Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
So my wife asked me what I want for Fathers Day? I replied "Just you honey, a BJ and sex would be great". She replied "Your not my dad and I wouldn't give him a BJ".
So WTF? Why even ask me what I want if you know you are not going to do it anyway?
I sure she will go and buy a tie or shirt or some other item of which I could really care less about or may have 50 of already.
So I see Fathers Day as a complete waste of time and money!
Happy Fathers Day to all those dads...... Hope you are getting or got what you wanted.
Is she not comfortable in engaging in oral sex in general? How is it that you wait for a celebration day like this in hope of getting what you want? More details would be appreciated.
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Gloria in excelsis Deo, et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis
Is she not comfortable in engaging in oral sex in general? How is it that you wait for a celebration day like this in hope of getting what you want? More details would be appreciated.
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Gloria in excelsis Deo, et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis
Uh.. 99.9% of the female population is not comfortable in engaging in oral sex.. so of course not. She never volunteers to do it so I must ask or I must beg or it would never happen. It only happens about 1 or 2 times a year anyway if I am lucky.
It's not that I wait for a celebration day. I simply gave her my honest answer when she asked the question. No more and no less. I am not a materialistic person and cannot think of a better gift of giving herself to me, only takes 5-10 minutes and does not cost a penny.
never despair for it is the way to sorrow and resentment.
Remember, it is so hard when one has to, yet so easy when one wants to.
May I ask how old are you and she?
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Gloria in excelsis Deo, et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis
Such feelings only do harm. You must shed all the negative emotions whatsoever. This is the woman you chose in life so the cards have been dealt. Your strength of character will make it the winning hand even if the dealt one was weak.
Thank you for the age details, I suspected your experiences had to be the age/cultural thing.
In my life I had many women. None refrained to engage in oral sex, many even swallowed. All did this willingly.
However, each person is different and only and your wife matter here.
I would recommend, if possible, to take your wife on a romantic getaway, to a nice hotel maybe. The important thing is for her to feel relaxed, not pressured to anything. You will feel when the time is right to initiate some intimacy, but make it be all about her. I hope that by now you are proficient in oral sex and know your woman and what makes it for her. So when you do get intimate, do your best and do it all for her. Do not pressure her to reciprocate, but just make sure you blow her mind, if possible.
The next day just go about doing stuff together and spend some quality time, just the two of you. At the end of the day, when you get the sense that it's ok to go forward, initiate some play, fun and slowly proceed to lovemaking. If you have not pressured her these two days and just made her feel wanted and it being all bout her, she should not be having her guard up anymore. This time instead of just going down on her, when she is already well in enjoying the act, try to slowly shift things into a 69 position/combination. If she's all hyped up (as she should be by this time if you're doing it right), she'll take up the play and just go forward. Never mind how good she performs this time, it' just that she now has made a mental connection of oral sex with a feeling of joy/mutual excitement. She should no more view it as an act which she takes no pleasure in/is just for you.
You should be having half the work done by now. You know your darling, you should know how to go on from here.
Just my opinion.
Whatever you do, the pursuit of happiness is your right in life.
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Gloria in excelsis Deo, et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis
Uh.. 99.9% of the female population is not comfortable in engaging in oral sex.. so of course not. She never volunteers to do it so I must ask or I must beg or it would never happen. It only happens about 1 or 2 times a year anyway if I am lucky.
It's not that I wait for a celebration day. I simply gave her my honest answer when she asked the question. No more and no less. I am not a materialistic person and cannot think of a better gift of giving herself to me, only takes 5-10 minutes and does not cost a penny.
I'd be curious where you got your stats from... I would hazard a guess that's not correct.
My stbx wife is much like your wife. Oral sex was not on the agenda. If I was "lucky", I might get some as a warmup. But never to completion. I just never explicated any more, after years of her making it clear. She liked being on the receiving end, though.
My current partner actually enjoys giving oral sex. She's much more willing to explore in general.. In fact, her sexual fantasy list is much longer and "kinkier" than mine.
You know, I don't have any stats on oral sex. But there's probably differences in the number who actually like doing it willingly and freely, those who just do it to keep the other happy but don't really like it, and those who just plain don't like it.
Many people see oral sex as a profoundly intimate experience, and are unable and/or unwilling to engage in it if they do not have a feeling of intimacy, respect, and trust already established with their partner. discouraged1, does your wife fall in to this category? If you are having relationship problems, it may be difficult for your wife to get to the point where she feels capable of doing this for you. Coercion and resentment on one partner's side about a particular act can cause an aversion (and resentment) to that act on the other partner's side.
I'm in my 30's and in a my years of having sex I have only had oral sex with 2 men. I twas a hard adjustment because it went aganist all my mother taught me. One I did it because I love him soo much and wanted to please him and became very good at it although there is and will not be in swallowing. But the other man never ask for it he said he liked it but wasn't a deal breaker with him. Something about him use to make me want to do it and with both there reactions turn me on so much that I started to enjoy it. My husband is one of those men and although we just started back having sex regularly with all thats going on. I totally stop oral for about 3yrs. Now that I have again he is like a kid in a candy store. And I'm NOW teaching him the proper way to take care of me. I use to just fake it for his benefit but after his affair I said why should I lead him to believe and build his ego up to where he goes out and cheat thinking he is just that good. When I told him this he was shocked but now puts in more effort there. So no I don't crave it but I do enjoy seeing him enjoy it so I do it.
Your strength of character will make it the winning hand even if the dealt one was weak.
Tell that to Wild Bill Hickok...
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Thank you for the age details, I suspected your experiences had to be the age/cultural thing.
In my life I had many women. None refrained to engage in oral sex, many even swallowed. All did this willingly.
However, each person is different and only and your wife matter here.
I would recommend, if possible, to take your wife on a romantic getaway, to a nice hotel maybe. ,snip> If you have not pressured her these two days and just made her feel wanted and it being all bout her, she should not be having her guard up anymore. This time instead of just going down on her, when she is already well in enjoying the act, try to slowly shift things into a 69 position/combination.
At which point she will tell you to take a flying f*ck at a rolling doughnut...
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If she's all hyped up (as she should be by this time if you're doing it right), she'll take up the play and just go forward.
Why? She doesn't like it, never has liked it and has never, ever done it before. She's told him it'll be a cold day in hell before she does. She's going to go from full speed ahead to all astern in about no time flat.
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just that she now has made a mental connection of oral sex with a feeling of joy/mutual excitement.
And this will overcome a lifetime's self-conditioning and disgust? Get real!
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Whatever you do, the pursuit of happiness is your right in life.
You have right to pursue happiness. You don't have a right to get it, or oral sex.
Did she actually say: "Honey, never put a penis in your mouth."
As crazy as it sounds Larry, yes. Her exact words til this day is. A penis (not the word she used) or Vagina (again not the word she used) is not suppose to go into your mouth. Thats some nasty Sh*& and only nasty ppl do it.
If your body is not enough then to hell with them.
Oh please. If she's not into it, then you're done. I will never believe this crap about how she doesn't know or what where when why. Just stop it. Are we adults? Have we not brains & imaginations? If her car broke down would she sit there and starve half to death & then blame you? Right. A reference manual and a 15 week crash course in head isn't a solution. She's not into it and this time next year you'll be back here asking about the next crash course. You're either being played and you don't know or she's being honest with you and can't admit it. Posted via Mobile Device
Happy Fathers Day! 
