Confessions of an Orgasmic Unsatisfied Wife
Reading this forum, it appears most people are either sexually frustrated or squirting orgasms right and left. I am neither.
I think I am a typical female. I enjoy sex with my husband, yet I have the best orgasms by myself. We are both in our 50's, healthy, and orgasmic. We are easily aroused by each other. When he is aroused he wants to put it in me and get off. Despite his best efforts, it's all over in less than 3 minutes. To him, ideal sex is intercourse, and he can't wait to do me. When he is done, he will be "nice" to me and do what I want (vibe, dildo, whatever) but the passion is gone, so it's hard for me to feel excited.
He turns me on vaginally. I want him to enter me. But when I am horny on my own, I am turned on in my clitoris. It feels tingly. I only have clitoral orgasms, so I never come from intercourse. This is the most important point I can make here, the difference between vaginal and clitoral turn-on!
My best orgasms I get by myself. I watch realistic porn or read a story to get myself aroused, use my vibe and dildo sitting up (! important) and I have an orgasm in 2 - 4 minutes. Those are screamer orgasms. When I skip the arousal activites, it takes longer, 10 min with a vibe, 20 min manual. If I am laying in bed, my mind wanders and it can take up to an hour, no kidding! When my husband is there and it takes a long time, he gets really bored. Of course, I am self conscious about the time and it takes me longer. Recently, I could not get an orgasm at all, after one hour of trying.
My husband does not have the interest for any of this. He is lazy. After he comes, he will lie in bed and try to get me off, or let me do it (my preferred way). It takes me a long time. He does what I want him to do, which is to just be quiet so I can focus and hold me when I climax. Then he is in a hurry to get up and get his day going.
I am disappointed and frustrated often, that I do not have the sex life I envision. Less than 1/3 of the time it's really great, the other 2/3 it's quickies for him with me finishing up when he gets ready for work or falls asleep at night.
Today, I am not in the mood for his quickies, although sometimes I don't mind them at all. Just my mood. I have told him how I get aroused, how he can participate, he chooses to forget.
I think he ought to consider what it would be like to have sex without a climax. I think it would be boring to pend 20 - 30 minutes trying to get your girl to come. I don't blame him for being bored, but if I was really turned on, it would be fast!
Too bad my husband can come in 1 minute, and it takes me 10 minutes. Too bad if I come first, he has lost his erection. Too bad if I come last he has lost his interest. Too bad he does not have the interest in sex to get me really aroused or let me get myself really aroused before we get started...too bad he is a hard worker and prefers to do his responsibilities instead of luxuriating in bed with me.
So that is my real sex life.
Last edited by Sara Ann; 04-25-2011 at 01:42 PM.