Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Im just curious if there is anything sexually you wanted to do with your spouse, but they didnt like it so you gave up doing it. For me it was anal and looking at porn together. Neither deal breakers, and besides those two things she a freak in the bed. So what have yall given up?
Re: Have you ever made concessions in the bed room?
Can't say that I have. If anything, we've expanded our sexual repertoire. Whenever we've tried something new, it's always with the understanding that we both have to be comfortable with it to continue. Now, temporarily is another matter. After we first started indulging in anal sex, there was one time we both weren't quite in synch, and she didn't enjoy it as she had previously. So, she called a stop to it. For about a year, it was off the proverbial menu, and I was fine with that. Then, she was ready and willing to condor it again. We did, we enjoyed it, and we haven't looked back. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: Have you ever made concessions in the bed room?
Our experience has been similar to Grayson's. There are some things both of us are hesitant to try and we may never get around to doing them, there have been others that were on the menu, then off permanently after we both decided it wasn't quite like we expected, some that come and go and come back around again, and some that are old standbys and favorites.
I guess I wouldn't worry about it too much. If you have a good relationship with your wife - you're open with each and care about and respect each other - then you should be looking at this like a fantastic journey of discovery. Sometimes its slow and plodding, and sometimes it's like P-O-W! But it's something you can enjoy every step of the way if you don't fret it too much and you're taking it together.
Re: Have you ever made concessions in the bed room?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Enchantment
Our experience has been similar to Grayson's. There are some things both of us are hesitant to try and we may never get around to doing them, there have been others that were on the menu, then off permanently after we both decided it wasn't quite like we expected, some that come and go and come back around again, and some that are old standbys and favorites.
I guess I wouldn't worry about it too much. If you have a good relationship with your wife - you're open with each and care about and respect each other - then you should be looking at this like a fantastic journey of discovery. Sometimes its slow and plodding, and sometimes it's like P-O-W! But it's something you can enjoy every step of the way if you don't fret it too much and you're taking it together.
I guess one would call it making concessions. My x wife wanted basics. If I had mentioned anything too spicy, she would have had me taken off in a straight jacket.
Re: Have you ever made concessions in the bed room?
Anal. She won't even let me try it. And up until recently I thought I was going to have to give up on giving her oral. Still won't let me finger her anymore.
Anal. She won't even let me try it. And up until recently I thought I was going to have to give up on giving her oral. Still won't let me finger her anymore.
I have a question that I have asked several times to men who want to try anal with an unwilling wife. Would be willing to let her give you abal with a dildo the size of your penis? Let say she said I'll try if you will first and every time I let you you have to return the favor. How atractive does anal seem now?
I'd advise women who are being pestered by husbands for anal to purchase a dildo and when he begins to pester - pull that bad boy out, grease it up and put it on the bedside table. Tell him the above. Some men will give up at that point. :}}
Some will call your bluff just go along only to stop when he sees you have every intention of doing it and a few men will want it. If they do then you have a decision - can you maintain attraction to a man who likes anal sex on him.
I think this will get rid of 98% of the problem of men who will not give up the anal sex thing. When they have to face the pain and discomfort and possibility of a loose butt hole from repeated penetration they may be more compassionate and drop the idea. Posted via Mobile Device
I have a question that I have asked several times to men who want to try anal with an unwilling wife. Would be willing to let her give you abal with a dildo the size of your penis? Let say she said I'll try if you will first and every time I let you you have to return the favor. How atractive does anal seem now?
I'd advise women who are being pestered by husbands for anal to purchase a dildo and when he begins to pester - pull that bad boy out, grease it up and put it on the bedside table. Tell him the above. Some men will give up at that point. :}}
Some will call your bluff just go along only to stop when he sees you have every intention of doing it and a few men will want it. If they do then you have a decision - can you maintain attraction to a man who likes anal sex on him.
I think this will get rid of 98% of the problem of men who will not give up the anal sex thing. When they have to face the pain and discomfort and possibility of a loose butt hole from repeated penetration they may be more compassionate and drop the idea. Posted via Mobile Device
As a guy who always wanted to try try anal with my partner, your post made me smile. It's why I never pressured my wife when I expressed an interest and she declined... It seemed unfair to put any pressure on her if I wasn't big on trying it myself.
Re: Have you ever made concessions in the bed room?
I have had to give up this idea of my husband being a more take charge aggressive lover, moving me here & there firmy, telling me what he would like to do to me, stuff like that, probably stuff I get from watching too many erotic movies. I married a sensual lover, not one who will EVER be capable of rough housing me a little bit (bummer I will miss this experience) but we got everything else going on, I just have to do the rough housing.
Mine would NEVER want to try anal - he has absolutely no interest in that at all, never has.
Re: Have you ever made concessions in the bed room?
Quote:
Originally Posted by PBear
As a guy who always wanted to try try anal with my partner, your post made me smile. It's why I never pressured my wife when I expressed an interest and she declined... It seemed unfair to put any pressure on her if I wasn't big on trying it myself.
Re: Have you ever made concessions in the bed room?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandakiss
anal sex has been around long before porn. it date back to japan and the art of karma satura...
what is the big deal with anal and why all the bashing of it??
whats wrong with trying something once? i dont think every single wife fell to her knees the first night of the honeymoon, no you had to fell comfortable with it first.
does everyone swallow?? i bet not, and i bet not all said yum...sir can i have another...
why single out one bedroom act? why would you want to jam a dildo up your husbands ass??
husband dosent want to split you in two...just have fun and play around. maybe be different. porn does not dictate bedroom antics. porn is not the axsis of evil...
sexual actions are special because he is with you, not that skanky broad on the screen...
It may well date back to the karma sutra, however it was not a main stream bedroom desire before it was used regularly in porn. If you ask most men now in their 60's and 70's if anal was something they even thought about in high school and early married life, they will most likely tell you they thought it was just for gay men.
I am not against people trying it, and I quite like my fiance to play around there, in fact it turns me on but I understand why it's not for everyone, and men now seem to believe it should be just as much a part of sex as vaginal penetration, when in fact it's just not something men or women really thought much about previously and rightfully makes many women uncomfortable.
Re: Have you ever made concessions in the bed room?
Yes, but in my case it was unhealthy concessions. As in H wanted anal but refused to use lubricant. H did not want to use condom and considered withdrawal with abortion as a backup a perfectly acceptable form of birth control (I would not have aborted).
In a healthy relationship, I would be great in the sack.
In an unhealthy relationship, I seem to be only great in the sack in a one-sided way: great for him, not for me.
That is way too big of a concession.
Guys if your W doesn't want anal then make sure you know what is healthy in terms of the physical act and what is not. At the point I realized that I would get a tongue-lashing at the emergency room, for being so stupid, is where I drew the line. I did not want to have to experience that on top of what he put me through.
Also the explaining of how I got pregnant.
Concessions are one thing, but also consider what you are asking, and consider what concessions might be going on with the other person, that you might not know about.
Of course, I understand some people have health relationships, and concessions really are just that - concessions - out of respect for partner's present needs physical and/or emotional.
Re: Have you ever made concessions in the bed room?
The only thing that I will say after reading all these posts is that anything that is done between both partners needs to be consensual and non-coercive.
If a spouse is constantly pursuing and trying to coerce their partner in to doing something they are reluctant to, over time the partner can develop an aversion to the act and even to the spouse.
Like I always say - you gotta be more persuasive than coercive . Accept that everybody has their own personal boundaries, and don't get hung up on any one particular thing. If you have an open, honest, loving, respectful relationship with your spouse you may be surprised at what can happen.
Re: Have you ever made concessions in the bed room?
i gave up something bc H wasn't into it at all. he's so meek and mild when it comes to sex.i gave up my need for certain types of aggressive behavior. i fantasize about it but never asked him for it after the first time of him saying, "you seriously like it like that?!omg i can't stay hard if i'm treating you like that!"
since the thought of sex with him turns my stomach at the moment, I bet he'd be MORE than willing to try it MY way again just to be able to touch my body once more
Re: Have you ever made concessions in the bed room?
"Anal sex was not something most hetrosexual couples did untill it became a regular part of porn. It obviously feels better for us if we have vaginal sex, because that was what our vaginas are made for."
Actually, there is clitoral/sensitive tissue that extends to the anal area. And for men, there is access to their G-spot. There is definitely a pleasure-basis on both the male and female side. And - no chance of pregnancy. So definitely worth adding to the repertoire or choices. With a worthwhile partner who is just not in it for him/herself.
Have you ever made concessions in the bed room? 
