Daily Sex v. Monthly Sex- too big of a gap

rppearso · 05-05-2011, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mika Lynn

this is my situation exactly! I want sex daily; he wants it maybe once every 3 weeks. The thing is, with this large of a gap, how does one even find intimacy? Sex is sex; intimacy is another thing! I feel like I am invisible in my marriage, sexually. I know many men say their wives go into mommy mode after kids and they are not as interested in sex. They get frustrated, but they understand because they have had years of sex without kids. Well, I have NEVER had 'good sex' in my marriage. After kids I was determined NOT to let it affect my sexualness, and I didn't. It seems like my HB thought once we had kids, that the pressure would be off of HIM. I just wonder, is having this much of a sexual discrepancy grounds for divorce? I think it is.

I agree, sexual frustration always gets worse and never gets better. If your partner is refusing you it basicly says that either they dont love you or they are so lazy that they are willing to throw the marriage away becuase they dont want to do X Y or Z. I would not let it go any longer than 6 months, 6 months is more than enough time to talk it over, maybe see a counselor and explain how serious the situation is. If she goes balistic because divorce is now on the table you need to push that time up becuase she will be even more quarlsome to live with.

So one of 2 things will happen, she will say omg im so sorry and immediatly close that gap with you to where your happy and not just settling or she will throw a fit and try to use drama to get you to drop it. She could also just calmly accnoloage the sitaution and cooperate with you on the divorce process, if she is not willing to change her sexual habits to accomodate you this would be the ideal situation.

Once you are in separate residences I would treat her like you were already divorced because if she is uncooperative it could be over a year before your divorce is final and I dont know about you but im not going to sit around being celibate for a year or more.

If she goes histerical you need to sell the house without her knowing and get everything arranged, remember possession is 9/10's of the law if you get all your stuff out and in a storage unit or your parents house your good. The hardest part will be getting a new place and selling the one your in now because you are so used to living the way you are now.