Re: I don't want to have sex with my husband anymore
If his current standard of hygiene is wildly beneath his former standards, there's a reason. People don't generally stop caring for themselves without an explanation. Could be he's suffering from depression. Same thing goes for his approach to sex. If he always just "went for it" in the middle of the night, then this is the guy you married. If this is a departure from his normal modus operandi, there's a reason. Could be he hits you up for sex when you're at your weakest and most vulnerable because he fears or knows that approaching you at other times won't work. The fact that you say you have no interest in sex makes me suspect this may be the case. A huge part of a man's motivation stems from sex, so if he's been systematically rejected, he might feel there's little reason to make himself attractive.
I think the solution is to change this cycle. Toss him a bone. Before going to bed, smooch on him a little, tell him if he hops in the shower and brushes, he's gonna get something great and then follow through. Reward the behavior you want. When he wakes you for sex, tell him you're not a machine and go back to sleep. Don't reward undesirable behavior. Sane people don't persist in a course of conduct without receiving some pay-off.