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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 05-06-2011, 10:17 AM   #31 (permalink)
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Default Re: masturbation and spouse

Quote:
Originally Posted by MissLayla1986 View Post
I'm pretty sure my husband masturbates when I'm on my period, out of town, sick, or otherwise unavailable for sex. I've never actually seen him do it and it's not something we talk about, but I can tell that's what he's doing when he spends a little too long in the bathroom or inexplicably showers before going to sleep or when I wake up in the middle of the night and find that he's in the bathroom. I don't mind, as long as he doesn't use porn and only does it when I'm unavailable for sex. But if I discovered that he did it while i was around and available for sex, I think I would be hurt.

I also do it, but only if I'm traveling or my husband is out of town.

We don't incorporate it into our sex life because neither of us really see any point to it; I think both of us see it as something to tide you over when sex is not an option.
I think if nothing else you take away from this site is that men will go without sometimes rather than "speak up" Guys may not do it (or you for that matter because then it would no longer be "quality alone time" which is good for relationships. It is like the guy who doesn't want to teach his wife golf as he may be concerned that he will no longer have time with his guy friends. Perhaps there are better analogies but, i am tired.


To say "what is the point" unscores that you are ignoring a couple facts/benefits about masturbation together:

1- Most men find it HOT....period...they may not say it but this most of us guys do
2- It may give you an opportunity to see what your guy may to and vice versa. You may learn something
3- You are probably NOT doing it because of some self-consciousness. I think opening up in this way brings hightened intamacy and closeness. It is just another thing that you are experiencing together.
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Old 06-23-2011, 08:35 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Default Re: masturbation and spouse

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Originally Posted by tjohnson View Post
I think if nothing else you take away from this site is that men will go without sometimes rather than "speak up" Guys may not do it (or you for that matter because then it would no longer be "quality alone time" which is good for relationships. It is like the guy who doesn't want to teach his wife golf as he may be concerned that he will no longer have time with his guy friends. Perhaps there are better analogies but, i am tired.


To say "what is the point" unscores that you are ignoring a couple facts/benefits about masturbation together:

1- Most men find it HOT....period...they may not say it but this most of us guys do
2- It may give you an opportunity to see what your guy may to and vice versa. You may learn something
3- You are probably NOT doing it because of some self-consciousness. I think opening up in this way brings hightened intamacy and closeness. It is just another thing that you are experiencing together.
Sorry to pull up an old thread but I did end up talking to my husband about this and our conversation just confirmed what i had suspected: he does masturbate when i'm unavailable for sex, but he has no interest in incorporating it into our sex life. i asked him if he wanted me to give him HJs, and he says that since i'm already pretty good at using my mouth, there's no point in me using my hand ;-) he also said he doesn't find the idea of a woman touching herself appealing for some reason (though he did say that he's probably the only guy in the world who thinks that). he already touches me down there pretty much every time we have sex, though i don't think of that as masturbation.
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Old 06-28-2011, 06:02 AM   #33 (permalink)
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Default Re: masturbation and spouse

my wife and i did this mutual masturnation thing about 3 years ago and it was great, a lot of the time one of us was tired or something so we both masturbated together, normally i started first then after 5mins or so she would get wild and take care of herself which took about 5mins, we loved it for ages 9 twice a week or so) but now that has gone and hasnt happened in over a year, ive even tried to do myself next to her in bed which she use to love but now it doesnt worry her...

i miss it, *****
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