What age does a man not want sex?
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 06-01-2011, 01:53 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default What age does a man not want sex?

I am new to this site and really did not want to post this question but really can not find serious answers searching online.

Is there an age when a man really does not want sex and just does it to please his wife?

Sex betweeen my husband and I had become less frequent because of physical issues within myself (perimenopause). Before this we had a very active sex life and he always made sure I felt good. It did not matter how long it took. We both knew the end would be awesome.

A few days ago, we had a great night together but I guess because it was so great and I had not had the big O's for so long, I want to have more sex while my body is cooperating but I don't want to be selfish. If he really does not want too then I dont want to push him into it. He would never tell me he did not want to (even if he didn't). He is in his very late 50s and I am in my 40s.

Is there an age when a man does not want sex? If I asked this question 3 months ago it would have been because I was wanting to stop having sex, now I don't want to stop.....damn hormones!
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Old 06-01-2011, 07:04 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: What age does a man not want sex?

I know exactly what you are saying as I have been there, and am still there - only now I am going through the actual menopause stage which has made things even worse for me physically. I have had to go on bio-identical hormones and also seek help from a sex therapist to keep my body going sexually. I won't go into all the gory details but to answer your question, I don't think men ever stop wanting sex. However they do physically and mentally slow down where sex is concerned as they age. They often develop problems with getting and maintaining erections which can cause them to pull away from sex, but I doubt it keeps them from wanting it.

The "use it or loose it" saying is true and applies to both of you. The more often you both do it now, the better off you will be in the later years. So if your husband is willing, don't worry about being selfish - if his man part is working - he wants it!!! And if it stops working, there are remedies for that too.

Oh - and I agree - damn those stupid hormones!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 06-01-2011, 07:31 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: What age does a man not want sex?

For me, it was from about birth to age 12.
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Old 06-01-2011, 07:41 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Talking Re: What age does a man not want sex?

I know you asked for serious advice but it is hard to resist. I saw this poem years ago.

From 20 to 30 if a man lives right,
It's once every morning and twice every night.
From 30 to 40, if he still lives right,
Every now and again he misses a night,
From 40 to 50, It's just now and then,
From 50 to 60, it's Heaven knows when.
From 60 to 70, it's much declined,
but don't let him fool you, it's still on his mind.

Now for a bit of serious advice. If 3 months ago you wanted sex to end, and now you want it all the time, he is likely very confused. I would suspect he is trying not to pressure you for sex. He probably has the same questions you have. He is thinking, " is she just doing to please me? is she still interested?" Hormone changes leave you wondering "what is the real me?"

Communicate! Let him know how you feel every day. Start your comments with words to this effect, "Today I feel like . . . ", " right know I need . . .". Make sure he understands that you are in a state of change that isn't going to settle down soon.

Overall, My bet would be that he doesn't think that a cease fire is a good long term solution for your relationship.

M N
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Old 06-01-2011, 07:48 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: What age does a man not want sex?

Looking for an age isn't going to provide a valid answer. Everyone is different.
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Old 06-01-2011, 07:59 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: What age does a man not want sex?

I'm sure it eventually happens to us all if we live long enough. I'm almost 50 and from age 12 to the present day, it's pretty much been one long hornfest. The concept of not wanting sex is about as real to me as the concept of defying gravity.
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Old 06-01-2011, 09:10 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: What age does a man not want sex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Nail View Post
From 20 to 30 if a man lives right,
It's once every morning and twice every night.
From 30 to 40, if he still lives right,
Every now and again he misses a night,
From 40 to 50, It's just now and then,
From 50 to 60, it's Heaven knows when.
From 60 to 70, it's much declined,
but don't let him fool you, it's still on his mind.
I never heard this before, the twice every night might be a stretch but I bet MANY follow this pattern.

Ssssh: I know exactly where you are coming from. I went from being a once a weeker (feeling totally satisfied) to wanting it 3 times a day when I hit 42. Talk about a BURST in hormones! I felt I stepped into the body of a young Teenage male , my mind was overtaken with fantasies, I was undressing every good looking guy I seen in public, I lost interest in almost anything unless it had a sexual nature to it. For a time I felt I had a sex addiction. I suddenly lost all of my inhibitions from years past & was compelled to turn my husband on, it became my focus in life.

I found this online to describe this change--

Quote:
Balance the seesaw. When they were first married, the man remembered, he always took the sexual lead, pulling his wife close and whispering his desire to make love. But now, 20 years later, she often makes the first move.

Again, hormonal changes are bringing the couple into closer balance. Men and women both produce testosterone and estrogen, but the proportion of each changes over the years. The male's shifting levels of estrogen and testosterone may make him more willing to follow than to lead, happy for his wife to set the pace. And as a woman's estrogen declines and her testosterone becomes proportionately greater, she may become more assertive.

I remember feeling "Oh my God, I am just getting started and HE is slowing down"! This sinking feeling came over me. For the 1st time in our lives, he struggled to get hard, it freaked me out so bad , I sent him to en Encronologist to get his Testosterone tested (this is very funny looking back), learned he had levels "normal" for a 60 yrs olds- this caused me some worry !

But later realized from much reading that some men are just "lower test" all their lives, I believe he falls into this category-as he has never been the aggressive type, always calm, laid back. Thankfully he didn't need treatment and our sex live is pretty happening for a man of his age. I push his limits and he likes it. He knows it is good for his health as well. I heartily agree with the "Use it or Loose it" philosophy >> FOXSexpert: Senior Sex -- Use It or Lose It - Health News | Current Health News | Medical News - FOXNews.com

If your husband is NOT pushing you away , this is the biggest blessing you can have- as clearly, right now YOUR SEX DRIVE IS HIGHER and will remain this way till you hit menopause. This can be the happiest time of your life! (Is for me! )

If he loves you & desires to please you, LET HIM, blow his socks off, become his seductive temptress ! If he struggles to get hard, get a perscription for Viagra, this is very very common for men his age & most especially if you are having alot of sex.

As men age- their refactory period gets longer & longer, they just do Not LUST as often as these strapping younger males, they generally need MORE direct stimulation. Oral sex can be a life saver to older men to get them jump started.

This sounds like a good book to help :Amazon.com: All Night Long: How to Make Love to a Man Over 50 (9781590770276): Barbara Keesling: Books
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Old 06-01-2011, 09:24 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: What age does a man not want sex?

impossible to answer as a general answer....each mans hormones are different....speaking for myself i am late 30's and i still want it just as much as i ever have since my early teen years....
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Old 06-01-2011, 10:20 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: What age does a man not want sex?

A healthy male (mentally and physically) wants sex, period! Health issues can and do affect sex drive. But, in most cases those issues can be addressed.
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Old 06-01-2011, 11:16 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: What age does a man not want sex?

Ever hear the term "Angel Lust"? Some men get hard after death. So there's your answer.
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Old 06-01-2011, 11:58 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: What age does a man not want sex?

Some of the answers to this thread are comforting because I tend to lean towards those darn older guys. So far, no problems yet. However, I have wondered what could happen “X” years down the road if I do wind up with a guy and there is a significant age gap between the two of us.
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Old 06-01-2011, 12:32 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: What age does a man not want sex?

Viagra
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Old 06-01-2011, 04:45 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Viagra is great if the mind is willing but the flesh is weak. Having a hard-on but no interest just means you can carry more donuts.

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Old 06-01-2011, 07:29 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: What age does a man not want sex?

Andres Segovia, the famous Spanish classical guitarist, fathered a son at 94. And I'm pretty sure Picasso went to his grave boinking someone. He was 92.
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Old 06-01-2011, 08:53 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Andres Segovia, the famous Spanish classical guitarist, fathered a son at 94. And I'm pretty sure Picasso went to his grave boinking someone. He was 92.
But the mailman and the milkman were in their 20s.
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