Novel:
I love my husband and he loves and cares about me more than any other person.
Some background:
We were surprised to find out before we got engaged (dated 3 years prior so it was coming no matter what) that we were expecting a baby. He seemed to have liked this scenario a bit more than I did since I was at the halfway point of finishing my degree and he's already graduated. So it was hard for me to come to terms with putting school off for a year.
We're also financially challenged. That causes some problems and worries for me. I was on a roll to a pre-professional degree so I was very determined to have that before starting a family while his degree in advertising is a little hard to put to use right now. So for the time being, I'm a stay at home mom/full time student and he's in retail. Times are very difficult.
The problem:
He's extremely patient with my not wanting to be intimate. I'm VERY scared that with all the birth control in the world that we're going to get pregnant again so we've only had sex once since we've had our son 9 months ago. I can't have two babies and finish my time consuming and stressful degree. With all the things I have to take on, it seems like being close with him is the last thing on my list. I know it shouldn't be like that. But it's gotten to where kissing becomes a hassle for me. I'm afraid it'll lead to him wanting more which comes to another argument as to why I wont get close to him. We've talked about all this and more but thinking that the next time we can enjoy sex will be after I graduate in four+ years seems a little strange.
I feel like all the pressure is on me. I want so badly for our son to have a home, not a tiny apartment, but a home. So in order for that to happen, I'll have to finish my schooling and begin my career. I'm scared I'll fail if we slip again and we'll forever be on food stamps. I want so much for our son. I want him to be in sports and go to birthday parties and us not stress about how we're going to pay for him to hang out with his friends.
I don't want to say anything because my husband works very hard at what he does to give us the things we need and I'm very thankful!! I don't want him to feel inadequate but his retail job so far wont get us very far. It just seems that our future is up to me and I'm so focused on that right now, I don't know how to concentrate on anything else. I stress very easily and this is freaking me out. Any time I bring this up I kind of feel like he's seeing it as an excuse to get out of having sex again.
I don't know if any of this is related to my issue but I mentioned it anyways. I WANT to be all over him and give him anything he wants but I can't right now. I know why I don't want sex but why don't I want to do other things for him? I feel selfish. I'm very aware of it. And it's not that I don't want to do things for him at all.
I love my husband and he loves and cares about me more than any other person.
Some background:
We were surprised to find out before we got engaged (dated 3 years prior so it was coming no matter what) that we were expecting a baby. He seemed to have liked this scenario a bit more than I did since I was at the halfway point of finishing my degree and he's already graduated. So it was hard for me to come to terms with putting school off for a year.
We're also financially challenged. That causes some problems and worries for me. I was on a roll to a pre-professional degree so I was very determined to have that before starting a family while his degree in advertising is a little hard to put to use right now. So for the time being, I'm a stay at home mom/full time student and he's in retail. Times are very difficult.
The problem:
He's extremely patient with my not wanting to be intimate. I'm VERY scared that with all the birth control in the world that we're going to get pregnant again so we've only had sex once since we've had our son 9 months ago. I can't have two babies and finish my time consuming and stressful degree. With all the things I have to take on, it seems like being close with him is the last thing on my list. I know it shouldn't be like that. But it's gotten to where kissing becomes a hassle for me. I'm afraid it'll lead to him wanting more which comes to another argument as to why I wont get close to him. We've talked about all this and more but thinking that the next time we can enjoy sex will be after I graduate in four+ years seems a little strange.
I feel like all the pressure is on me. I want so badly for our son to have a home, not a tiny apartment, but a home. So in order for that to happen, I'll have to finish my schooling and begin my career. I'm scared I'll fail if we slip again and we'll forever be on food stamps. I want so much for our son. I want him to be in sports and go to birthday parties and us not stress about how we're going to pay for him to hang out with his friends.
I don't want to say anything because my husband works very hard at what he does to give us the things we need and I'm very thankful!! I don't want him to feel inadequate but his retail job so far wont get us very far. It just seems that our future is up to me and I'm so focused on that right now, I don't know how to concentrate on anything else. I stress very easily and this is freaking me out. Any time I bring this up I kind of feel like he's seeing it as an excuse to get out of having sex again.
I don't know if any of this is related to my issue but I mentioned it anyways. I WANT to be all over him and give him anything he wants but I can't right now. I know why I don't want sex but why don't I want to do other things for him? I feel selfish. I'm very aware of it. And it's not that I don't want to do things for him at all.