nader

last night, it was slow, lazy foreplay (skipped the oral), after not having played with myself since Thursday night (half a lifetime for me!) I lasted about 2 minutes before I blew it. DW also used a similar 'clenching'
move that must have sped things along.
It was awesome. I would love to know that I have the option of doing it really quick, if I'm so inclined. just to have absolute control over how long I want to last. Problem not 100% solved (I still need DW to work on enthusiasm and overall sexy attitude), but it felt great to not have to worry this time.

Mr B

I've had this problem for years. My marriage became sexless because of it. It is caused by not being aroused enough with a given partner. The reasons are usually anxiety, fear of intimacy, not being attracted to the partner or heavy porn use and masturbation. Often the problem happens once a relationship starts getting serious. A man who suffers from this usually won't have any problems during one night stands or sex when a relationship has just started or when masturbating alone.

A partner getting upset by it adds to the anxiety and makes it worse. In severe cases it is almost impossible to fix.

danjensv

I'd figure out the problem(s) and try to eliminate them. If it still happens, maybe you need to see a doctor. Stop masturbating. Are you stressed, anxious, depressed? Is your wife attractive to you? Is the sex fun, lighthearted, hot and steamy or do you or your wife have hang ups or feel pressured or denied? Heath issues or out of shape? Maybe it's a combination.

I suspect most stuff like this is mental, not physical. Sex seems to cause a lot of issues between some couples and outside influences (kids, job, family, etc) don't help. So some soul searching, talk to you're wife honestly and good luck!

spaghettimonster

I'm going to get the vast thumbs down for this but...

When I have a mental block and can't finish, I find a small toy in the back does a very quick job pressing the inside button. I've been pretty void of any play for a long while, but one complaint I dont have is the wife being ok with my kinky discovery.

PBear

Why would you get a thumbs down on that? I've posted in other threads about prostate stimulation, and how it "forces" an orgasm for me. Can't say it feels any more magical than any other ones I've had, but it gets the job done. It's not something my GF and I do on a regular basis, but there you go... Nobody in here ever even said "ewwww!", as far as I recall.

C

spaghettimonster

Oh. Well, bravo then. I felt like the homophobia was a skoche higher in here than on the general internet, so I went and made an a**umption. Haa a**umption, I emulated the f***ering system they use on here.

spaghettimonster

More to the point though - I find they are a lot more magical for me, if magical means eyes rolling back, extra volume, extra distance, and extra waves with longer clamp downs.

PBear

Honestly, that's what we were hoping for. Either we need more practice (this was a first for both of us), or it just doesn't affect me that much. If I can, I'll report back in 6 months.

And BTW, it was her idea... I'm just along for the ride. But after we made her squirt, it was inevitable, I think...

C

spaghettimonster

I have found that it's more of a medical procedure than pleasurable if my diet has been poor or it is cold. Otherwise, I find that during the process about 70% of the work is occurring in the back and about 30% in the front. We used an aneros toy, and it was fun but it hurt me - a jelly version would have been ideal. As the tension builds up, the penile attention needs to backoff to just above 0% in order to last. Unlike intercourse alone, I find there is an inevitable upper boundary with the toy that is inescapable before completion naturally occurs. I am not trying to enthrall, just relay my experience as unerotically as I can.

nader

Does anyone take zinc to boost testosterone levels?

I was doing research on this and apparently, most men do not get enough zinc because it does not occur naturally in many foods .. you have to eat lots and lots of oysters and nuts to get enough. It is supposed to help with testosterone, immunity, adhd, and absorbing vitamins.

for the past week or so I've been adding a zinc suplement + fish oil to my multivitamin regimen, and it seems to be helping. I've read that it takes several weeks to really see a difference but it already seems to be improving. We've had sex 3-4 x since then and I've actually had to hold back to keep from finishing too soon!

So I just wanted to put that out there as a possible solution.. it is so rare to find something that really seems to work. I can't say wtih 100% certainty that it's the zinc, but it sure can't hurt.

johnnycomelately

I had this problem and cured it. Thanks to some good advice.

The problem turned out to be my grip when masturbating. It had progressively got stronger and stronger, which made it difficult for me to ejaculate when with my missus, as her vagina is never going to have the same grip as a big brute with forearms like Popeye!

A week of masturbating using only a very light grip did the trick for me. You just have to re-condition yourself to coming without so much force.

Good luck.

MSP

Zinc is great. Take it in the evenings.

2nd_t!me iz_best

lol

the visual of being in a cave full of "icicles"

curiousfreddie

I know this is embarassing, but have you considered going to see your family doctor about the situation. People focus on Erectile Dysfunction from a "can't get it up" stand point all the time, but this situation can be just as serious. Go see your doctor and maybe a counselor. It could be mental and physical. Your enjoyment is sex is important too.

nader

I've improved a bit since I started this thread 9 months go. Luckily it's never gotten to the point where I feel I need professional attention. I enjoy sex abuot 99.9% of the time!