04-14-2011, 11:38 AM
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#2 (permalink)
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| Moderator
Join Date: May 2008 Location: MA
Posts: 5,080
|  Re: Has anybody seen this? If not, you should read it.
Like preaching to the choir ...
Here are the big takeaways: Quote:
My point in all this is that I don't think the problems of a sexless marriage or sex starved marriage can be solved until the wife is willing to see it from her husband's perspective. Even if it is not something she feels comfortable hearing or discussing it is very likely the truth and being aware of his feelings and compensating for them can only help. In a situation like this, ignorance is not bliss but I find with my wife that she would rather be ignorant and turn a blind eye to the problem.
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I now have to live with the idea that I am morally, legally and emotionally tied to a woman who is dismissive of something that I feel is a very important aspect of our marriage. It seems to be that, she almost feels that, since she no longer desires sex on a regular basis that my feelings should have adjusted just because her feelings did.
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This is the point that I am at in my marriage. My wife likes affection, to be romanced, taken out on dates and given gifts. She likes for me to help around the house, take the kids off her hands for a day so she can have free time. She likes extra money for shopping, vacations alone and weekends away with her sisters. I bend over backwards so my wife can have these things that she considers to be basic needs that make her life easier.
I'm beginning to lose interest in making sure her needs get met. I'm losing interest in meeting her expectations when, it seems, she feels no need to meet mine, one basic need and that is sex. It is not unreasonable of me to say that if my wife constantly turns down my one basic need that I'm going to eventually lose interest in meeting her needs.
| The ideal of course is, that she is willing to see it from his side ... and then openly share her side, which may require action on his part.
If that doesn't happen, and he sticks to his "I would never leave her," mentality, nothing changes, because nothing is actually at risk.
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"I figured out they were serious eventually but was thinking it was ridiculous. I wanted to kick them in the balls." - Trenton |
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