Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Please help - developing dislike of doing oral sex due to taste and texture
My husband and I have been working on me swallowing and I am begining to dread doing oral sex on him because I keep thinking about the taste, texture, temperature of semen. I read a number of tips on the Internet, and books. Nothing has worked. Then in the last couple of weeks I began to think about the thinngs I did not like and felt I wanted to avoid doing it. I brought a book on meditation to try to overcome the reluctance but it did not help.
I do not want this to get out of hand so I am asking for some advice from women who have experienced this and overcome the problem.
The exact problem is that the thichness of semen, it seems to stick in my mouth for a long time, tried mints, brushing before. The taste - tried diet, different flavored lubes, I just developed a distaste for the lube. There is nothing to be done about temp unless I freeze my H. I was thinking of trying a condom but I read that some men are sensitive to their woman seeming to dislike their penis so I would only do this as a last resort and after discussion with him.
Any suggestion would be greatly appreciated. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: Plead help - develping dislike of doing oral sex due to taste and texture
Sorry honey. I don't have any helpful advice. Its not my favorite meal, but I will eat it for supper every now and again LOL. If I run across anything I will be sure to let you know!
Re: Plead help - develping dislike of doing oral sex due to taste and texture
Thank you for the responses. Dawn, I like the idea of an ultra thin condom for now. I need to do something to remove this anxiety ASAP so it does not become deep seated. And your husbands understanding is encouraging. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: Plead help - develping dislike of doing oral sex due to taste and texture
Catherine,
Is it really that important to him that you do this.
Have you tried spitting into a towel instead of swallowing.
I love oral but when personally I far prefer to "finish" having straight sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine602
My husband and I have been working on me swallowing and I am begining to dread doing oral sex on him because I keep thinking about the taste, texture, temperature of semen. I read a number of tips on the Internet, and books. Nothing has worked. Then in the last couple of weeks I began to think about the thinngs I did not like and felt I wanted to avoid doing it. I brought a book on meditation to try to overcome the reluctance but it did not help.
I do not want this to get out of hand so I am asking for some advice from women who have experienced this and overcome the problem.
The exact problem is that the thichness of semen, it seems to stick in my mouth for a long time, tried mints, brushing before. The taste - tried diet, different flavored lubes, I just developed a distaste for the lube. There is nothing to be done about temp unless I freeze my H. I was thinking of trying a condom but I read that some men are sensitive to their woman seeming to dislike their penis so I would only do this as a last resort and after discussion with him.
Any suggestion would be greatly appreciated. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: Plead help - develping dislike of doing oral sex due to taste and texture
MEM I never considered asking him how important it is or if there is some compromise that would please him. I have no problem with finishing but, it is the semen in my mouth that's the problem. I never explored or we never discussed how important it is him. I need to do that. Maybe if I let him know that I am having a problem with developing a phobia he will understand and we can compromise. I do use a towel to spit.
I read of so many men who are deeply dissatisfied because their partner does not like to have semen in the mouth that I thought it was important. The men don't seem to say anything so I have a feeling that even if he understood it would bother him on some level. I'll will talk to him with the aim of finding out how important it is before I say I am having a problem. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: Plead help - develping dislike of doing oral sex due to taste and texture
Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine602
I read of so many men who are deeply dissatisfied because their partner does not like to have semen in the mouth that I thought it was important. The men don't seem to say anything so I have a feeling that even if he understood it would bother him on some level. I'll will talk to him with the aim of finding out how important it is before I say I am having a problem.
Give yourself a pat on the back for coming this far.
I would think your husband would want you come to him with this IF/when it gets too much, and you are dreading the experience. Not that you have to open up about that just yet though! Do open the sexual lines of communicaton to gauge how important these things are to him though , also throw in your feelings about what you might want to try - maybe ending more sessions in another position for you both to enjoy.
From all you have said about him, he will be more than happy to accompany your wishes if this becomes a problem for you. I am sure he desires your pleasure as well in all of these things.
Sex is one of these things , I think the act itself is LESS important than feeling your partner wants to be there with you, doing it. Without a talk soon, he may pick up on it too-it is not something we can hide for very long. Is there anything more "intimate" in life ?
I love doing it- but 95% of the time, we finish in another position. My husband only gets about 1 or 2 finishes a month & that is when I am out for the count. Swallowig means nothnig to him. Keep a handy wipe near by. I just get up & spit. He is just laying here in ecstasy, he could care less.
Re: Plead help - develping dislike of doing oral sex due to taste and texture
Catherine,
Sex is not only about his pleasure, it is about your pleasure too.
If it is bothering you, you have to tell him honestly, just tell him what is bothering you and two of you can work out a solution.
I become dizzy after I swallow, I tell my husband right away, my husband appreciates me even more that I will still swallow but we are working together to solve the problem, now I only swallow right before we go to bed, I fall asleep right away, so it doesn't bother me.
I hate the taste and smell of the semen, I told him right away the first time we tried it, I even asked him to try to taste or smell it. Of course he wouldn't. So when I swallow, I lie down, he makes sure that he doesn't shoot on my tongue, he shoots in my throat, a few seconds of shooting, and finish, after that, my husband gets juice or fruit for me, and no taste leaves.
They like the feeling of domineering. The fun is more emotional than physical. I get my husband very excited by licking him after he shoots, I think it is very sensitive after he cums.
Since swallowing is not much fun for me, we do it not often, once a month the most. But I still do, I let my husband know I will do, just to let him know that he will get his fun, but not often. He doesn't want it too often either. He said special event should keep it less often, then it is special.
And ask him to eat more fruit, a man's diet can change his smell and flavor too!
Re: Plead help - develping dislike of doing oral sex due to taste and texture
I only recently began swallowing and I think the excitement for my husband is that I can suck tight, let go, suck tight...etc. allowing him to really enjoy the full orgasm.
Having said this, I don't like the taste, temperature or texture either! I will only do it every now and then (maybe a few times a month or so).
The alternative that I had done for years was the gentle pushing it out of my mouth while continuing to suck in between pushing it out of my mouth.
Either way, I enjoy the pleasure he gets from it. After the first time he actually told me thank you as if he had really just received a gift.
Still, if you don't feel comfortable with it. I say don't do it and find an alternative or have a conversation about it.
Re: Plead help - develping dislike of doing oral sex due to taste and texture
Catherine,
This is my guess:
- He will be very grateful you have made such a big effort to get "there" for him
- He won't want you to keep doing this
IF you are doing this on a night where you cannot finish with intercourse, and you get him to teach you how, likely you can finish the very end with a highly skilled handjob and it will still feel really good to him. Saliva can act as a lubricant - which makes the hand job feel better, or you can put some on for the finale.
I am betting on your H having a much more supportive reaction to this than you might expect.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine602
MEM I never considered asking him how important it is or if there is some compromise that would please him. I have no problem with finishing but, it is the semen in my mouth that's the problem. I never explored or we never discussed how important it is him. I need to do that. Maybe if I let him know that I am having a problem with developing a phobia he will understand and we can compromise. I do use a towel to spit.
I read of so many men who are deeply dissatisfied because their partner does not like to have semen in the mouth that I thought it was important. The men don't seem to say anything so I have a feeling that even if he understood it would bother him on some level. I'll will talk to him with the aim of finding out how important it is before I say I am having a problem. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: Plead help - develping dislike of doing oral sex due to taste and texture
My wife just couldn't get to that point, and when I realized how hard she was trying, I told her to avoid it. That's my point. Most guys would be incredibly appreciative of you trying, but it doesn't have to be swallowed. I'll have to admit, though, that when she loses herself, she'll still do it, but its completely her call.
Of course, it seems very easy for her to divert my attention elsewhere... She knows the right words and gestures to make it natural to shift to something else. I mean, a lot of us like to finish more aggressively when those triggers are awakened.
Re: Plead help - develping dislike of doing oral sex due to taste and texture
Catherine.... a wife giving her husband oral sex is very important to the man....letting him cum in your mouth is the 'icing on the cake'. However I can understand that it might not taste or feel very pleasant.
Maybe tell your husband that you realise how much he enjoys it and that you really want to give him that pleasure etc but that you really can't bare him cumming in your mouth.
Reach a compromise....you'll give him a BJ but you want him to come either on your face or on your tit$...
If my wife ever gave me a bj, I'd love to finish in her mouth...but cumming all over her tit$ or face cums a very close second!!!
Unfortunately my wife has never given me a BJ...infact I'm lucky to get anything more than once a month!!
Catherine - hope you work it out and agree on something that you BOTH like and are happy with...
Re: Plead help - develping dislike of doing oral sex due to taste and texture
off topic but I am assuming sex more then once a month.
R you guying working or talking it out?
Quote:
Originally Posted by jezza
Catherine.... a wife giving her husband oral sex is very important to the man....letting him cum in your mouth is the 'icing on the cake'. However I can understand that it might not taste or feel very pleasant.
Maybe tell your husband that you realise how much he enjoys it and that you really want to give him that pleasure etc but that you really can't bare him cumming in your mouth.
Reach a compromise....you'll give him a BJ but you want him to come either on your face or on your tit$...
If my wife ever gave me a bj, I'd love to finish in her mouth...but cumming all over her tit$ or face cums a very close second!!!
Unfortunately my wife has never given me a BJ...infact I'm lucky to get anything more than once a month!!
Catherine - hope you work it out and agree on something that you BOTH like and are happy with...
Re: Plead help - develping dislike of doing oral sex due to taste and texture
Tell your H to eat more sugary things and/or fruit, it will help with the taste. My H has always eaten a ton of sugar, recently he has cut back on the sugar and there is a huge difference.