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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 04-11-2011, 10:20 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: I don't want to have sex with my husband anymore

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I can't argue with you on that (that he's not giving you anything to respect). So how is he supporting himself if he's moved out and doesn't have a job? I know this is off topic for the "Sex In Marriage" forum, but I'd likely let him deal with things on his own, and you concentrate on yourself and the kids. Let him realize that he needs to make some changes, as he's the only one that can decide to change himself.

C
I believe he went to his parents house. I have tried to explain how I feel to him but he won't listen. He won't talk to me anymore. I have text him 4 long texts further explaining, maybe more in his language, his phone is turned off. I can do nothing but sit and wait i guess. He has left me with no money (he took all thats in the bank account) i will have to ask my parents for money to get to work until my next payday.
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Old 04-11-2011, 10:21 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: I don't want to have sex with my husband anymore

I could see myself turning into your husband if my Wife didnt want sex for 3 years..
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Old 04-11-2011, 10:24 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: I don't want to have sex with my husband anymore

he took all the money in the bank account? I'm assuming this is a joint bank account, if so you have just as much right to that money as he does, he needs to be held accountable for his actions.
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Old 04-11-2011, 10:25 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Default Re: I don't want to have sex with my husband anymore

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My job is part time, doesn't offer insurance. When he lost his job he lost the families insurance.
Ahh ok I understand.
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Old 04-11-2011, 03:21 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Default Re: I don't want to have sex with my husband anymore

Tool: Looks like sort of missed the point. Would you want to have sex with your wife if she gained 50lbs is depressed, stopped brushing her teeth and taking care of other basic hygeine issues?

To OP: There are free couseling options in just about any city. You just need to look a little harder. I'd suggest even if your husband doesent want to go that you avail yourself of these services. They may help you help him.

About 3 years ago my wife very directly told me that the reason she did not want to have sex with me was that I had gotten fat. My being fat also led me to be a bit depressed and I withdrew from life quite a bit. All a big turn off for a woman. She said flat out that she would not stay married to me if I did not care about how this was affecting OUR LIVES. She made me understand that I was harming our marriagen, in a very selfish way, by not being the active/athletic person that she married. We had stopped doing all the fun things that we both loved but I was either too out of shape to do or to embarrased to do. It was like a slap in the face........And I thank the stars that she did it. We got into counseling,straightend some things out and I got off my butt. We saved our marriage and she saved my life.

I give my example because (forgive me my fellow men) ...........sometimes we need a very direct approach to "get it". Oh and your H is trying to have a pity party with the "I cant be with someone who does not respect me" crap. How the hell can he be with himself then. Sounds to me that the one that disrespects him the most is himself.

I think you just need to grab him by the shoulders,look into his eyes,and tell him Time to get ourselves some help bubba. Then tell him how excited you are to get the process started to get your man back. I think he may just thank you sooner that later.

JMHO
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Old 04-11-2011, 04:08 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Default Re: I don't want to have sex with my husband anymore

I realize your post wasn't directed to me, but I hope you don't mind my two cents. If my wife gained 50 lbs (which she has), or let her appearance slip, I'd still have regular sex with her whether I absolutely felt like it or not. I'm her husband. I didn't sign on to be her husband only on the days I naturally felt like it.
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Old 04-11-2011, 04:18 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Default Re: I don't want to have sex with my husband anymore

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I realize your post wasn't directed to me, but I hope you don't mind my two cents. If my wife gained 50 lbs (which she has), or let her appearance slip, I'd still have regular sex with her whether I absolutely felt like it or not. I'm her husband. I didn't sign on to be her husband only on the days I naturally felt like it.
You'd still have sex with her if she stopped brushing her teeth, had a bush the size of texas, leg hair longer than yours and an armpit full of curly Qs?

It's odd to me that some want this to be her issue. Even though she's not attracted to this man who doesn't care about her pleasure, she's still supposed to spread her legs and be a good wife? Sure, she was born with a vagina. That does NOT mean her sexual needs are less than his. In addition to his lack of grooming, the man refuses to get a job. She essentially has a grown child. Would you want to have sex with a grown child!?!
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Old 04-11-2011, 10:16 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Default Re: I don't want to have sex with my husband anymore

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I could see myself turning into your husband if my Wife didnt want sex for 3 years..
You're kidding right? Gaining 50 lbs in 3 years, not brushing his teeth or bathing in a week and practically raping her in her sleep? He sounds like a real catch.
It never fails to amaze me reading that when a woman gains that much weight she is repulsive and to be brought to a gym but when a man does it, a woman is supposed to fall in to his sweaty sack. Wow.
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Old 04-11-2011, 10:42 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Default Re: I don't want to have sex with my husband anymore

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You'd still have sex with her if she stopped brushing her teeth, had a bush the size of texas, leg hair longer than yours and an armpit full of curly Qs?
No. No Werewolves No Wookies. And allow me to add I held my wife's bald head over the toilet while she threw up from chemotherapy. I bathed her. I helped her go to the bathroom. Im not squeamish. But, get your **** together, please.
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