Re: Just Not Interested...
Would you be willing to answer some questions to provide details that may help get at the problem? I think you came to ask the question because you are not sure that your thinking is quite right. You may get some criticism but take it stride there are many men suffering the misery of a marriage in which his wife expresses what you are expressing. So they read what you write here and they can not be in any way sympathetic. But I think there are some women who can at lest help you to realize what you are doing to the man who is your husband.
Did you at any time enjoy sex with him when not drinking; does he touch you in was that you need to be touched; do you orgasm; do you love your husband? What does loving him mean to you? You said he want to feel good what did you mean, ho does he express the need for sex and how do you interpret what he means.
Can I ask if you were aware that when a man a good man falls in love, he maintains the emotional connection with his wife through having sex with her? It is the result of a brain chemical that floods the brain after sex and causes bonding to the partner. Sometimes sex is just to get off for men but when they select a woman and fall in love and to commit they maintain the love and connection through regular sex. Men whose wives refuse sex, get depresses, feel unloved loved and are convinced their wives do not love them.
This is how it is. Every single study on men and sexuality confirms this and men themselves express despair when their wives reject them. You can read post on this forum from men who express this despair. If you accept and understand that this is true, how do you feel about sex with your husband. What do think you husband should do if he is in emotional distress about you decision that you don't want to have sex? Would you consider letting him go so he can find a women to love and connect with him so he is not distressed. You certainly have a right not to have sex with your husband but your husband will not be the only one to suffer the consequences of your decision. You will too, your husband can cheat, he may leave you for another woman who he bonds with, he may just decide to divorce you to seek out a new love or he may withdraw and do nothing for you. I am certain you will understand if these things happen after all you can see that you can make a decision so you realize he can do the same.
A man's "needs" seems to have taken on a sinister connotation, I suspect it is because pop culture presents an ugly side of male sexuality. What does a man sexual needs mean to you. This ugliness is as bad as the objectification of women my pop culture. Neither is fair. Men are so human, it's a pity that some are treated so badly. Good men have the same feelings we women do, did you know that?
Will you carefully consider and answer back. I won't go through my story but, believe me I understand your lack of understanding.
Posted via Mobile Device