Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
so did you just start this thread so people could validate your decision to walk away from the mother of your child due to inferior bjs, and then laugh off anyone who seems to have a problem with this? You seem to have had your mind made up all along. What exactly are you looking for here?
so did you just start this thread so people could validate your decision to walk away from the mother of your child due to inferior bjs, and then laugh off anyone who seems to have a problem with this? You seem to have had your mind made up all along. What exactly are you looking for here?
I misspoke - you seem to illicit indifference from women or strong negative emotions. I supose some emotions are better than none. Thanks for pointing out the inexact nature of my statement. You seem to have one thing going for you, a critical eye - for others.
You started with wanting to walk out because she was cold and then you seemed to waver then you decided to go with your first instinct because it did not sound so bad afterall.
How did you arrive at your decision? Did you look in the mirror realize that a woman past her prime and 4 month pregnant with your child was not prostrate enough and worshiping at your phallus in deference to your wonderful manhood? She won't feel this way now but I think she is lucky that things did not work. As it is, you have a 3rd child to support and she can move on to a man who is not so full of him self. Another big plus - she won't have to work feverously to get him to stand at attention. That in itself will be a relief can't see doing that 3 - 4 times a week, what a buzz kill.
I hope you are at lest honest with the next hottie in line for you manly attentions who you came to have a pregnant gf while out shopping for a replacement. Quality women will avoid you like you were the dark one himself. But there will be 10s if not 100s who will take you on. She'll have visions of sugar plums dancing in her head and you will have visions of getting head every night. Sounds like a match made in some beggars version of haven. Posted via Mobile Device
I misspoke - you seem to illicit indifference from women or strong negative emotions. I supose some emotions are better than none. Thanks for pointing out the inexact nature of my statement. You seem to have one thing going for you, a critical eye - for others.
You started with wanting to walk out because she was cold and then you seemed to waver then you decided to go with your first instinct because it did not sound so bad afterall.
How did you arrive at your decision? Did you look in the mirror realize that a woman past her prime and 4 month pregnant with your child was not prostrate enough and worshiping at your phallus in deference to your wonderful manhood? She won't feel this way now but I think she is lucky that things did not work. As it is, you have a 3rd child to support and she can move on to a man who is not so full of him self. Another big plus - she won't have to work feverously to get him to stand at attention. That in itself will be a relief can't see doing that 3 - 4 times a week, what a buzz kill.
I hope you are at lest honest with the next hottie in line for you manly attentions who you came to have a pregnant gf while out shopping for a replacement. Quality women will avoid you like you were the dark one himself. But there will be 10s if not 100s who will take you on. She'll have visions of sugar plums dancing in her head and you will have visions of getting head every night. Sounds like a match made in some beggars version of haven. Posted via Mobile Device
You've had a lot of great posts, but I have to say - this is the single best one you've had - IMO.
Hello all. I’ve been lurking for quite a while and the advice I see on here is top notch, so here I go.
My Background: I am divorced from a ten year marriage with two young boys who now live out of state. 36 years old. After my recovery period, I lost a bunch of weight and started to read the PUA blogs. I took the red pill so to speak – realizing at the same time that a lot of commenters on these sites are spergy nerds, I took the lessons that made sense to me and applied them with my current girlfriend. Oh boy, did they work! I was not out to use game to pump and dump, but to land a quality girl to reproduce with and raise a family – and most importantly to keep her and myself happy and sexually fulfilled. I am not about to go into another sexless relationship.
Her Background: She is separated from her husband and is raising a six year old daughter. She is educated and well grounded – very easy to be around. Her career is helping people.
After dating for a few months, we discuss – very civilized and rationally – having more children. I explain very matter-of-factly that I want more children and that I have what she wants (security, read money) and she has what I want (a womb for making my babies)….romantic devil aren’t I! I hold nothing back and we openly discuss all manner of issues.
We move in together…
One night it dawns on me that she is not very good in bed – I couldn’t get hard and she got frustrated instead of stimulating me. I thought this was cute at first because it must be that she is inexperienced!
I explained to her how it made me feel, and suggested that she try X and Y on me because that really got me going. To which, she complied as best she could. I’m not going to lie, her bj’s are terrible.
So, this incident got me thinking about why I couldn’t get hard – the first time ever. At first no stimulation was needed because she was new to me. I noticed the first time I kissed her that she provided ABSOLUTELY no feedback i.e. sighing or heavy breathing or grinding – anything. The first sex experience was me doing everything under the sun while she received. I was quite happy with this arrangement at first. Then, after I couldn’t get hard, it dawned on me why. She made no noise, made very little grinding, and will not hardly touch me, and would not reciprocate. She orgasms EVERY time, and assures me that no one has ever done that for her.
I spoke to her about every one of these issues and told her I needed feedback. Since then, she has really tried. Honestly, she has tried everything I ask her to do – nothing freaky, I just like hot vanilla sex. I told her constructively that she needs to work on her bj’s and handjobs. All of which she made a great attempt at for a few weeks.
She’s four months pregnant………
I am now the father figure for her daughter…..
Only lately have I noticed that she never touches me when she sleeps, or is getting ready to fall asleep. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want her all over me, but it is odd to me that she never snuggles with me in the middle of the night – that should be an instinct for a woman in love, IMO.
I have now spoken with her at least twice about my need for good oral sex, touching, and intimacy. After these conversations, it gets better – then reverts back to no touching, me initiating all sex, me giving dynamite oral for her pleasure. Never once have I come in her mouth.
Last night she started complaining about a few things that I do that annoy her. I swatted the fitness tests down heartily. She laughed and said “You don’t let me get away with anything!”
Today I am left with sadness. Sadness that I am tied down with a 31 year old single mom, 25 pounds overweight that will not respond with sustained effort to my reasonable requests; that is poor in the sack; that thinks she can ***** about the toilet seat.
I wish she could read this, as I am about to leave.
Let me say a couple of things. First off, I, like you, would consider myself in fairly high demand. I'm 24, make mid 6-figures, we live in a beautiful house, I provide for my wife, etc. We've been married a little over 2 years. It's absurd that you think because you have a decent income and are decent sexually that your entitled to a good blowjob and a high libido or your free to just leave. Honestly, first off, she isnt a hooker, it doesn't work like that, you make/give her money, she gives you sex, give me a break. SECONDLY, you specficially told this girl all you wanted her for was a womb, and she complied, and now, OH WAIT, THAT WASN'T ALL YOU WANTED. You cant base a marriage on just a womb, she gave you exactly what you asked for and now your considering running out?
If you think your NEARLY as high quality / good guy as you think you are, you would never even consider telling this girl you want her for a womb, getting her pregnant, and then leave her 4 months in because she isn't performing sexually while she's in the middle of pregnancy. She does try to improve for you, and then it fades off, you immediately see this as her not holding up her end of the bargain, but its #!)*$ing hard to maintain a big motivation for something your not great at. The point is she IS trying. You need to a) wait til she's through her pregnancy before you push it too far, and b) work with her, keep explaining how important it is to you, and keep encouraging her to improve, in the nicest way you possibly can. Just practice, work together, and work your way out of it. But honestly, the way your approaching the whole situation and how much you think your entitled to because of your decent social status is ridiculous.
Work through it together, guide her, since you obviously know what you want, but do it in a positive way. Also please consider that even though you think your blowing her away sexually, and doing whatever she wants, just talk her through it, she may feel your frustration / being about to leave, or whatever, and the intimacy has really died down for her, or she may want something completely different out of you. Talk it over, work through it. If you leave her, then believe me buddy, your not NEARLY as in demand as you think you are, because despite your high income, in the end you'll only be one giant POS. GL, and I hope you guys work through it.
Let me say a couple of things. First off, I, like you, would consider myself in fairly high demand. I'm 24, make mid 6-figures, we live in a beautiful house, I provide for my wife, etc. We've been married a little over 2 years. It's absurd that you think because you have a decent income and are decent sexually that your entitled to a good blowjob and a high libido or your free to just leave. Honestly, first off, she isnt a hooker, it doesn't work like that, you make/give her money, she gives you sex, give me a break. SECONDLY, you specficially told this girl all you wanted her for was a womb, and she complied, and now, OH WAIT, THAT WASN'T ALL YOU WANTED. You cant base a marriage on just a womb, she gave you exactly what you asked for and now your considering running out?
If you think your NEARLY as high quality / good guy as you think you are, you would never even consider telling this girl you want her for a womb, getting her pregnant, and then leave her 4 months in because she isn't performing sexually while she's in the middle of pregnancy. She does try to improve for you, and then it fades off, you immediately see this as her not holding up her end of the bargain, but its #!)*$ing hard to maintain a big motivation for something your not great at. The point is she IS trying. You need to a) wait til she's through her pregnancy before you push it too far, and b) work with her, keep explaining how important it is to you, and keep encouraging her to improve, in the nicest way you possibly can. Just practice, work together, and work your way out of it. But honestly, the way your approaching the whole situation and how much you think your entitled to because of your decent social status is ridiculous.
Work through it together, guide her, since you obviously know what you want, but do it in a positive way. Also please consider that even though you think your blowing her away sexually, and doing whatever she wants, just talk her through it, she may feel your frustration / being about to leave, or whatever, and the intimacy has really died down for her, or she may want something completely different out of you. Talk it over, work through it. If you leave her, then believe me buddy, your not NEARLY as in demand as you think you are, because despite your high income, in the end you'll only be one giant POS. GL, and I hope you guys work through it.
Let me say a couple of things. First off, I, like you, would consider myself in fairly high demand. I'm 24, make mid 6-figures, we live in a beautiful house, I provide for my wife, etc. We've been married a little over 2 years. It's absurd that you think because you have a decent income and are decent sexually that your entitled to a good blowjob and a high libido or your free to just leave. Honestly, first off, she isnt a hooker, it doesn't work like that, you make/give her money, she gives you sex, give me a break. SECONDLY, you specficially told this girl all you wanted her for was a womb, and she complied, and now, OH WAIT, THAT WASN'T ALL YOU WANTED. You cant base a marriage on just a womb, she gave you exactly what you asked for and now your considering running out?
If you think your NEARLY as high quality / good guy as you think you are, you would never even consider telling this girl you want her for a womb, getting her pregnant, and then leave her 4 months in because she isn't performing sexually while she's in the middle of pregnancy. She does try to improve for you, and then it fades off, you immediately see this as her not holding up her end of the bargain, but its #!)*$ing hard to maintain a big motivation for something your not great at. The point is she IS trying. You need to a) wait til she's through her pregnancy before you push it too far, and b) work with her, keep explaining how important it is to you, and keep encouraging her to improve, in the nicest way you possibly can. Just practice, work together, and work your way out of it. But honestly, the way your approaching the whole situation and how much you think your entitled to because of your decent social status is ridiculous.
Work through it together, guide her, since you obviously know what you want, but do it in a positive way. Also please consider that even though you think your blowing her away sexually, and doing whatever she wants, just talk her through it, she may feel your frustration / being about to leave, or whatever, and the intimacy has really died down for her, or she may want something completely different out of you. Talk it over, work through it. If you leave her, then believe me buddy, your not NEARLY as in demand as you think you are, because despite your high income, in the end you'll only be one giant POS. GL, and I hope you guys work through it.
After contemplating all the advice here, I decided to take this to her directly one more time.
She started to roll her eyes when I brought it up - since I have so many times already. I stopped her there and told her she didnt understand - I am ready to walk over this.
It seems that I assumed that she had done the things I am asking with at least one other guy - I was wrong. Finishing a bj was something she had never done. This never even occured to me - never.
She isn't lying either.
Her long term ex thought is was for hookers, and never asked for it.
She stated that a few had asked, but she had never done it.
PG,
You are entitled to be "prioritized". You are entitled to be treated as the MOST important person in her life.
If you really are a great partner for her, and you both earn and demand respect, she should step up.
I DO think that you are describing a woman who is looking to see how little overall effort you will accept. And that is something you need to address together.
The other night my W offered to "please me". Kind of a one way thing. I softly kissed her on the lips and put my head in her lap while we watched tv. She gave me an hour of back scratching and back massage. THAT is commitment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pilotguy
Update:
After contemplating all the advice here, I decided to take this to her directly one more time.
She started to roll her eyes when I brought it up - since I have so many times already. I stopped her there and told her she didnt understand - I am ready to walk over this.
It seems that I assumed that she had done the things I am asking with at least one other guy - I was wrong. Finishing a bj was something she had never done. This never even occured to me - never.
She isn't lying either.
Her long term ex thought is was for hookers, and never asked for it.
She stated that a few had asked, but she had never done it.
Surrogate mother + hooker does not = wife or girlfriend. (Or shouldn't, anyway.)
Do you watch a lot of porn? Just curious.
x4tnys,
Nader,
Catherine (last post)
and Deejo
thx for your thoughts. I am trying to be a less bitter soon to be divorced woman, and you helped.
A book on bj's - nice suggestion, going to Amazon now.
You are not entitled to a good sexual relationship, if you are cruel enough to bash this woman for being overweight-WHILE SHE IS PREGNANT. Guess what, women are supposed to gain weight while they are carrying a human inside them! You said that you have two boys, but you seem ignorant about pregnancy and the challenges that come with it.
Does she still work and does she plan on working after the baby is born.
she was planning on not working after the baby was born. after this issue came up, i asked her to keep working after maternity leave. i really felt that she was using me and not returning my affection. she agreed to keep working.
i make more than enough to support this family.
You are forcing your child's mother to work, when you make more than enough for the family?? All because she is not "doing her duties"?! Selfish and spoiled aren't the words.
Re: Ice Queen 
You said that you have two boys, but you seem ignorant about pregnancy and the challenges that come with it.
Poor woman.
