Husband only interested when I'm passed out? - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
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post #46 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-21-2011, 09:09 AM
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Re: Husband only interested when I'm passed out?

The other comment I wanted to make is that it is really irrelevant to be discussing what may or may not have happened to OP from a legal perspective.

The OP posted about her emotional (and quite appropriate) reaction she has had to what her husband did to her. This is not a court of law. People do plenty of damaging, hurtful, sadistic things to other people without breaking any laws, but that doesn't mean those actions are okay or any less hurtful or destructive.

OP posted to get affirmation about her FEELINGS, from what I can tell. I'm happy that some folks have given her the affirmation she deserves and needs. But she did not come on here asking for legal advice regarding what happened to her.

To debate whether her experience was rape or not implies that her feelings are only valid if her husband raped her or broke the law in some way. I think that is utter bull$hit. Her feelings are valid. Period.

Mom6547 - sorry about misreading your post! You gave good advice!
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post #47 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-21-2011, 04:48 PM
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Are prostitutes not "real women"? I thought the female ones were!
Women who are taken seriously and not used as objects. They are real enough but are no way equivalent to women these guys want a relationship with. So in a sense, no, they are not real women to these men.
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post #48 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-21-2011, 08:09 PM
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Re: Husband only interested when I'm passed out?

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Women who are taken seriously and not used as objects. They are real enough but are no way equivalent to women these guys want a relationship with. So in a sense, no, they are not real women to these men.
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Gotcha. Thanks for the clarification.
On the flip side, goldiggers look at a man and only see his wallet, car and home. They don't care about the person, just the riches.
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post #49 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-29-2011, 01:28 PM
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Re: Husband only interested when I'm passed out?

Sounds like rape to me. Serious counseling is in order.

I am wondering if he cleaned up the "mess" he made too?
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post #50 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-29-2011, 01:38 PM
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Gotcha. Thanks for the clarification.
On the flip side, goldiggers look at a man and only see his wallet, car and home. They don't care about the person, just the riches.
They are another whole sad species, I am afraid.
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post #51 of 55 (permalink) Old 06-03-2011, 02:30 PM
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Re: Husband only interested when I'm passed out?

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Sounds like rape to me. Serious counseling is in order.

I am wondering if he cleaned up the "mess" he made too?
I was wondering about that, too. She did say he put her clothes back on her and she woke up completely dressed.
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post #52 of 55 (permalink) Old 06-13-2011, 08:49 PM
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Re: Husband only interested when I'm passed out?

This is rape. 100%, no question, RAPE.

You cannot trust a man who will rape you while you are unconscious.

I cannot understand why the other replies were not also shouting the fact that this is rape. Can't all of you recognize rape when you see it?

Your husband raped you. That, I know, is the truth but I have no idea what you should do next. I suggest finding a counceler ASAP.

I suspect that when the baby is born whatever shock you may be in now will begin to wear off & you may be dealing with the aftermath of this assault. Better to get some help now, IMO.

You & your children are in my prayers.
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post #53 of 55 (permalink) Old 06-14-2011, 09:27 PM
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Re: Husband only interested when I'm passed out?

Does he tend to your emotional needs? Do you feel emotionally connected to him? Does he exhibit empathy? If so, that is a good sign. On the other hand...

It is possible he is deeply insecure and is too self conscious for consensual sex.

Perhaps he needs ultimate control and does not want to deal with the unpredictability of your responses or having to reciprocate.

Is it possible he is a narcissist?

"Sees people as objects:
The narcissist is only satisfied when things go according to plan, his plan of course. If not, he is displeased. As such, his relentless insistence on perfection, makes him too anxious to leave room for loving people. Consequently, he lacks empathy and has no genuine respect for people, as empathy and respect both have to have a basis of love for ones fellow human being. And therefore he is unable to appreciate the personhood of people. He rather views them as objects, preferably extensions of his own will."

Anatomy of Narcissism v1.0 (i) – What and How Phil's Philosophy
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post #54 of 55 (permalink) Old 06-14-2011, 10:06 PM
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Re: Husband only interested when I'm passed out?

One thing I didn't see addressed is why OP is getting pissed passed out? I don't know about you but I'd have to be roofied to the eyeballs to not know someone was spreading my legs, penetrating me repeatedly and cumming in me (ok so I'm not a woman but you get the point).

What's that about?
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post #55 of 55 (permalink) Old 06-16-2011, 12:46 AM
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Re: Husband only interested when I'm passed out?

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Originally Posted by Runs like Dog View Post
One thing I didn't see addressed is why OP is getting pissed passed out? I don't know about you but I'd have to be roofied to the eyeballs to not know someone was spreading my legs, penetrating me repeatedly and cumming in me (ok so I'm not a woman but you get the point).

What's that about?
Honestly, I was wondering this too. Not so much the spreading & penetrating, but the results of all that.

When I have sex, well... let's just say my body has definite signs of it the next morning. And the, ahem, "odor" of a man stays with ya for quite a while, if nothing else.

I'm really trying to keep this as PG as I can.
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