Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
I would have sex with my husband no matter what size he was. Maybe I can say that easily, because he always stays so skinny. But I'd like to think it wouldn't matter to me. I love the person inside, the outside is just a bonus.
i wouldn't stop having sex with him but it would definitely throw things off a bit. my husband is in great shape and has worked out religiously for as long as i've known him, so if all of a sudden he became a couch potato and gained a lot of weight, it would definitely affect the sexual chemistry between us.
having said that, i love him no matter what he looks like, so i'm sure we would overcome it (especially if the weight gain was through no fault of his own).
It has never bothered me one bit. If someone was grossly overweight (morbidly obese) and unhygenic it would bother me, but even 50- 60 pounds wouldn't bother.
In fact I was just talking about this with my fiance today, and he said he would still love me and be attracted to me. I do know I feel better at the weight I am now though, and much more attractive, then when I was heavier, through illness.
I think it's important to be relatively healthy, and actual weight doesn't matter so much at all. Plus my fiance look great.
My wife went from about 115 to about 175 over 16 years together but I always found her very sexy. Over the past year she has lost most of the extra weight and oddly enough, even though she should be more attractive to me, I guess I never lost my attraction to her in the first place.
for me, it's not so much an appearance issue as it is an effort/work ethic issue. ive always been into physical fitness and have worked very hard on my physique, and i want to be with someone who shares the same drive. so i'm primarily attracted to the fact that my husband is active and works out regularly and only secondarily attracted to the body that he's built through those efforts. if he gained weight not because he got lazy but because his metabolism slowed (due to age or a medical issue, for example) or he can't work out due to an injury, it wouldn't bother me at all because I would know that he still cares about his health and appearance.
who's weight gain are we talking about here? yours or your spouse? i see everyone presumed you were talking about your spouse and not yourself. I used to weigh #130lbs more than i do now, and i can honestly say that we did not have sex as much as we do now... not because my husband didn't want to, but because I didn't want to. I didn't feel sexy or attractive, even thought he always thought I was super sexy...and now that i am 135# he can't keep his hands off of me, the difference is that now I feel sexy enough to let him man handle me a little lol. I wouldnt stop having sex with my husband, but to be perfectly honest if he were to gain a large amount of weight, it would affect my attraction to him. i was 180lbs when i met my husband at 5ft 3.. and after my daughter i reached 240, then i lost it and went down to 190, then i had my son, and gained back plus more and reached my heaviest of #260...I have lost all of that weight and maintain my weight at 130 now. My husband who is 6ft 3 is steadily between 230 and 250.. If he were to go much beyond that it would affect my attraction to him for sure, but i would encourage him to come exercise with me or go for walks or change the food that we are eating.... I think if he got over 300lbs it would start to affect my view of him because i would be worried about his health...and i would also be worried as to WHY he gained so much weight, as many people know weight gain, unless due to inability to exercise due to a physical problem, is usually a result of something emotional (stress, depression, guilt etc) so I would talk with him and try to figure it out
My husband has actually gained about 35 to 40lb in the past 3 years and I still find him sexy as all get out. I would struggle if he were obese though, like 300lb, but I would still love him and I would do my best to help get his weight down.
Significant weight gain is a total deal breaker in our relationship. For me, one of the things I love most about him is that he's athletic and in great shape. He loves outdoorsy things, running, camping, walking around for miles exploring, etc. If he were to gain weight, it would have to mean he stopped doing those things, and I would not be with the same person anymore.
As for him, he loves my current body shape--I'm naturally pretty slender, and I used to be a dancer so I'm really flexible lol. If I gained weight, it would really limit the things we could do together. Plus, I would feel horrible about myself, and that would make me less effusive emotionally and less loving towards him.
Not to mention we're both very health conscious and know the health risks of weight gain. We want to raise happy, healthy kids together, and we can't be hypocrites when doing that.
Mine has gained a considerable amount of weight ... It doesn't make me not attracted to her, nor cause me to want sex with her less, but it does make certain positions, and things I really enjoy either impossible, or very difficult, and sometimes uncomfortable.
Sometimes making a commitment to get in shape yourself, and buying the family gym membership is enough to get them to take an interest. The hardest part is overcoming inertia, and getting over the 21 day (or in the case of working out ...42 day) hump to make it into a new habit.