while sleeping. However my fiance would not post them on the internet, and I give myself to him sexually and have no issue with that. However, saying that I can understand why you would have an issue with it.
Why not list the things that you do find attractive about him and what you don't?
I am going to guess here and say he's really nice, and really nice in bed, not aggressive and take charge and that it puts you off? feel free to tell me if I'm wrong.
When you envisage really good sex, what would be happening in your fantasy? can you convey this to him and get him to partake?
I think we are talking about a sex starved and therefore love starved man. We need to remember that sexual fullfillment is how men get intimacy from their wives. It is how they connect.
No sex = no intimacy = no connection = no marriage.
Porn does not give a connection. It is just part of him releasing his sexual tension. I don't know how anyone could blame a man for using porn in a sexless marriage. I don't know for sure his purpose for the pictures. BUT, I think he finds his wife sexually attractive. He probably found his use of porn degrading and really wanted to see his wife. Not perverted ... desparate. He wanted some masturbation material from his wife since he could not get sex from her.
Further, I agree that maybe she wanted him to be more Alpha. He needs to work on his attraction. But that said he cannot ravage his wife unless she is a willing participant. Othewise we would then be wanting him arrested for maritial rape. If she is really turned off by him he just is not going to get the ravage me vibe from his wife.
From this thread he sounds like a Nice Guy. Fast forward to her latest thread:
So he cheated on her. I think he should have divorced her first. He had good reason to divorce her. Cheating is wrong.
No excuse for him but this was pretty predictable.
Sexless marriage is just plain cruel. So is cheating. They are both reasons for divorce in my opinion.
Wha all this BS about porn beeing bad? I have seen noone comment that female sexual fantasies are bad? This attitude is sexist - male(visual) sexual preferences is bad while female is good? This is a joke - women use porn too but it is camoflaged as romance novels.
He did not post them. Him taking these picture swas a feeble attempt at him not resorting to porn but visualizing his wife. The one who is supposed to be there for him. I could see him feeling that this was not cheating. She is his wife. We understand why he did not tell her. He is just desperate. A better step for him would be to divorce her. But he loves her.
Sorry looking at porn is not like banging another person folks. Lighten up. It is not like she is being faithful to him. Maybe she is not cheating, but by not meeting his #1 need she is being unfaithful to him. Yes, I said it.
I Agree with all of Entrophy3000's here -gets to the heart of the matter.
Either work to AROUSE your interest for the good man you have at home or let him go so he can experience passionate Love and devotion with another , someone who wants and desires him for HIM, what he has to offer a woman. I would never be able to remain in a near sexless marraige with once a month desire from my spouse.
And I got flack for saying this once on here, but in MY marriage, my body is his, his is mine, his taking pictures of me , and wanting to do that -- is not a violation to me. BUt we have amazing trust. This husband sounds of that type to me. NOt some manipulative cheater who gets his kicks -so he can go show these off to his friends or online in some quest to get his rocks off. SHe did not speak about him in any sort of light to give such an impression -as least from what I did read here. (not all pages-sorry).
This is an older thread, wonder what happened ???
He likely said nothing too her cause she is not sexually minded enough to UNDERSTAND HIM and his cravings, anyone who only needs sex once a month- simply does NOT "get" - can not comprehned a higher drive person, they think we are all MAD.
I think it's extremely wrong to take photos of you when your unaware.
My ex taped us one night while doing the deed. Luckily this was before the Internet. I was so violated that I never slept with him again. I ended up leaving due to his unfaithfulness and abuse.
Photographing and taping without knowledge is completely wrong. What he did is wrong and I would have a very hard time forgiving that. Sexually frustrated or not, this should of never happened!
My drive kicked in full gear a couple years after I turned 35, but my husband and I are very close and we are emotionally connected. We were in the past once a month or even less. I woke up and realized what I was doing. However, my husband would never ever disrespect me in this way.
This is actually a bit of an older thread - not sure the OP is around anymore.
But, sexual frustration does not give one the right to invade their spouse's privacy and personal space regarding their body without their consent.
Just because you're married doesn't mean that you don't have a right to some amount of personal privacy and it definitely means your spouse should have some respect for you - which a husband taking clandestine pictures of his wife while she's sleeping without ever asking -that's total disrespect of his wife. I guess I can see why she's found him an unattractive man if he's generally disrespectful of her.
She should have 'womaned up' and let him know right when she woke up that he was crossing a very personal boundary for her. I know I would not have been passive about my displeasure if I was in the same situation. I hope that she's had the courage to let him know that he violated her personal boundaries.
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Re: Husband taking pics while I am sleeping... 
Re: Husband taking pics while I am sleeping... 
