Do women like sex?
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 04-21-2011, 04:52 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Do women like sex?

I ask this question because me wife has told me on many occasions that she does not like sex.

She will still make love to me, and after a couple of minutes of kissing and touching she gets into it... Sometimes REALLY into it. We have been married for 2 years now and she seemed to like it before we got married, but as soon as we tied the knot, everything changed.

She has told me that it is not me, or anything I do or don't do that she doesn't like, it's just sex it's self that she doesn't like. Which is very confusing to me... There has been only a coulple of times she hasn't had an orgasm, but 99% of the time she does.

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Old 04-21-2011, 05:15 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do women like sex?

Like many questions, I'd say "It depends"... My current partner (who is female, BTW) is as much into sex as anyone, male or female, that I've ever met. And some of the women on here are even worse (better?)...

How old is she? Some women see an increase in their drive/desire as they get closer to 40.

C
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Old 04-21-2011, 05:41 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by PBear View Post
Like many questions, I'd say "It depends"... My current partner (who is female, BTW) is as much into sex as anyone, male or female, that I've ever met. And some of the women on here are even worse (better?)...

How old is she? Some women see an increase in their drive/desire as they get closer to 40.

C
She is 24. We just had our first son 4 1/2 months ago, so I understand the whole "not into it after baby thing", but she has been this way since we got married, so I am just curious to hear what everybody has to say.

Thanks!
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Old 04-21-2011, 05:48 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do women like sex?

I'm wondering if she worded this correctly because it sounds to me like she likes sex just fine. How often do you have sex?
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Old 04-21-2011, 06:02 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do women like sex?

I am a woman who really really likes sex. I believe that it is an intimate important vital part of a relationship. I also believe it is part of who you are. It is a huge release, to have a sexual experience with your partner is a huge trust and love thing. I love sex, unfortunately my h is not as into the act as I am. I have tried everything, everything! And now I take what I can get, and try to make the most out of it without getting my feelings hurt, much. Yes I feel rejected and like I am not enough. I just know that my drive is much higher than his... So to answer your question, YES woman LOVE sex.
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Old 04-21-2011, 06:08 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by _alice_ View Post
I'm wondering if she worded this correctly because it sounds to me like she likes sex just fine. How often do you have sex?
We have sex roughly once every week or two. I would like it every other day, and we had a pretty intimate conversation about this last week and when she gets off her time of the month we are going to try some things to up the frequency. She has told me more than once that she could go months without it and be completely happy... That just doesn;t make any sense to me at all.
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Old 04-21-2011, 06:11 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I am a woman who really really likes sex. I believe that it is an intimate important vital part of a relationship. I also believe it is part of who you are. It is a huge release, to have a sexual experience with your partner is a huge trust and love thing. I love sex, unfortunately my h is not as into the act as I am. I have tried everything, everything! And now I take what I can get, and try to make the most out of it without getting my feelings hurt, much. Yes I feel rejected and like I am not enough. I just know that my drive is much higher than his... So to answer your question, YES woman LOVE sex.
Abbylee,

What makes you like sex? Is it the emotional side or the physical side or both?

Thanks!
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Old 04-21-2011, 08:01 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do women like sex?

Are you her "first?"
Has she ever masturbated?
Does she ever fantasize?
Is she from a religious upbringing or culture where sex is a sin, taboo or highly regulated?
Is she nursing the baby?

Have you ever been able to bring out her inner sex kitten?
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Old 04-21-2011, 09:01 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do women like sex?

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Originally Posted by Vtecthis View Post

What makes you like sex? Is it the emotional side or the physical side or both?
I started to love sex ever since I had my first orgasm. That was 20 years ago, when I was 18!

I think I have a man's sex drive in a woman's body.

With my husband, sex enjoyment is both emotional and physical. I love orgasms, especially now I am at this age, orgasms are extremely strong, the twitches are very powerful. I also like to be with my husband, I like to be on my husband's body! I like to be in his arms.

Last edited by greenpearl; 04-22-2011 at 12:02 AM.
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Old 04-21-2011, 09:14 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by notaname View Post
Are you her "first?"
Has she ever masturbated?
Does she ever fantasize?
Is she from a religious upbringing or culture where sex is a sin, taboo or highly regulated?
Is she nursing the baby?

Have you ever been able to bring out her inner sex kitten?
These are real important considerations. I had no desire for sex when I first got married in my early 20s. I di not think of it but i loved affection - kissing hugging, gentle, caresses etc. My husband was and is good at starting slowly and not proceeding until I am ready for the next step. I get arroused after non sexual caresses and ready after slowly progressive sexual caresses. The grab and grope or right to the genitals would not work for me. Slow and steady, and proceeding when I am ready. That does the trick.

How do you know she enjoy it or is not faking orgasms? Many women fake it are there physiologic signs that she has an orgasm? How long does it take between the time you approach her until you have an orgasm? What has changed after marriage? Do you take less time with foreplay now, any changes in the way you treat her from before and after marriage.

I have acquaintances who say that some men seem to change after marriage and the change unsettled the wife. Thet are done with the chase and find no reason to treat his wife as athe same way they did as a girlfriend. Some men pay less attention to her, talk less, reveal bad habits or become careless with apearence or hygeine. Some men even shorten or stop foreplay or grope their wives breast or butt. Not saying this is you but just some avenues for exploration.

You don't have to jump through hoops to make love to your wife but you do have to approach it taking into account her slower arrousal and need to be warmed up. Also her need for reassurance that you love her. Some men think that just by the act of marrige that they have demonstrated their love so their is no need to say it. Women need to hear it but not too frequently at unexpexpcted times, occasionally look at her deeply and tell her you love her.
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Old 04-21-2011, 11:58 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do women like sex?

The OP said that once the ring was on her finger, she suddenly lost interest. Sounds like her idea was to catch a mouse and once the trap was sprung, she saw no need to replace the cheese. She liked sex well enough before the ring was in place.
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Old 04-22-2011, 12:00 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do women like sex?

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The OP said that once the ring was on her finger, she suddenly lost interest. Sounds like her idea was to catch a mouse and once the trap was sprung, she saw no need to replace the cheese. She liked sex well enough before the ring was in place.
I view this is a very bad attitude to have!

You get the ring, you get his heart at that time, but if you are not careful, you may lose it one day!

Marriage is a life long relationship, if you don't work hard to keep his heart, then you might lose him one day, what's the point?
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Old 04-22-2011, 12:45 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do women like sex?

I agree it's a bad attitude, but not an uncommon one. An exchange of sex for security is the oldest transaction in history. I've read many posts of women who, after marriage, decided for one reason or another to deny their husbands sex or affection. Haven't read one which indicated they were so unhappy with their husbands that they refused to let him pay bills. Can't recall any posts of women involved in true dating scenarios (not cohabitating) who decided to cut their sexual partners off. I'm guessing most are wise enough to know that would be the end of their relationship. Once a ring, a child, or mingled finances enter the equation, other leverage can be used to keep a guy around even if sex is withheld.
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Old 04-22-2011, 12:56 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do women like sex?

I don't really believe this. I think most women love the man they are going to marry and can't imagine there high sex drive will change when they are in the honeymoon phase. They just don't know why it goes away.

But most of the time I can bet there needs are not being met and that is why they are not meeting his needs.

me i love sex, and I know what I need in order to make feel attracted to my fiance and am honest about it, and he lets me know what he wants from me too. You have to be honest and willing to work on it and not just take, to give give give too, without becoming a doormat. It's a balance.
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Old 04-22-2011, 01:36 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do women like sex?

According to the post, this guy didn't have a chance to gradually fall out of favor. The post said they got married and she got a permanent headache. His sexual skills didn't disappear during the ceremony. She liked them before. She didn't like them after. Easy litmus test: Apart from the actual sex act, does she spontaneously and regularly treat him with loving and nurturing gestures which she initiates? If she loved him but actual penetration is her problem, she would initiate other means to give him pleasure because that's what loving people do....try to please the one they love. Is she just more of a passive participant, caring little of what he thinks, wants, needs, eats, but primarily focused on what she wants? If so, she is a consumer and that apparently was her plan all along.
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