What is the best way to get your wife in the mood and to experiment
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 03-29-2011, 03:32 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default What is the best way to get your wife in the mood and to experiment

I used to be alot more comfortable with previous partners, but the one i love the most well is the one i married unfortunately we lack sexual chemistry and its one of the most frustrating things i have ever had to deal with. I feel like she want bend in bed. She seems to like it only a few ways, but i because she has seemed aggrivated it has made me hesitate on doing anything i really want to do. I love her more than anything. I am not perfect but i try real hard to get her to be comfortable. I believe when we first met she would have been and has been in the past more willing to let go and try to have some fun instead of just having sex for me. I just have never had rules in bed, and i feel like i don't ask to much. It goes alot further but i would write a book if i had time.
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Old 03-29-2011, 09:25 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the best way to get your wife in the mood and to experiment

The books are a dead hit in our bedroom, the things she reads comes to life! I hated when she was reading the vampire books-she drew blood 4-real!!
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Old 03-29-2011, 09:44 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I hated when she was reading the vampire books-she drew blood 4-real!!
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:16 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the best way to get your wife in the mood and to experiment

Bourbon.
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Old 03-30-2011, 03:24 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the best way to get your wife in the mood and to experiment

There are tons of books and websites (including more mainstream ones like Cosmopolitan and Men's Health) that list a different kind of sexual position each day... you could have her go through some of those and pick out her favorites. That way she's in charge of the experimentation.

Or, if she's REALLY conservative, you can start small, with some of the tamer games (or books) where the reward for winning your turn is having your spouse take off a piece of clothing, or one which randomizes what kind of action your spouse does on your body (I have a set of dice with verbs on one die and body parts on the other, for example). If you have the time one evening, and you can get her to commit to the idea before you start playing, you might be able to introduce the concept of experimentation a little more lightly.
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Old 03-30-2011, 03:33 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the best way to get your wife in the mood and to experiment

I find the times my wife is most sexual is when we are away on holiday somewhere ... just the two of us (no kids) in a romantic setting having spent a couple of days together.
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:11 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Bourbon.
Great minds, lol!
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Old 03-30-2011, 09:23 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the best way to get your wife in the mood and to experiment

Have you ever tried being aggressive/dominant with her? I am not talking about "positions", I am talking about setting a "tone" where it is very clear you are the aggressor and you are in charge.

Have you ever done that with anyone you dated? It takes some practice but many women really like that.

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I used to be alot more comfortable with previous partners, but the one i love the most well is the one i married unfortunately we lack sexual chemistry and its one of the most frustrating things i have ever had to deal with. I feel like she want bend in bed. She seems to like it only a few ways, but i because she has seemed aggrivated it has made me hesitate on doing anything i really want to do. I love her more than anything. I am not perfect but i try real hard to get her to be comfortable. I believe when we first met she would have been and has been in the past more willing to let go and try to have some fun instead of just having sex for me. I just have never had rules in bed, and i feel like i don't ask to much. It goes alot further but i would write a book if i had time.
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Old 03-31-2011, 07:50 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the best way to get your wife in the mood and to experiment

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I used to be alot more comfortable with previous partners, but the one i love the most well is the one i married unfortunately we lack sexual chemistry and its one of the most frustrating things i have ever had to deal with. I feel like she want bend in bed. She seems to like it only a few ways, but i because she has seemed aggrivated it has made me hesitate on doing anything i really want to do. I love her more than anything. I am not perfect but i try real hard to get her to be comfortable. I believe when we first met she would have been and has been in the past more willing to let go and try to have some fun instead of just having sex for me. I just have never had rules in bed, and i feel like i don't ask to much. It goes alot further but i would write a book if i had time.
I don't think that it starts with varying positions with someone who is very tame in bed. It starts with learning her sensitive areas (non sexual areas), the moods she responds to, impact of dominance on her, and even the way you hold her. My wife started out very shy and reserved in bed. There are areas I can kiss through a progression, and ways to hold her that simply drive her crazy in bed. You just don't get there in one session. I'm determined.

There also has to be a basic agreement that both partners will committ to a happy sexual relationship. We were fortunate that our premarital counselor was very firm in making us discuss this. If this hasn't been agreed upon, maybe counseling is a good idea, because our whole discussion was in a non-threatening way.

Last edited by Halien; 03-31-2011 at 08:02 AM.
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Old 03-31-2011, 07:56 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Have you ever tried being aggressive/dominant with her? I am not talking about "positions", I am talking about setting a "tone" where it is very clear you are the aggressor and you are in charge.

Have you ever done that with anyone you dated? It takes some practice but many women really like that.
Umm yes they sure do. If i feel my fiance is in charge of the situation and dominant I am very horny. Being a take charge guy outside the bedroom is very sexy too. But he is also caring.
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Old 04-02-2011, 03:31 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the best way to get your wife in the mood and to experiment

Syrum,
Great point. Being strong and dominant does not mean being insensitive or selfish. Ideally that strength and dominance is primarily shown through kindness and consideration.

On a night where my W comes home late from a hard day at work and dinner is ready we all eat together and afterwards she gets up to "clean" the kitchen - she often gets the command "sit, relax and read or channel surf". And I happily clean up while she gets to chill. There is no difference in my "tone" when I am doing the "servant leader" thing than when we are in the bedroom. When you do it right sometimes it is all about her, sometimes all about us, and every once in a while it is all about me.









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Umm yes they sure do. If i feel my fiance is in charge of the situation and dominant I am very horny. Being a take charge guy outside the bedroom is very sexy too. But he is also caring.
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Old 04-02-2011, 07:02 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the best way to get your wife in the mood and to experiment

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Umm yes they sure do. If i feel my fiance is in charge of the situation and dominant I am very horny. Being a take charge guy outside the bedroom is very sexy too. But he is also caring.
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Old 04-03-2011, 08:04 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the best way to get your wife in the mood and to experiment

Cosmo subscription? It's sold at grocery stores, so it's not too intimidating!
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Old 04-10-2011, 02:40 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the best way to get your wife in the mood and to experiment

Get her drunk and talk to her about what you want to try or break out some adult movies and get her to mimic whats on the screen.
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