Pilot my impression is that she has no idea how unhappy you are and that the relationship is in trouble. . I think you must put this to her, it is only fair right. Give her the chance to work on things. I would say it in terms of the type of relationship that you would like to have with her. Think carefully about what you say and what the consequences will be. Then let go and let her decide.
Along with that, ask her what she is looking for in this relationship. Your declaration of what would make you happy and the same for her can be looked upon as a road map. it must be fairly detailed but loose enough to accept some flexibility and changes. I think you want to have maybe the 4 or 5 top things most important to you and the same for her.
I am not sure the best way but it must be said. Perhaps a 3 Rd party is needed therapist? Before the relationship goes disintegrates you have to be aggressive. If there were no child it would be simple but this complicated things.
This is so difficult- sometimes if people feel that they have you conered they may not try hard - it depends on the person. Not being cornered means that there must be consequences. I don't know what they should be but it would be sad if Mom and Dad were not strong and happy.
You are working hard for that but you must pull out all the stops and hit this hard now before a hard pattern emerges. I hope you will be able to improve your families happiness you seem motivated and I hope you are rewarded with sucess.
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I actually don't think she knows how severely this affects me.
I've never grovelled or begged for sex, and she has never refused me.
I have made clear my needs and my most basic desires, yet she ignores them.
The first time this came up she fell asleep on me at 9p after using her vibrator earlier that day - i was super horny. I woke her up and told her that i really dont care about the vibrator, but if the vibrator was getting some p***y, so was I. She did give me sex, but it was unsatisfying to me - knowing she was taking one for the team.
The second time this came up, I left the house at 10p and returned the next night. Again making it clear without using words that I will get what I want - with or without her.
Right now is the third time lack of sex/affection is affecting me, and that is why I am here - asking advice.
I haven't cheated because that's not my style - or didn't used to be. I have been actively flirting with other women and would probably cheat if given the chance. I don't like that about myself but I know what I need and I am not getting it.