Percentage of masterbating women...
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » Percentage of masterbating women...

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 06-19-2011, 05:31 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
marriedguy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 320
Default Percentage of masterbating women...

Alot of you know my struggles so I wont bother repeating the same old stuff again..
But was thinkin today..why is it that my wife wont show sexual affection towards me..
Or why is it that she almost never initiates any sexual conduct..
Then i remembered her telling me that she has never masterbated in her
life..i couldnt believe it when she first told me that..but after bein married now for
about 4 years i dont doubt for a second that she has in fact Not..ever. Masterbated...ir even been
tempted to do so..or had the urgency for it..my wife enjoys sex..just the basic stuff..but there is almost
no creativity or interest to initiate or change things up from her..

So..i went to do a search.."what percentage of women have never masterbated?"
Found some studies online that was done over a year on nearly 3000 men and women..about
55 percentage of men masterbated at least once per week compared to 38 percentage if women..
When it came to percentage of people who had NEVER done the self pleasurement
deed..about 90 percent of men had done it ib their life at least once..compared to
61 percent of women..
So now I know..my woman is definitely in the minority..she was not rased in
a over conservative home..went out alot with her friends most of who lost their
virginity long before they got married...
Then I read something someone wrote..apperantly some people
our born with no desire to have sex...no urges..thats just their
biological makeup..
I am seriously starting to think that my wife could be an asexual being that
requires zero sex to feel happy..she is healthy..happy and very cheerful most
of the time..extremely nice..sweet...she can orgasm during oral sex..but has
a severe phobia of having my sperm touch her body..or me going down on
her if she hasnt cleaned in the last 5 minutes..
I am no longer accusing my wife of not loving me..or not caring
about giving physical affection..she just may a person who has never had
an urge to have sex..with me..anyone..or herself...

Im wondering how many women here have never masterbated..or do it very rarely..
Just another step in trying to understand my wife..
Posted via Mobile Device
marriedguy is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 06-19-2011, 05:57 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Enchantment's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 2,350
Default Re: Percentage of masterbating women...

Hi marriedguy ~
You know, your wife comes across to me as just someone who has not been sexually "awakened" yet. Some people are definitely later bloomers than others, and I guess maybe some don't bloom at all.

I am a bit like your wife. I've been married 23 years and am committed to my husband and I don't turn him down. We have what most would consider a very good sex life together. I rarely have to masturbate by myself because we have sex too often for me to have any "down" time! He still does masturbate because he has a much higher natural drive than I do.

I would suggest that you start doing some thinking about how you can become your wife's sexual 'leader'. My H has been this for me - he has been the one to slowly and surely introduce me to new things and keep everything moving forward. Learn to treasure and enjoy your wife, learn to anticipate planning out this journey with her.
__________________
Enter these enchanted woods, You who dare. ~ George Meredith

Last edited by Enchantment; 06-19-2011 at 07:10 PM.
Enchantment is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2011, 08:39 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
surfergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 233
Default Re: Percentage of masterbating women...

I'm with Enchantment on your wife maybe not being completely sexually awakened yet. Which is really not so unusual at all. I too was taken aback when I first started visiting Women's forums/messageboards and discovered just how many women are not sexually aware of their own bodies....and didn't masterbate.

In regard to your wife not wanting your sperm touching her body, and her being so very aware of cleanliness before you going down on her - that kind of sounds like she has somehow maybe picked up the notion that our juicy-bits are "dirty". This also is not that uncommon - your wife may have been brought up in a more liberal thinking household but she still may have not been taught about what's normal sexually.

Your wife may be happy as she is but then, it's easy to be happy when we don't know what we are missing.

Enchantment's idea about you becoming your wife's guide sounds like a brilliant idea - be gentle with her and take it slowly.

Good luck!
surfergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2011, 09:10 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Runs like Dog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Redneckistan
Posts: 7,454
Default Re: Percentage of masterbating women...

Everyone lies. About everything. Dr. House is dead on with this.

Anyway, who cares. I don't care how often your wife pleasures herself. I care about how often mine does not. For every messed up relationship, MY life is a statistical outlier. Or it's not, in which case that's even MORE depressing.

At best you can make a case for saying that if she's comfortable exploring her own Georgia O'Keefe, she's probably more ready, willing and able to examine your wiring too. Unless she's essentially gay.
Runs like Dog is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2011, 09:46 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,929
Default Re: Percentage of masterbating women...

MarriedGuy, my wife was like yours. Never masturbated, never had a sexual fantasy... The only toys we had were the ones I bought, and they stayed in the drawer till I took them out to play with her. Like your wife, she would orgasm easily by oral or intercourse, but she would rarely seek it out. I do believe that her lack of interest in sex as she developed should have been a warning sign to me, in hindsight.

I should call her my stbx-wife, btw... My current partner is such a complete reversal that they might as well be considered different species. She did start sexually exploring even earlier than I did, and her sex drive remains at least as high as mine. Plus she has a very active sexual imagination and fantasy to-do list. She knows what she likes, we talk very easily and openly about what floats our boats... I don't know if she's like this because she explored sexually at an early age or vice versa, but before I chose a long term partner, I'll be asking a lot more questions than I considered when choosing my wife!

EDIT: oh, and before we met, my current partner and I were both once a day masturbators... Now, I don't think either of us has been self-serve in over a month, unless it happened mutually or as part of a playtime.

C
Posted via Mobile Device
PBear is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-20-2011, 07:59 AM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
Enchantment's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 2,350
Default Re: Percentage of masterbating women...

Quote:
Originally Posted by PBear View Post
MarriedGuy, my wife was like yours. Never masturbated, never had a sexual fantasy... The only toys we had were the ones I bought, and they stayed in the drawer till I took them out to play with her. Like your wife, she would orgasm easily by oral or intercourse, but she would rarely seek it out. I do believe that her lack of interest in sex as she developed should have been a warning sign to me, in hindsight.

I should call her my stbx-wife, btw... My current partner is such a complete reversal that they might as well be considered different species. She did start sexually exploring even earlier than I did, and her sex drive remains at least as high as mine. Plus she has a very active sexual imagination and fantasy to-do list. She knows what she likes, we talk very easily and openly about what floats our boats... I don't know if she's like this because she explored sexually at an early age or vice versa, but before I chose a long term partner, I'll be asking a lot more questions than I considered when choosing my wife!

EDIT: oh, and before we met, my current partner and I were both once a day masturbators... Now, I don't think either of us has been self-serve in over a month, unless it happened mutually or as part of a playtime.

C
Posted via Mobile Device
I think it's important to note that marriedguy and his wife are fairly young marrieds who were each other's first partners, correct? In this case, it's unlikely each would have an idea of what to expect sexually. That is why I think you have to look at your married life as a journey.

PBear, I don't know your particular story, but thinking back over your marriage, do you think there were different roads you could have travelled with your wife that may have made a difference?

In otherwords, don't expect that you will find someone day one to fulfill all of your wants, needs, and desires - even if you know what some of those are. It is about the journey and growing together.
__________________
Enter these enchanted woods, You who dare. ~ George Meredith
Enchantment is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-20-2011, 12:21 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,929
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enchantment View Post
I think it's important to note that marriedguy and his wife are fairly young marrieds who were each other's first partners, correct? In this case, it's unlikely each would have an idea of what to expect sexually. That is why I think you have to look at your married life as a journey.

PBear, I don't know your particular story, but thinking back over your marriage, do you think there were different roads you could have travelled with your wife that may have made a difference?

In otherwords, don't expect that you will find someone day one to fulfill all of your wants, needs, and desires - even if you know what some of those are. It is about the journey and growing together.
Oh, I'm sure there's things I could have done differently. I'd start be not marrying the first person I slept with. And I'm serious about that, not trying to be hurtful to my wife or anything. But having some sexual experience and confidence going into the relationship would have been a big plus.

Other than that, I really don't know what I should have done differently. At some point, people have to take responsibility for their own sexuality. If they won't, it will be very difficult for a spouse, especially for sn inexperienced spouse, to draw them out. As you said, don't expect to find someone who's perfect for you. But you will hopefully be able to find someone who can at least attempt to make that journey with you, rather than remain firmly entrenched in their current situation.

My story, btw... Wife was my first sexual partner, I was her second. I was 23 when we met, she was 20. Married 2 years later, together till this last Feb (17 years). The intimacy was a definite contributor to the breakdown, but more importantly was her refusal to make a reasonable effort at ANY issues, including things that she saw as issues but I was fine with (i.e. her weight). She wouldn't make changes on her own, she wouldn't seek help for them, she wouldn't let me help.

C
Posted via Mobile Device
PBear is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-20-2011, 04:33 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
marriedguy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 320
Default Re: Percentage of masterbating women...

PBear..are you a carve and copy of me in a different dimension?? Almost everything
you wrote about your first marriage is what me and my wife are..
Seriously..we were both in our early 20s..now its just about been four years...
We are still sweet to each other but I have learned sweet aint such a good thing..
By being sweet to each other all the time your hiding all tge small problems
that are building up...
My wife is also struggling with her weight..shes been on several diets..but can never
seem to commit to diets or working out.
I love working out...I get depressed if I dont..just the way I am..and it depresses
me to see my wife being sad about her weight and not really doing
anything about it..I think lack of exercise is a huge factor in my wifes insecuritys..and because
shes insecure its affecting our intimacy..
I also feel she hasnt really tried anything to spice up our sex life..like I said..her
almost never initiating makes it seem like I am the only one who needs sex..It would be
nice to see her hormones go to work every once in a while..
Posted via Mobile Device

Last edited by marriedguy; 06-20-2011 at 04:38 PM.
marriedguy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-20-2011, 04:45 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
marriedguy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 320
Default

Anyways Im just beating a dead horse here..Ive told my situation a billion times
on here already..was just wondering if its normal at all for women
to have a sexual awakening when theyre close to reaching the 30s..even if they
had never masterbated in their life..and been insecure about sex in general..
Posted via Mobile Device
marriedguy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-20-2011, 04:53 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Entropy3000's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: In Love
Posts: 9,897
Default Re: Percentage of masterbating women...

Quote:
Originally Posted by marriedguy View Post
Anyways Im just beating a dead horse here..Ive told my situation a billion times
on here already..was just wondering if its normal at all for women
to have a sexual awakening when theyre close to reaching the 30s..even if they
had never masterbated in their life..and been insecure about sex in general..
Posted via Mobile Device
Freudian slip?

Anyway, look into this for some help: Married Man Sex Life

It couldn't hurt.

You need to shake things up. Otherwise you run the risk of someone else doing it down the road. Just sayin.
Entropy3000 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-20-2011, 05:21 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
Enchantment's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 2,350
Default Re: Percentage of masterbating women...

Quote:
Originally Posted by marriedguy View Post
Anyways Im just beating a dead horse here..Ive told my situation a billion times
on here already..was just wondering if its normal at all for women
to have a sexual awakening when theyre close to reaching the 30s..even if they
had never masterbated in their life..and been insecure about sex in general..
Posted via Mobile Device
Okay. I will be blunt - TAKE THE LEAD.

Quit whining about what your wife will or won't do. Take ownership of the sexual relationship that you would like to have with your wife, and figure out ways to make that happen.

Look, 23 years ago, I WAS your wife. I was young and naive. I ended up being married to a guy who is what people would refer to as a total horn-ball. He took the leadership role in learning how to be the best lover for me that he could, he was patient and persistent in working on opening up the shell that encased certain parts of me. 23 years later and we are closer than I would have ever thought possible. It wasn't always easy, but it can be done. You can do it, but you have to take ownership of it.

Let me ask you this - do you think that you really satisfy your wife? Both in and out of the bedroom? Are you sure? Are you willing to push the envelope a bit to truly find out?

Marriage takes hard work, but the effort you put in is greatly rewarded.
__________________
Enter these enchanted woods, You who dare. ~ George Meredith
Enchantment is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-20-2011, 06:48 PM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
Enchantment's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 2,350
Default Re: Percentage of masterbating women...

hey marriedguy ~

I went back and read through your old posts. Throughout them, there is a patent sense of frustration and impatience with your wife. She likely feels this same vibe from you. If you want a sure-fire way to make your wife shut down on you and develop an aversion to having sex and experimenting with you, then frustration and impatience will do that. You need to be a calm, cool, and collected leader, not a frustrated and impatient one. Because thing is, if you end up with somebody else in the future and haven't worked on curbing those tendencies, it won't matter how sexual that partner is, either. You'll end up in the same place, as eventually the next partner will also become unattracted to an impatient, frustrated man.

So, my suggestion would be to work on yourself. The Men's Clubhouse has the Man Up/Nice Guy sticky - it has some good information on ways that you can look at becoming a better man. There's also MEM's Thermostat/Barometer thread that you should read. Try and see if you can curb some of those frustrations that you have with your wife, and instead channel them in a more positive way. You might find a more responsive wife by doing so.

God Bless!
__________________
Enter these enchanted woods, You who dare. ~ George Meredith

Last edited by Enchantment; 06-21-2011 at 07:55 AM.
Enchantment is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-20-2011, 07:41 PM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,907
Default Re: Percentage of masterbating women...

Marriedguy I remember your thread and you got some really good suggestions. Have you tried any of the suggestions with your wife? Enchantment is right on target and I believe your previous some post in your previous thread made the same analysis and suggestions. What did you think did you try and what happened. .

If you are looking for a magic fix , there really is none. There is an easy fix, you have to change the way you think about sex with your wife. You blame the problems on her and expect her to change to suit you.

However, the problems you are having is not because she is broken. She is good but shy and inhibited married to a man whose idea of getting her to come out of her shell is to be impatient, and frustrated.

I don't think it is likely that your wife will do anything you want in response to attitude. All you get is resistance because you are dealing with an autonomous person. She really does not have to initiate or do anything differently. She may feel she is being intimate with a man who does not appreciate her. You have to be careful, she may be resentful of your attitude

Why not change and be the type of man that she will gladly take a chance to come out of her shell . A fun, welcoming, light hearted, relaxed attitude is more effective than a heavy, angry, impatient one. In my opinion, intimacy is should be mutually enjoyable and loving don't you think.
Posted via Mobile Device

Last edited by Catherine602; 06-20-2011 at 07:49 PM.
Catherine602 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-20-2011, 08:55 PM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
marriedguy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 320
Default Re: Percentage of masterbating women...

Catherine I think ur right..Enchantment thanks for.the advice..

yeah I guess my wife is an Autominous person..so I gotta make EVERYTHING
happen as far as intimacy goea right?
Its what Ive been trying to do..at the very beginning I was very patient..kind..
Then I got a taste of sex and Ive been pushing for more extreme versions
of it since..
The past 14 days we have not had sex..I gave her Oral yesterday..she later
wanted to gave me a handjob..I lost my patience..so instead I didnt want
anything..
Thats my problem..I have a very hard time being patient..kind..loving when
I know that there aint to light at the end of the tunnel..
Im questioning if this relationship is worth it..I feel she has too much
patience..and insecurity issues about her weight..its ripping us apart..

I really want it to work..but it seems like theres no reward ever for being
Patient..she only thinks then thatt i am happy..when I really am not..just
pretending to me cuz I dont want to appear frustrated and grumpy all
the time..
Posted via Mobile Device
marriedguy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-20-2011, 08:57 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,929
Default Re: Percentage of masterbating women...

All I'll say is that having a partner who is actually interested in sex, who embraces her sexuality and isn't afraid of it, and who actually seems to give a damn about my pleasure as well as hers is an incredible experience. I mean, come on now. If the only change you see in 17 years of being married is a constant degradation in your sex life, how much more coaxing and enticing is the other partner supposed to do? At some point, your choices are to throw in the towel on making changes or leave. Acknowledging that as a couple, you're just not compatible.

I'm not saying that after 4 years it's time to throw in the towel, by any means. But if I knew then what I know now... I've reached an age where there's no guarantees how much more of a sex life my partner and I have. But you can be darn sure that sexual compatibility will rank way up there on the selection criteria when it comes to a committed relationship. Life's too short to spend the rest of it trying to coax a mouse out of a mouse hole.

C
Posted via Mobile Device
PBear is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Percentage of successful marriages that start as affairs? tacoma Long Term Success in Marriage 50 12-31-2013 06:25 PM
What percentage of guys who identify as straight diwali123 The Men's Clubhouse 161 06-04-2012 05:19 PM
What percentage here consider infidelity a deal killer regasrdless of effort after YupItsMe General Relationship Discussion 76 12-18-2011 08:07 PM
Sex/Masterbating is depressing (To Me) x2startermom Sex in Marriage 8 02-19-2010 06:54 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:12 PM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage