Reasons why a husband wants sex with his wife.....
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 03-28-2011, 08:15 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Reasons why a husband wants sex with his wife.....

So, I posted reasons why women don't want sex with their husbands and a solutions list to resolve this as well. Alot of women were curious why some men do not want sex with their wives but I would like to spin that from the negative and turn it more in to the positive. Call me the female Dan Savage. So ladies, if you see you are lacking in this list, this might be your key to a happier sex life.

To preface, these are 4 married men and one divorced man. 2 are happily married for over 12 years, 1 is unhappily married for 7 and another is divorced but in a serious 3 year relationship. The last is my BIL who is dealing with his wife's infidelity. Married 10 years and struggling. They often call me or email me for advice as I have known most of them for over 20 years and they are very close friends of my husband and yes he knows they all ask for advice.

So here goes in no particular order except number 1:

1. Love. They love you. They really do. They feel your love through sex. They feel the closeness and the connection. It isn't about the physical release, it is about the bond and it secures them in feeling your love for them.
2. Beauty. They think you are gorgeous. They appreciate that you take the time to take care of yourself and look good. They do view this as a reflection on them and thus feel you respect them by trying your best.
3. Stress. Sometimes no matter how much gaming they play, sex is the best relief for stress. Be it a tough day at work or something coming up, this calms them down.
4. Porn. They see things and want to try it out. It triggers a sensor and they are ready. They don't want you to be a porn star, they want you to be willing to try something different, within reason.
5. Infidelity. They want to restake their "claim" to you and want to do it often.
6. Promotion. A promotion can be a huge feather in his cap and he wants to feel love and appreciation from you. Go back to #1.
7. Job loss. Society puts so much pressure on men to be providers regardless if their wives work. A man without employment feels this. He needs to feel "manly" and sex provides this. This time is crucial.
8. Death. Losing a loved one can be very detrimental to a man. He feels his own mortality. Sex helps him feel immortal for a brief period of time.
9. Health. A man who has sex regularly lives longer and is at less risk for certain illnesses. Sure his hand can take care of that but a man who is happy and loves his partner lives years longer.
10. Thoughts of others. Most men have thoughts of others. They love the way their female co-worker laughs at their jokes and makes them feel good. They want you to do that. You are their world. Having regular sex ensures a continued bond and they are unlikely to stray if they feel you adore them.
11. Ego. Getting up to go to work knowing that last night your wife rocked your world is a huge ego boost to a man. Knowing he rocked your world is an even bigger one.
12. Becoming a Father. This is a HUGELY stressful time for a man. He often feels helpless and second class. The focus is around the baby and the new Mother and he often feels selfish for having needs. He does need to feel cherished and loved and that means sex, granted after a doctor has given the sign off.
13. He had an accident. Go back to #8 and #1.
14. You are stressed. They want to help you. They want to make you feel better. An orgasm would make you feel better in a mans mind.
15. Adoration. He adores you. He wants you. He in turn wants you to adore him. He wants to make love to you and only you. Go back to #1.

So there it is.

Last edited by Therealbrighteyes; 03-28-2011 at 10:14 PM.
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Old 03-28-2011, 08:58 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Reasons why a husband wants sex with his wife.....

LOVE IT - this may have been in there Brennan but I'll add - Reassurance that his love still finds him attractive, loves and accepts him; likes his partners ass or other parts, gets turned on; to feel good about himself; to brighten his day.
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Old 03-28-2011, 09:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Reasons why a husband wants sex with his wife.....

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LOVE IT - this may have been in there Brennan but I'll add - Reassurance that his love still finds him attractive, loves and accepts him; likes his partners ass or other parts, gets turned on; to feel good about himself; to brighten his day.
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Oh it's in there baby! Subtle but it is in there. 1 and 11.
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Old 03-28-2011, 09:24 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Reasons why a husband wants sex with his wife.....

The job loss one stands out for me. When Mr.G lost his job and was having difficulty finding employment, we made love all the time. I understood that he needed to feel that I still desired him.
We recently broke one of the wheels on our bed frame. ;-) I sent a racy email today to my husband and he mentioned the "high energy sessions."
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Old 03-28-2011, 09:36 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Reasons why a husband wants sex with his wife.....

That is a great list and very true!
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Old 03-29-2011, 02:29 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Reasons why a husband wants sex with his wife.....

I agree with all but 5 as my fiancee was cheated on by his ex he wanted nothing to do with her sexually.
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Old 03-29-2011, 05:31 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Reasons why a husband wants sex with his wife.....

Well, uh, feature complete I guess. Can't think of anything else. Only doubt about 5, but I never had her cheat on me, so dunno.
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Old 03-29-2011, 06:51 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Reasons why a husband wants sex with his wife.....

See...we really are very simple animals...easy to please!
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Old 03-29-2011, 09:06 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Reasons why a husband wants sex with his wife.....

Well done well stated, but as a male I might add one more please.
LUST a Husband won't always admitt it but it's pure and simple lust the male instint to take his women and have his way, what we might call cave man sex. Men need this every once in a while.
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Old 03-29-2011, 09:13 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Reasons why a husband wants sex with his wife.....

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See...we really are very simple animals...easy to please!
So basically morning, noon and night. Easy to please? Men are about as easy to please as women. We all have our issues.
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Old 03-29-2011, 09:16 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Reasons why a husband wants sex with his wife.....

Brennan,

Please start a thread with reasons why a wife wants sex with her husband! Mine is very basic. Love and desire!
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Old 03-29-2011, 09:19 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Reasons why a husband wants sex with his wife.....

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Brennan,

Please start a thread with reasons why a wife wants sex with her husband! Mine is very basic. Love and desire!
I think I have done enough lists. Apparently people do like my writing style though.
Eh, maybe next week.
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Old 03-29-2011, 09:22 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Reasons why a husband wants sex with his wife.....

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I think I have done enough lists. Apparently people do like my writing style though.
Eh, maybe next week.
The lists give people a lot to ponder!

My husband agrees with the lists you made too!

I know how to run my marriage, but I don't know how to give advice! Don't know how to achieve that skill!
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Old 03-29-2011, 10:19 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Reasons why a husband wants sex with his wife.....

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I agree with all but 5 as my fiancee was cheated on by his ex he wanted nothing to do with her sexually.
It depends on the person. I found out about my DW's A 3 months ago. Once I decided to work it out, all I want to do is "reclaim" what was mine.
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Old 03-29-2011, 10:47 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Reasons why a husband wants sex with his wife.....

I can tell you that #12 was a biggie and actually caused everything to go downhill on both sides, now there is no more #1 and everything is falling apart.
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