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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » My husband has a problem with orgasms

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 04-11-2011, 05:27 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband has a problem with orgasms

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Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous View Post
There is something called "Tantra Sex" that does NOT focus on Orgasms, something we have been taught & retaught & expected in all of our encounters with ease.

Amazon books : Amazon.com: tantra sex
I read this book after my divorce, while sitting around wondering if I'd ever have another orgasm. I was taking SSRI medications and in intense therapy in recovery from a very unhappy, marriage. The SSRIs both cut back my sex drive, AND made it nearly impossible to orgasm normally. I was horrified to think about what was in store for me. I intended to taper off the SSRIs, but had read that the side effects may continue for quite some time. (And they didů). I have no doubt the SSRIs actually saved my life, but I had a bit of a problem.

I read the book, and was able to call upon the techniques when I started dating the woman that became my new wife.

The tantric-inspired shared breathing, close hugs, intimate massages were, IMHO, some of the MOST erotic things I've ever encountered. As we simply hugged, face to face, and slowly breathed in and out together, sharing the warm air and aromas as we ever so slowly inhaled with our noses, I was amazed at how intimate the experience was. I have NO doubt that the process was incredibly important for our bonding, and involved exchanging tons of pheromones. I remember the first night we spent together staring at each other and asking "What just happened?"

It was months before I actually experienced an orgasm, and this was months after I quit the SSRIs. I am still at having a rate of around 20%, if I were to actually waste time counting.

The tantric techniques, and a wonderfully understanding, no pressure lover, made me really cherish the entire time we spend together intimately. And when we DO have an orgasm, the build up makes them mind-blowing and the most intense ever.

I don't receive a commission on this book, but I do recommend it highly.
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Old 04-13-2011, 08:54 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband has a problem with orgasms

Thank you I will definitely check it out. Now my to do list includes:

get hubby to the dr

get the book

and no pressure

Got it!
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Old 07-24-2013, 05:08 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Unhappy Re: My husband has a problem with orgasms

My husband and I have always had a fantastic sexual relationship! We have been married for going on 39 years...we are still very sexually active....in the last couple of days, he has been unable to have an orgasm...no problem with ED, but he did see blood yesterday. Is this something that is temporary, or should he be seeing a doctor?
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Old 07-24-2013, 08:39 PM   #34 (permalink)
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Thank you I will definitely check it out. Now my to do list includes:

get hubby to the dr

get the book

and no pressure

Got it!
I have had the same issue. I'd say I come about 50% of the time I have sex with my wife. She comes pretty much every time and I still enjoy it whether I reach orgasm or not.

For me it is physical. Often I'm just tired or stressed. Sometimes I think it could be a position issue. My wife is very shy sexually and only likes the lazy doggy position. While I like this position I feel as though it doesn't always stimulate the most sensitive area. Can't really explain it other than the fricton doesn't hit the perfect spot.

I don't know if another position would solve this issue but my wife is not big on new positions. Certainly might be worth trying out with your hubby though, a new position might get him off better.

Also is it possible he masturbates a lot (perhaps without you knowing)? That can certainly effect the ability to come if he is coming a lot on his own.
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Old 07-24-2013, 08:42 PM   #35 (permalink)
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My husband and I have always had a fantastic sexual relationship! We have been married for going on 39 years...we are still very sexually active....in the last couple of days, he has been unable to have an orgasm...no problem with ED, but he did see blood yesterday. Is this something that is temporary, or should he be seeing a doctor?
Probably an obvious answer but yeah he should see a doctor.
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Old 07-27-2013, 01:43 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband has a problem with orgasms

My partner also has difficulty with orgasm, during sex anyway. He has sensory issues and can become overstimulated and this becomes a block for him. We can both also go for a very long time but I think this makes the problem worse, although he assures me he's having a great time. He very rarely finishes inside me and more often than not I help him to cum with him masturbating himself and me doing whatever seems fun at the time. It was an issue for him to let him see me like that for a long time, but I reassured him I found it sexy and it was not a chore at all, which is true. There have been times when he hasn't cum at all, and I've been more upset than he has, in fact he wasn't upset at all. The bottom line is that I know he has difficulty in this area, I encourage him, don't pressurise him and but I help him to achieve orgasm in any way I can and most of the time it works. Over 5 years I think there's only been 2/3 occasions when it didn't work out. Perhaps you could try our method, if it's something both of you feel you could do or find some other way to ramp things up?

By the way, I'm sure he doesn't know beforehand whether it's going to be one of those times, otherwise why would he initiate?
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Old 07-28-2013, 05:09 AM   #37 (permalink)
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Question Re: My husband has a problem with orgasms

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Originally Posted by zoku32 View Post
No, he isn't on any meds and yes, he is circumsiced.

Thanks for all the positive comments. I really needed to hear that. I just hope this isn't leading to a life of bad sex. I'm more of a 5-10 minuter and he is more of a 30 minuter or more. My body can't handle all that.
Hmmm, I'm not certain who has the problem here. You cant make love for 30 minutes? Maybe you should see a gynecologist?

And chastising him for a going longer than your 5 minute target without finishing is poison. Stop that immediately.
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Old 07-28-2013, 06:29 AM   #38 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband has a problem with orgasms

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Opiate pain meds can make a guy go and go and go, but he is not feeling it enough to have an orgasm. Same happens to women.
this is true for me. dose he watch a lot of prom? is there variety in the bedroom. do you give oral? like different positions etc.


I sometime can't orgasm. so not all men orgasm every time .
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Old 07-29-2013, 10:18 AM   #39 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband has a problem with orgasms

Zombie thread guys so replying to OP is probably useless.

Blood in seminal fluid is usually prostate issue (not a dr but I have prostate issues).

I'd be willing to bet that a lot of women have problems when sex lasts 30 minutes. My wife has never said anything but I can tell PIV for that long starts to hurt.
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