Wife's past sex life vs. current sex life
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 05-31-2011, 02:48 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Wife's past sex life vs. current sex life

If my wife has engaged in certain sex acts with 1st husband and a few BFs in the past but will not do the same with me, should I be offended?

Ladies - are there things you have done with past partners that you won't do with current partners? If so, why?

Not looking for answers that involve mental or physical abuse or answers such as
had sex in the back of the car when I was 16 but wouldn't do it now.
Thanks.
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Old 05-31-2011, 02:49 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's past sex life vs. current sex life

Shouldn't you ask her?
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Old 05-31-2011, 03:05 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's past sex life vs. current sex life

That's a tough one... If nothing else, I guess a really good answer to the question of "Why them and not me?" might be a good starting point for the discussion.

There is things that my current GF has done in the past, and says she enjoyed even if it wasn't a regular item on her menu. Hasn't happened with us yet; she claims to be concerned about a large peg in a small hole or something... And I respect that (and am flattered at the same time), but... We'll see how things go.

I could see if there was things she did in the past but didn't enjoy. But that excuse wears thin if there was multiple partners who got that opportunity. What does she say when you ask her?

C
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Old 05-31-2011, 03:52 PM   #4 (permalink)
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That's a tough one... If nothing else, I guess a really good answer to the question of "Why them and not me?" might be a good starting point for the discussion.

There is things that my current GF has done in the past, and says she enjoyed even if it wasn't a regular item on her menu. Hasn't happened with us yet; she claims to be concerned about a large peg in a small hole or something... And I respect that (and am flattered at the same time), but... We'll see how things go.

I could see if there was things she did in the past but didn't enjoy. But that excuse wears thin if there was multiple partners who got that opportunity. What does she say when you ask her?

C
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Old 05-31-2011, 03:56 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's past sex life vs. current sex life

My husband supposedly has a low drive so yep I did LOTS of things with other men that I've never done with him. He just didn't seem to be interested.

Now I know that might not have been true. It was me.
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Old 05-31-2011, 03:59 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's past sex life vs. current sex life

Actually - my husband is kinky and I wasn't.

So I would definitely say I do a lot more now than I ever did with anybody in the past.

In fact, if I was to marry again (after this one) - I just might scare the crap out of another man!

A woman should NEVER - EVER tell their current man/husband what they did sexually in the past with another - FOR THIS REASON.

Lesson learned gals...
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Old 05-31-2011, 04:00 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's past sex life vs. current sex life

"big peg in small hole" - just doesn't want to do it any more.
Going down after intercourse has started - now is nasty.

It is not that I would be upset without these things, I think it is more the thought of
others have done things with my wife that she will not do with me. My commitment
is obviously greater than that of a BF.
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Old 05-31-2011, 04:02 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's past sex life vs. current sex life

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Originally Posted by expressjones View Post
"big peg in small hole" - just doesn't want to do it any more.
Going down after intercourse has started - now is nasty.

It is not that I would be upset without these things, I think it is more the thought of
others have done things with my wife that she will not do with me. My commitment
is obviously greater than that of a BF.
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Did you ASK HER?
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Old 05-31-2011, 04:03 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's past sex life vs. current sex life

Have you told her that it bothers you? Or brought your conerns to her?

It seems like it bothers you on a mental level much more than a physical needs level.


edit: haha MWIL - RIGHT as I was typing!
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Old 05-31-2011, 04:05 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarriedWifeInLove View Post
A woman should NEVER - EVER tell their current man/husband what they did sexually in the past with another - FOR THIS REASON.

Lesson learned gals...
I know what's up with that? My husband doesn't know much of my past. I mean hello I used to be into bad boys. LOL!! He does NOT need to know details. And frankly I don't want to know what he did either.
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Old 05-31-2011, 04:10 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's past sex life vs. current sex life

It is much, much more mental than physical.
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Old 05-31-2011, 04:12 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Have you vocalized this to your wife?
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Old 05-31-2011, 04:27 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Yes and she gave the answers above and said it had nothing to do with
me in terms of why she doesn't want to. The last thing I want is her to begrudingly
perform, but I always wonder why it is different with me.
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Old 05-31-2011, 06:53 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Yes and she gave the answers above and said it had nothing to do with
me in terms of why she doesn't want to. The last thing I want is her to begrudingly
perform, but I always wonder why it is different with me.
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She feels safe with you. No reason to do all those things for you, you're not going anywhere. BTW, have you tried to initiate some of these things (not ask for)? What was her reaction.
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Old 06-01-2011, 08:03 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's past sex life vs. current sex life

Those men cracked the code. You have to crack the code. You don't crack the code by asking her why she did it with past men. She is seeing you and herself in a non sexual manner and this has to be fixed.
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