Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
I've never had a problem with him looking at porn as strange as it sounds, I guess. Well I guess I would say I got over it and was like 'whatever'. We have been together for 9 years married for 7. Well about 4-5 months ago...he started looking at Ebony porn....granted we are white. And every time I'm away...he looks at a lot of it. It just makes me feel like how can I compete with that? I don't feel wanted. Opinions please....
You all are missing the issue...please read the entire post. He has been looking at black girls (porn)....ALOT. I look at porn too...I don't care if he looks at porn....but he's been looking at ebony porn alot. And I feel like how can I compete with a black woman?
I feel like that's what he wants now....his curiosity. Or am I just being insecure because he is looking at ebony porn now? Are relationship is pretty much fine...well your typical marriage. The physical part is good too. Just that......it kind of makes me insecure I guess?
I'm thinking you should be talking to him about it. Find out what the scoop is. Nobody here can tell you how you can compete, besides recommending a good tanning salon...
I don't think it's a big deal. Let's say you are thin & he has been looking at porn showing obese women. it doesn't mean he is no longet attracted to you.
You've been together a long time, that makes me think he is just looking at something new to spice up his fantasies.
I feel like that's what he wants now....his curiosity. Or am I just being insecure because he is looking at ebony porn now? Are relationship is pretty much fine...well your typical marriage. The physical part is good too. Just that......it kind of makes me insecure I guess?
Do you get insecure if he looks at porn with women whose hair or eyes are a different color? Or who have different body types than you?
Do either of you ALWAYS listen to the same style of music? Eat the same kind of food? Watch the same kinds of movies and tv shows?
Probably not, right? It's the same principle. Posted via Mobile Device
I don't think porn is good for relationships, it creates unrealistic expectations, plus has the person viewing the porn focusing on, getting turned on by and thinking about other people instead of focusing about what they find sexy in their real life partners.
I don't think it's a good thing that he is fixated on other women.
Definitely talk to him but I think you should do some introspection, too. When I found my H looking at porn I was really insecure too. Some might say my reasons were legitimate since he wasn't interested in sex with me but i realize now my insecurity about the porn was really stemming from an insecurity about the relationship in general. I finally realized many other areas of the relationship were the real reason for the insecurity. I just didn't feel he really loved me in general. The porn just brought out those feelings.
I don't feel the need to limit my H's porn use anymore because that feels like i would be trying to force a false sense of security. Its a psuedo-safety net that doesn't really solve anything. If i feel insecure about him looking at porn i ask myself why i feel insecure, what areas of the relationship and my interpersonal life are lacking, and go from there.
Porn husband here... who just happens to be black. Why your husband has a itching for black female pormstars??? No one here can answer thsi without speculation. You might of just caught him in the middle of his "flava of the month." Sometimes i look up asian girls for awhile, sometime german girls, sometimes brazillion. It just depends on what i feel like viewing during this time. My staff is over 90% white, and i know for a fact that some of my white coworkers have a natural curiosity of black women. Why? Can't answer that. But where the majority of these guys are from, its rare that they would of found themselves in a position where they could of ever explored a relationship with one, so often this curiousity lingers, even after they get married.
But i'm telling you that this is harmless. He married you, and prefers you, so when you say, "How can i compare?" I don't think overnight your husband will want you to grow a giant booty and be overly voluptious. He likes you, he loves you, he married you. He just happens to have a little bit of a curiosity of other women. Its like white woman who are curious of the new black guy (i've had this happen to me) None of these women threw themselves at me, they are happily married, but i can tell that are just naturally curious of me because of my color and where i'm from (heart of philly). Hope this helps.
You all are missing the issue...please read the entire post. He has been looking at black girls (porn)....ALOT. I look at porn too...I don't care if he looks at porn....but he's been looking at ebony porn alot. And I feel like how can I compete with a black woman?
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My husband looks at porn.... 
