Here is my question. Tomorrow is our 8th anniversary and he said he has a place picked out already and it will be a surprise. What I'd like to do is ask him what he would like to get such as new lens for camera, etc. There is a great chance he will ask me in return too what I want.
I kinda want to tease him a little like "Can I have real 10-sec kiss with you?" which I read from Athol's book. But, think again, it might not be a great idea as this is sort of "initiation" and "pressuring".
I think it will depend. You have said that he is being affectionate. I don't know if a 10-second kiss is pushing his boundaries too much or not. You'll have to gauge that.
One idea to frame your request in relationship terms and not sexual terms is, when he asks what you want, tell him you would like one 10-second kiss from him every day for a month. You can reassure him that it's not about sex. Offer it in a public place so he knows you're not expecting a direct progression to sex. The TSK needs that kind of daily application to be effective anyway. If he balks, so be it. Tell him you'll take 5-second kisses, whatever he's up for.
Do you guys expert have any great teasers/jokes I can play a little? I hope to expedite things a bit but it's ok too if you think I should stay at this pace and wait until he comes around on his own.
I think you need to focus on staying the course. Remember, you are playing off his lead. You need to communicate that you are willing and available, but that he is in charge of your sex life for the foreseeable future. If he initiates tonight, and there's a decent chance he will since he's planned a nice evening, then great. Remember the condoms. If it takes him a month or more, then when he does he will feel ready to take that step.
Wear lingerie around the house and to bed not because lingerie might spark his interest in sex. Wear it because that's just what you wear from now on. If it sparks his interest, and it should, then that is a welcome side effect of your being a better wife and better lover (more sexy, less controlling). Remember, this is not about manipulation, this is about changing your personality and relationship and communicating that change to your husband.