Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Could you say no if you wanted to, though? If you dont get sex does it control your emotions? Do you hide it? When i was having issues with my H my sex drive was running my life- and my attitude. I find it completely liberating that Im in control of my sexual appetite now. My H can say he doesnt want sex and I dont turn into a mean, bitter person that's desperately trying to satiate my need. Dont get me wrong, i still have the need, but it doesnt control me anymore.
Depends on length of time. Won't lie 2 or 3 days without getting off does get me crabby, but I don't need porn to choke the chicken. I can just as easily think of having sex with my wife and go at it. If it was not for the A I would NEVER turn down sex with my wife.
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"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?"
i think you are right about the porn and novel comparison except for 1 HUGE difference...
the novels dont actually exploit real people.
Exploit real people? Sure some of the trashy, "amateur" Russian girl stuff might. But some of the big named porn stars get paid pretty dam good money. If you want to get high and mighty like then don't buy anything made in another country.
__________________
"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?"
I grew up with all kinds of porn but then 12 years ago I started going to church. OMG they convinced me that it was all bad and something to be scared of. It wasn't until the argument I had the other night with my dh over trashy romance novels that I started to question what I really believed.
I came to the conclusion that porn wasn't anything to be feared. The women aren't being exploited (they willingly chose that profession and are paid well). And romance novels ARE porn. They are there for the purpose of stimulating women and are very graphic.
I'm tired of living my life in fear. If my husband wanted to look at porn I'd support that. If it got out of hand I'd deal with it then but not a minute before.
Exploit real people? Sure some of the trashy, "amateur" Russian girl stuff might. But some of the big named porn stars get paid pretty dam good money. If you want to get high and mighty like then don't buy anything made in another country.
i dont need any of it. i have an imagination and get plenty from my girl when ever i get to see her.
otherwise there is web-cam with my girl and my own pics of her, so i dont buy or watch anything from ANY country.
not being high and mighty, just dont need it.
and yes, plenty of women are exploited, even from the big name american companies.
i dont need any of it. i have an imagination and get plenty from my girl when ever i get to see her.
otherwise there is web-cam with my girl and my own pics of her, so i dont buy or watch anything from ANY country.
not being high and mighty, just dont need it.
and yes, plenty of women are exploited, even from the big name american companies.
Tell me something as I am very curious to know.....I understand you don't NEED it - I see you are engaged to Syrum and enjoy "doing her'. I take it you are not strict Christians by faith so why the disdain for others enjoying a little porn?
Is this all about women being exploited, you feel all women in porn are being taken against their will somehow, pretty girls with perfect bodies have no other choices in life?
We don't NEED it either, we just happen to LIKE it - and choose to ENJOY it. So we are exploiters in your view, not sinners, just exploiters??
Tell me something as I am very curious to know.....I understand you don't NEED it - I see you are engaged to Syrum and enjoy "doing her'. I take it you are not strict Christians by faith so why the disdain for others enjoying a little porn?
Is this all about women being exploited, you feel all women in porn are being taken against their will somehow, pretty girls with perfect bodies have no other choices in life?
We don't NEED it either, we just happen to LIKE it - and choose to ENJOY it. So we are exploiters in your view, not sinners, just exploiters??
Firstly, I would say, it's not that we have never watched porn and I'm very sure my fiance has watched more then me.
This was all addressed in the porn thread a while back, however i will attempt to address some of the questions.
Yes the women in mainstream American porn are exploited.
- Compared to the companies they work in they earn very little money.
- Most of the women in porn come from poor socioeconomic backgrounds. So it stands to reason if women love making porn so much why don't rich women line up to do it also?
- Most of the women in porn have been sexually abused.
- most of the women are very young (and this is of concern because we know now that brain does not fully develope untill people are well into their 20's, this makes risk taking much more likely).
- Most of the women in porn are on drugs or are pressured into taking drugs, because most people in the business will admit it's an awful business to be in and it helps keep the girls coming and back and "performing"
- women are often raped, coerced and abused in the making of American mainstream porn.
-women in porn are pressured to have plastic surgery.
-Porn is bad for men, porn is the junk food of sex, it is no substitute for the real thing.
-even small amounts have been shown to change men's brains and they way they view women and lessen men's empathy for women
-Studies show men who view porn regularly, feel their own sex lives are lacking, they also measure their SO's against the women in porn and feel more dissatisfied in bed and with the looks of their girl if they watch regular porn.
- the women in porn are real people, they really made that movie and had sex, they are not one dimensional sex robots, by watching porn you are bringing another real person into your sex life, even if you don't want to see it that way.
- Half of all traficked women end up in the sex industry (stripping, prostitution and porn) if you do any of those things it's highly likely you have encountered modern day slavery.
I choose not to partake in activities where women are exploited. today people are so selfish and it's all about ME ME ME, and what feels good in the moment. There is a lot to be said for human compassion, and empathy, and taking the time to look at the broader implications of things and how we treat women as a society. My orgasm does not trump other peoples human rights.
One last thing, it's never Ok to buy and sell people, they are human beings not commodities. This is very important to me.
I have more to say, but that's all I can think of in this moment.
Yes, medical intervention would be necessary for a woman to stop her period. I doubt the same could be said for porn. It was an interesting albeit hilarious comparision.
Firstly, I would say, it's not that we have never watched porn and I'm very sure my fiance has watched more then me.
This was all addressed in the porn thread a while back, however i will attempt to address some of the questions.
Yes the women in mainstream American porn are exploited.
- Compared to the companies they work in they earn very little money.
- Most of the women in porn come from poor socioeconomic backgrounds. So it stands to reason if women love making porn so much why don't rich women line up to do it also?
- Most of the women in porn have been sexually abused.
- most of the women are very young (and this is of concern because we know now that brain does not fully develope untill people are well into their 20's, this makes risk taking much more likely).
- Most of the women in porn are on drugs or are pressured into taking drugs, because most people in the business will admit it's an awful business to be in and it helps keep the girls coming and back and "performing"
- women are often raped, coerced and abused in the making of American mainstream porn.
-women in porn are pressured to have plastic surgery.
-Porn is bad for men, porn is the junk food of sex, it is no substitute for the real thing.
-even small amounts have been shown to change men's brains and they way they view women and lessen men's empathy for women
-Studies show men who view porn regularly, feel their own sex lives are lacking, they also measure their SO's against the women in porn and feel more dissatisfied in bed and with the looks of their girl if they watch regular porn.
- the women in porn are real people, they really made that movie and had sex, they are not one dimensional sex robots, by watching porn you are bringing another real person into your sex life, even if you don't want to see it that way.
- Half of all traficked women end up in the sex industry (stripping, prostitution and porn) if you do any of those things it's highly likely you have encountered modern day slavery.
I choose not to partake in activities where women are exploited. today people are so selfish and it's all about ME ME ME, and what feels good in the moment. There is a lot to be said for human compassion, and empathy, and taking the time to look at the broader implications of things and how we treat women as a society. My orgasm does not trump other peoples human rights.
One last thing, it's never Ok to buy and sell people, they are human beings not commodities. This is very important to me.
I have more to say, but that's all I can think of in this moment.
Amen Sister! -just because we don't see, feel or are directly affected by the exploitation, doesn't mean that enjoying that exploitation is not wrong because it is.
Amen Sister! -just because we don't see, feel or are directly affected by the exploitation, doesn't mean that enjoying that exploitation is not wrong because it is.
So true, and thank you Trenton. I all ways read everything you have to say with great interest, because you are very well written, very interesting and empathetic in your responses to people. So thank you!
I grew up with all kinds of porn but then 12 years ago I started going to church. OMG they convinced me that it was all bad and something to be scared of. It wasn't until the argument I had the other night with my dh over trashy romance novels that I started to question what I really believed.
I came to the conclusion that porn wasn't anything to be feared. The women aren't being exploited (they willingly chose that profession and are paid well). And romance novels ARE porn. They are there for the purpose of stimulating women and are very graphic.
I'm tired of living my life in fear. If my husband wanted to look at porn I'd support that. If it got out of hand I'd deal with it then but not a minute before.
Glad that you came to that conclusion. I feel the same way; porn is nothing to be insecure about unless it is replacing marital sex. There is a small segment of the sex industry that engages in pedophilia and forced prostitution. Posted via Mobile Device
I grew up with all kinds of porn but then 12 years ago I started going to church. OMG they convinced me that it was all bad and something to be scared of. It wasn't until the argument I had the other night with my dh over trashy romance novels that I started to question what I really believed.
I came to the conclusion that porn wasn't anything to be feared. The women aren't being exploited (they willingly chose that profession and are paid well). And romance novels ARE porn. They are there for the purpose of stimulating women and are very graphic.
I'm tired of living my life in fear. If my husband wanted to look at porn I'd support that. If it got out of hand I'd deal with it then but not a minute before.
I am guessing you have never worked in porn. Yes, they might have "willingly" chosen it but none and I mean none of them had the upbringing that would support a healthier line of work. Sexual abuse, incest, drug addiction to overcome their past, etc., is the norm among most female porn "stars". As for the money, that is debatable. Sure, $100k if you are lucky for 28 films during the year with retakes and such that last hours. Would you want a 2 hour anal sex session? I doubt it. It isn't easy money, that's for sure.
Romance novels is the same as porn? That is a writer who types out a novel of fictitious people for the sake of getting women hot and horny. Porn is real people with real lives and all their issues and further exploits them in the most graphic way.
Firstly, I would say, it's not that we have never watched porn and I'm very sure my fiance has watched more then me.
This was all addressed in the porn thread a while back, however i will attempt to address some of the questions.
As I say below I worked my way up when replying, but did you get your info from like 10+ years ago? and from what "Statistics"?
Yes the women in mainstream American porn are exploited.
- Compared to the companies they work in they earn very little money. NO KIDDING! Name any exception to this? Care salesmen, retail, bartender, even movie stars make small fractions of what the company makes.
- Most of the women in porn come from poor socioeconomic backgrounds. So it stands to reason if women love making porn so much why don't rich women line up to do it also? I agree with this one, but you use what mama gave you.
- Most of the women in porn have been sexually abused. More then likely, but define that? If you are saying on the job rough sex....yeah its there job, off camera? maybe, as I say below later on (doing this backwards) I doubt the big, big production companies would allow that.
- most of the women are very young (and this is of concern because we know now that brain does not fully develope untill people are well into their 20's, this makes risk taking much more likely). This I agree with. But at the same time I see plenty of porn stars who go on and make porn well into there 40s, by then there brain is devolped and should be able to make wiser choices, a big example (and big business women) jesse jameson
- Most of the women in porn are on drugs or are pressured into taking drugs, because most people in the business will admit it's an awful business to be in and it helps keep the girls coming and back and "performing" Peer pressure again? maybe maybe not yet again I doubt the mainstream (bigger companies) do this, maybe they do....but unless they are tying the girls down they still have the option of no.
- women are often raped, coerced and abused in the making of American mainstream porn. I would like to see proof of this to any of the big names out right now (a few examples, bang brothers, Naughty america, reality kings, freeones.) It sounds like this could whole issue could be like food. Dont like how factory farms raise there cows? dont buy meat from them.
-women in porn are pressured to have plastic surgery. And Barbie pressured girls to be all skinny, big boobed, blonde, and long legged....I see romantic novels and I am pressured to take steroids to look like the guys on the cover.
-Porn is bad for men, porn is the junk food of sex, it is no substitute for the real thing. No kidding, agree with most people here that guys that are porn addicts need help. I would give anything to have sex as often a I watch porn. But until some issues are resolved that won't happen
-even small amounts have been shown to change men's brains and they way they view women and lessen men's empathy for women Talk about being generalized in an opinion.
-Studies show men who view porn regularly, feel their own sex lives are lacking, they also measure their SO's against the women in porn and feel more dissatisfied in bed and with the looks of their girl if they watch regular porn.
Maybe some men do, but talk about a generalization. I would much rather have my wife then porn, but when I don't get it, or its that time of the month, porn it is.
- the women in porn are real people, they really made that movie and had sex, they are not one dimensional sex robots, by watching porn you are bringing another real person into your sex life, even if you don't want to see it that way. HAHAHA What? give me a break. That so far fetch its crazy
- Half of all traficked women end up in the sex industry (stripping, prostitution and porn) if you do any of those things it's highly likely you have encountered modern day slavery. And trafficking is wrong as all hell. And though I agree a lot of the porn out there does involve that, I assure A good majority from the bigger names do not.
I choose not to partake in activities where women are exploited. today people are so selfish and it's all about ME ME ME, and what feels good in the moment. There is a lot to be said for human compassion, and empathy, and taking the time to look at the broader implications of things and how we treat women as a society. My orgasm does not trump other peoples human rights.
One last thing, it's never Ok to buy and sell people, they are human beings not commodities. This is very important to me.
I have more to say, but that's all I can think of in this moment.
__________________
"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?"
Am i just reading into this or have you worked in the porn industry?
I did one film when I was 19. I have posted about this here. My scenes were deleted as I was not "performance material" i.e cried.
It isn't a pretty industry and anybody who thinks it is and that the women love it and the money is awesome is delusional.
Re: Porn Perception 
It was an interesting albeit hilarious comparision.
