Agarcia29

Looking for help.

I am tired of fighting with my husband, he just told me that he is not interested in sex. I am not sure if he means with me or just sex in general. I am very open with my sexuality, I love having sex with him. He says that I don't understand that he wants to show me he loves me in more ways then just having sex. I do understand that but if it was left up to him we would never have sex. I am what you would classify as a nymph, He knew that when we were dating, and we had sex all of them back them. I love my husband to death, and I try to show him that in a sexual way and in other ways the way I touch home, the way I kiss him. even washing his hair when we are in shower. playing with his hair. none of that matters to him. he cooks, cleans, and does for me and my kids and for that I love him even more. Because most women can not say they have found that guy but I did. So I gave him what he wanted but not touching him, not playing with him in sexual way and he is still mad about that cause he says I only touch him like that. How do we get past this Please Help me.... If we don't resolve this I am not sure whats going to happened and I don't want to lose him but I don't want to fight anymore.....

ClipClop

Can you meet him half way and see it from his POV?


Get into therapy first on your own. Then with him.
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Blanca

My experience biases my opinion in these situations. For awhile my H told me he wasn't 'sexual' either. He actually told me he resented me for "forcing" sex on him. But he was satisfying himself every day with porn. So based on my experience my first thought is your H is either satisfying himself with porn or cheating. If cheating is out then its porn.

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"I'm a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality."
- Bryon Katie

Frustrated4Fifteen

Or he could be gay.

Blanca

definitely. has also crossed my mind.

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"I'm a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality."
- Bryon Katie

MarriedWifeInLove

I'm in the same boat (but with some variables).

Husband says sex is not his #1 priority - but yet porn is. No problem with masturbating and viewing porn - but never available for me.

Has told me he has tons of resentment towards me for other issues (which I'm working on or have changed).

I asked if he was punishing me by withholding sex and he actually said he was. Asked him how long that was going to be and he told me until he felt like it.

So I'm working on me and being patient (for now since there are other factors at play).

But I RESENT the fact that he can't put his grudges aside and would drather have sex with an inantimate object (computer) than me.

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"Don't Find Fault - Find A Remedy" Henry Ford

CallaLily

MWIL, in your case, your husband doesn't want to be emotionally or physically intimate with you (a human being) he is relating to an object, a screen. He doesn't have to have feelings or show feelings for a screen. Most people who would rather view porn over sex with their partners is due to being scared about their feelings with a person. It opens them up for closeness, for vulnerability. They don't want that.

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