Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
I haven't cheated because that's not my style - or didn't used to be. I have been actively flirting with other women and would probably cheat if given the chance. I don't like that about myself but I know what I need and I am not getting it.
So, she is 4 months pregnant with the baby YOU wanted to have, she's never turned you down for sex? Your complaint is that sometimes she just isn't into it or her technique is not quite to your liking, and she's gained some weight? And newsflash: if you can't go 3 days between sex, just wait until she actually has the baby. Most doctors recommend waiting 6 weeks, and that's IF you're lucky and she feels like it.
And you really think this entitles you to flirt with other women and cheat? Forget the blowjob book; you seem like a real piece of work.
I am very supportive of her, and am excited to be a dad once again. I am not a flighty person; but let me ask you this - once the child is brought into the world do you think my position will improve or decline further?
Honest - decline for a bit then improve. My baby is 6 months old and just starting to get my 'groove' back. It's not my fault - hormones crash after baby. How are you approaching her? Does she feel lectured and inadequate? It's touchy subject. I had to laugh, pilot guy is not 'flighty' ha ha Posted via Mobile Device
So, she is 4 months pregnant with the baby YOU wanted to have, she's never turned you down for sex? Your complaint is that sometimes she just isn't into it or her technique is not quite to your liking, and she's gained some weight? And newsflash: if you can't go 3 days between sex, just wait until she actually has the baby. Most doctors recommend waiting 6 weeks, and that's IF you're lucky and she feels like it.
And you really think this entitles you to flirt with other women and cheat? Forget the blowjob book; you seem like a real piece of work.
I don't get the sense that he is at all insensitive. He is unhappy and confused by his partners indifference. I'd ask her why she would get involved with a man who was clear about what he needed to feel loved and then torment him. It really rather unloving don't you think. To respond to his request possativly and then tapper off is equally unloving if not a little cruel no?
Why do that? Why not be up front and not play a cat and mouse game. She needs to Woman up- treat him like he has some feeling as it appears he does. Woman up means acting like a responsible adult and not a child playing mind games. That's how I feel. he sounds like a good man why not pamper him treat him special as long as he does the same!!! Posted via Mobile Device Posted via Mobile Device
I actually don't think she knows how severely this affects me.
I've never grovelled or begged for sex, and she has never refused me.
I have made clear my needs and my most basic desires, yet she ignores them.
The first time this came up she fell asleep on me at 9p after using her vibrator earlier that day - i was super horny. I woke her up and told her that i really dont care about the vibrator, but if the vibrator was getting some p***y, so was I. She did give me sex, but it was unsatisfying to me - knowing she was taking one for the team.
The second time this came up, I left the house at 10p and returned the next night. Again making it clear without using words that I will get what I want - with or without her.
Right now is the third time lack of sex/affection is affecting me, and that is why I am here - asking advice.
I haven't cheated because that's not my style - or didn't used to be. I have been actively flirting with other women and would probably cheat if given the chance. I don't like that about myself but I know what I need and I am not getting it.
You're kinda crude but I sense it hides your vulnerability. I would be beyond hurt if I found my husband masturbating instead of me when I tell him I want him more. You're crudeness covers up your hurt. You feel used and you're feeling like a pay cheque and wondering why she's obviously sexual (vibrator) but why not you? As I said you're a little blunt but I get it. Let me think a bit and see if I cam come up with anything. Posted via Mobile Device
Honest - decline for a bit then improve. My baby is 6 months old and just starting to get my 'groove' back. It's not my fault - hormones crash after baby. How are you approaching her? Does she feel lectured and inadequate? It's touchy subject. I had to laugh, pilot guy is not 'flighty' ha ha Posted via Mobile Device
this isn't my first rodeo and i am ready to deal with post baby sex
i tell her when i masturbate - she does not respond with her body even though she tells me that i should not have to masturbate.
i even let her watch once so she could understand exactly what I do to get off in a few minutes. she was taking so long that i had to finish myself because it started to hurt
even after she watched, she has not tried to repeat anything she saw
I don't get the sense that he is at all insensitive. He is unhappy and confused by his partners indifference. I'd ask her why she would get involved with a man who was clear about what he needed to feel loved and then torment him. It really rather unloving don't you think. To respond to his request possativly and then tapper off is equally unloving if not a little cruel no?
Why do that? Why not be up front and not play a cat and mouse game. She needs to Woman up- treat him like he has some feeling as it appears he does. Woman up means acting like a responsible adult and not a child playing mind games. That's how I feel. he sounds like a good man why not pamper him treat him special as long as he does the same!!! Posted via Mobile Device Posted via Mobile Device
except for the flirting with other women part, right?
As someone who's just been through this (we have a 3 month old and were together less than a year before the pregnancy), I was happy to be getting anything at all. 4 months into a pregnancy is NOT a good time to be whining about bj technique.
this isn't my first rodeo and i am ready to deal with post baby sex
Not mine either but H almost died when during pregnancy I couldn't get enough and he was fighting me off and then the crash. I love him enough for awesome bj's though. Posted via Mobile Device
Fair enough - but i can say without a doubt that if she told me of a simple act that could make her happy and secure I would do it for her without hesitation. Is that not a great reason to be in a relationship? Mutual satifaction and knowing what it takes to make the other feel respected and loved?
She loves our sex. As mentioned before I don't use her as a cum dumpster - I am very attentive to her body and always let her orgasm first.
back off of always being the best lover and try to be selfish about it once in awhile.
Bang her fast and hard and then roll over and say WOW your so hot and I came so fast I love you dear. after a few of thoes she will probley say how about some long slow sex like you use to do and then say ya know I feel kinda used always doing for you and you not doing for me. you got to give to get baby I don't mind doing for you but its seeems lopsided and thats a real turn off. tell her you like the same stuff as her. long slow foreplay with a great climax at the end.
I'll tell you what I'll do for you if you do for me.but I get to get mine first and then I'll rock your world.
except for the flirting with other women part, right?
As someone who's just been through this (we have a 3 month old and were together less than a year before the pregnancy), I was happy to be getting anything at all. 4 months into a pregnancy is NOT a good time to be whining about bj technique.
she is not sick at all anymore - and devotes plenty of time to work, friends, daughter, activities, etc.
when she was sick for the first few months, there was no pressure from me - i'm not a cave man
she told me how horny she was in the second trimester last time and how she couldnt get enough sex
she's currently in the second trimester - see the disconnect?
back off of always being the best lover and try to be selfish about it once in awhile.
Bang her fast and hard and then roll over and say WOW your so hot and I came so fast I love you dear. after a few of thoes she will probley say how about some long slow sex like you use to do and then say ya know I feel kinda used always doing for you and you not doing for me. you got to give to get baby I don't mind doing for you but its seeems lopsided and thats a real turn off. tell her you like the same stuff as her. long slow foreplay with a great climax at the end.
I'll tell you what I'll do for you if you do for me.but I get to get mine first and then I'll rock your world.
back off of always being the best lover and try to be selfish about it once in awhile.
Bang her fast and hard and then roll over and say WOW your so hot and I came so fast I love you dear. after a few of thoes she will probley say how about some long slow sex like you use to do and then say ya know I feel kinda used always doing for you and you not doing for me. you got to give to get baby I don't mind doing for you but its seeems lopsided and thats a real turn off. tell her you like the same stuff as her. long slow foreplay with a great climax at the end.
I'll tell you what I'll do for you if you do for me.but I get to get mine first and then I'll rock your world.
LOL you're funny. Pilot huge difference between shy, timid and lack of experience and just plain old don't give a crap lazy - which one is she? Posted via Mobile Device
LOL you're funny. Pilot huge difference between shy, timid and lack of experience and just plain old don't give a crap lazy - which one is she? Posted via Mobile Device
i'm inclined to the latter - a princess. she was extremely hot as a young woman, and i think she still has the princess attitude of take it or leave it.
what she fails to undertand is that the tables are turned now - she is at the end of her high sexual demand, and i am at the beginning of mine.
she senses that i am pulling away - overly nice today. so yes, she knows i am unhappy and all that unhappiness entails.
i'm sure that i will get sex tonight - but that is not the issue here. the issue is i have to withdraw my affection in order for her to respond. i'm not going to do this for 30 more years - it will only get worse.
Re: Ice Queen 
