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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 04-30-2011, 10:41 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Porn and Christianity

Ok..The two words probably should never be put in the same sentence..at least not with the way I was raised..in a very conservative..christian home..
but still..I find myself more horny than most people out there..always been tempted to look at porn but have felt guilty because of christian beliefs..
Got married...now feel guilty if I think of watching porn because of both, our marriage and christian beliefs..
But..a part of me says..if a couple is Married..and if a couple watches Porn TOGETHER and it is ok with both husband and wife...would it still be wrong under christian beliefs?
This is where hypocritism comes in..
I guess I should ask then, is it ok to be a pornstar if you have christian beliefs?
The answer most people would give is No..its not ok..we are supposed to be pure..sex should stay within the confines of a marriage, etc. etc..

I probably just answered my own question..

What say you fellow talkaboutmarriage.com members?
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Old 04-30-2011, 11:05 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn and Christianity

You had to open that can of worms didn't you. LOL!! I became a christian 12 years ago and took all these women's bible studies where they say porn is wrong in fact they say even a soap opera is soft porn. And don't even think about looking at a Victoria's secret catalog...

Just in the past few weeks of being here on TAM I've changed my opinion. I no longer have a problem with porn as long as it enhances my marriage and doesn't become addictive. The other night my H watched some adult tv on HBO but came to bed to ME. That I'm okay with but getting himself off while watching porn no (remember he's the low drive one). Not unless I'm watching that is.

In fact I think I might check one out tonight after the kids go to bed (I've never seen one) since my H is out of town. He says he's not interested in porn but I think he's lying.

Last edited by magnoliagal; 04-30-2011 at 11:12 AM.
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Old 04-30-2011, 11:21 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn and Christianity

haha, yup had to open that can of worms..
Me and My wife tried watching porn once..after about 30 minutes we shut it off..
Everytime I looked at her she had this disgusted look on her face..like she was looking at a pile of poop, and vomit mixed together...and she got teary eyed and said..-why are you so excited to see this?-
I wasnt that excited at all..and didnt have an erection once..it honestly felt like watching a movie with my mom that has alot of sex in it...you just cant enjoy it..
My wife told me..-that is so disgusting..how can somebody be a pornstar? I am NEVER gonna do that...that is SOOO gross-

And we didnt have sex for a few days after...
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Old 04-30-2011, 11:24 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn and Christianity

Pornography comes from a greek work meaning writings about harlots. The greek term used in scripture often translated "fornication" is porneia which is a broad category including all forms of immoral and sexual acts. It is pre-marital sex and adultery; it is abnormal sex, all kinds of sexual vice.

With that being said, don't feel bad because this is something that I've had to recently come to grips with myself. The passage of scripture that made it clear to me that pornography was more than just lust, but adultery in the heart, was Matthew 5:27-28 (NASB)
{27} "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery ';
{28} but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

It may not actually be a physical act but God is really more concerned about the condition of your heart. The physical act as well as the mental act are both equally wrong in the eyes of God and they are both adultery.
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Old 04-30-2011, 11:26 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn and Christianity

Christian or not, I don't believe porn is healthy for any body, not the women in the porn nor women or men who watch and consume it.

It does nothing but set ridiculous expectations, and studies show it's highly addictive, makes people WORSE in bed and changes the way men view women.

I do believe it's highly hypocritical for christians to view porn, and any body who claims to care about the well being of women.
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Old 04-30-2011, 11:29 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn and Christianity

Quote:
Originally Posted by marksaysay View Post
Pornography comes from a greek work meaning writings about harlots. The greek term used in scripture often translated "fornication" is porneia which is a broad category including all forms of immoral and sexual acts. It is pre-marital sex and adultery; it is abnormal sex, all kinds of sexual vice.

With that being said, don't feel bad because this is something that I've had to recently come to grips with myself. The passage of scripture that made it clear to me that pornography was more than just lust, but adultery in the heart, was Matthew 5:27-28 (NASB)
{27} "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery ';
{28} but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

It may not actually be a physical act but God is really more concerned about the condition of your heart. The physical act as well as the mental act are both equally wrong in the eyes of God and they are both adultery.

I always wonder if the same applies if both husband and wife agree on it..
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Old 04-30-2011, 11:32 AM   #7 (permalink)
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{28} but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
But I can assure you my H is NOT lusting after the woman on tv when he watches a sex scene on a movie not even porn. It's me he lusts after not her. God knows my heart and knows I lust after no one but my H and he feels the same way about me. I no longer fear porn.
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Old 04-30-2011, 11:35 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I always wonder if the same applies if both husband and wife agree on it..
The answer to your question would be yes. Some type of sexual arousal is usually the intended result of watching porn or reading erotic literature. That arousal is the result of both parties allowing their minds to be influenced by images or words that are based on another person outside of the marital relationship.
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Old 04-30-2011, 11:39 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn and Christianity

This is one of the many reasons I no longer attend church or identify myself with any religion. I can't reconcile my own beliefs with those of the church at this point.

I have....issues. With Christianity. And there goes my blood pressure. Must.Stop.Reading.This.Thread.
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Old 04-30-2011, 11:39 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I always wonder if the same applies if both husband and wife agree on it..
I think it matters. I'd be upset if I knew my H did it on a regular basis without my blessing. I'm not naive to think he hasn't watched some skinemax when I wasn't there (I've caught him a time or two) but overall I think he has tried to respect my wishes. Or maybe he was just very discreet about it. Either way I was okay not knowing.
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Old 04-30-2011, 11:43 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn and Christianity

Your answers make sense...maybe its the cold..hard..truth...I always wondered what the word fornification means..

Which leads me to another question..I have always wondered this..I need to be pretty graphics to explain it though..

I have always wondered if it is wrong to...

-Have doggy style sex
-Oral Sex
-Anal Sex
-Boob Penetration sex
-Doing facials
-doing 69
-Using Sex toys
-etc
-etc
-etc

I mean, if those things are all fornification...that is a little conservative..at least compared to what Im used to..
I always think that if husband and wife both agree on it..as long as its between them two that there is nothing wrong with it...the way you(or the bible) explain it..it sounds like anything but missionary underneith a blanket is a sin..
Some people view anal sex as a sin..but what if a wife wants to receive sex this way from her husband, because she knows how much he would like her this way sometimes..is that not showing love? Is that impure by the husband to do it that way?

Wow..what a turn off it is to talk about sex in such a conservative way...

Or does god want us to have fun in our marriage beds...enjoying each other in infinate ways just like we do in other parts of our marriage?
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Old 04-30-2011, 11:44 AM   #12 (permalink)
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This is one of the many reasons I no longer attend church or identify myself with any religion. I can't reconcile my own beliefs with those of the church at this point.

I have....issues. With Christianity. And there goes my blood pressure. Must.Stop.Reading.This.Thread.
Was thinking the same thing. I quit going to church over a year ago when I saw the damage that whole submissive crap was doing to my marriage. I still believe in God but think people read too much into the bible. Don't even get me started on this subject or my blood pressure will rise too....
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Old 04-30-2011, 11:50 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Wow..what a turn off it is to talk about sex in such a conservative way...
Tell me about it. I have a friend who won't do bj's because in the bible it says you aren't supposed to "spill the seed" or something like that. She's catholic so they don't believe in birth control either. Guess I'm in trouble because my H is snipped.
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Old 04-30-2011, 11:51 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn and Christianity

Quote:
Originally Posted by marriedguy View Post
Your answers make sense...maybe its the cold..hard..truth...I always wondered what the word fornification means..

Which leads me to another question..I have always wondered this..I need to be pretty graphics to explain it though..

I have always wondered if it is wrong to...

-Have doggy style sex
-Oral Sex
-Anal Sex
-Boob Penetration sex
-Doing facials
-doing 69
-Using Sex toys
-etc
-etc
-etc

I mean, if those things are all fornification...that is a little conservative..at least compared to what Im used to..
I always think that if husband and wife both agree on it..as long as its between them two that there is nothing wrong with it...the way you(or the bible) explain it..it sounds like anything but missionary underneith a blanket is a sin..
Some people view anal sex as a sin..but what if a wife wants to receive sex this way from her husband, because she knows how much he would like her this way sometimes..is that not showing love? Is that impure by the husband to do it that way?

Wow..what a turn off it is to talk about sex in such a conservative way...

Or does god want us to have fun in our marriage beds...enjoying each other in infinate ways just like we do in other parts of our marriage?
Those things you listed above are not "fornication" or "adultery". They are things that involve nothing more than you and your wife. They don't involve you reading literature or watching other people have sex. They are just ways you two have decided to spice up the sex between the 2 of you. As long as it just involves the two of you, it's not wrong. Stories and videos involve other people.
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Old 04-30-2011, 11:52 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn and Christianity

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Was thinking the same thing. I quit going to church over a year ago when I saw the damage that whole submissive crap was doing to my marriage. I still believe in God but think people read too much into the bible. Don't even get me started on this subject or my blood pressure will rise too....
Sometimes I start thinking this way too..but then I remember it saying that there will be many people oppose to the bible..many people will mock it..laugh at you..true believers will be in the minority..

None of those are direct quotes from the bible..but it says that in one way or another...
This is when I continue to believe in it..but man its a struggle...feels like we just arent supposed to enjoy life at all..but instead live completely sheltered from any danger or lust..excitement..
Some religions in that believe in christianity do this really well..they shut themselves off from the world..others will live in normal cities..do normal work..but preach the bible..making them look like hypocrites...
Our marriage would be even more conservative, boring than it already is in the bed if we were to shut us off completely from temptation and lust..

I always wonder..is there sex in heaven? Can we at least enjoy it there?

I guess is there will be no Marriages..Hormones..or sex in Heaven..
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