Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
I'm going to ask what may be a silly question. How are couples having sex 4 or more times per week? I've been married for 14 years and am in a really low sex marriage (about 6-9x per year). My wife has never really been ineterested in sex, and I've just kind of dealt with it; the most we've probably had sex in any one year is maybe 20x, even before getting married. I've become a lot more restless the past few years, and as I discuss the situation with friends and read this forum, I think 'wow, some people are having sex all the time and they've been married for years.' Prior to getting married, I was in a relationship with a woman who really liked sex, but we were living in two different states and only saw each other every now and then. In that case, for the weekend we saw each other, we did it a couple of times a day. However, that relationship broke up before we had a chance to be close to each other (physically) to see what a 'normal' relationship would have been like. So, in some respects, having sex 3, 4, 5x per week, is 'unimaginable', but I'd like to hear from people how it is manageable. I know I have to do something about the sex situation if I want it to improve, so, for me, it helps to learn how people are having sex so frequently. Thanks!
You're probably a "nice guy" too, there you have it..
--
I'm new here and actually joined to post a topic about my situation in the men's clubhouse. Me and the misses average at around 0 times a week while at the beginning of our relationship 'a day without sex is a day not lived' seemed to be the motto ranging from 1 to sometimes 6 times a day.
We were in a slump... but are workong on fixing our neglected problems... went from 1 or 2 a month to 2 to 3 a weeek mow. Married 2 years and 25 and 27. Posted via Mobile Device
My H is 28 I am 26 and we average about 4-5 times a week.I want more, but my H is usually pretty tired after work and I don't want to wear him out even more.
I guess I'll have to accept what I can get, but I would love it if he wanted me more often. *sigh*
<snip>
So, in some respects, having sex 3, 4, 5x per week, is 'unimaginable', but I'd like to hear from people how it is manageable.
If you mean "manageable" in the sense of 'how do I find the time?', then it's a bit like anything you really want to do - you find the time, by telescoping time spent on things you have to do but don't like, and by cutting out stuff you do that is unproductive. Get away from the TV
If you mean in terms of physical capability, then think like starting a firness / exercise programme. If you never run or lift a weight, going straight to running ten miles or bench pressing your bodyweight plus isn't going to happen. You have to build up your physical capabilities by doing stuff, then doing more and more as you become more capable. I'll stick my neck out here, but I'll reckon building your sexual capacity is a lot more fun than building your ability to run
Quote:
I know I have to do something about the sex situation if I want it to improve, so, for me, it helps to learn how people are having sex so frequently. Thanks!
Go to the men's clubhouse. Read the stuff on manning up. Go to Athol K's marriedmansexlife site. THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES THIS WILL WORK, but read that lot and you'll have some ideas to try. You know your wife and yourself. Fit some of this stuff to your situation, and see what happens. If it looks like a good way to get your wife to never speak to you again, don't do it. Set up a plan B and plan C in case it doesn't get you what you want from the first couple of things you try. And like fitness and exercise, do NOT expect results the next day, or the next week. You have to be in for the long haul.
We average out to 3 times a week, based on normally four times per week for roughly three weeks per month. Working away, competitions and periods tend to lose us about a week a month.
Can't really put a number on it for us cause eastcoastgirl works 12 hour shifts and swings between nights and days while I work standard 5 day a week. Those kinds of opposing schedules make it hard to average out. Its just kinda like whenever we are able to be in the same place at the same time and we are not exhausted from dealing with fools all day or night as it were.
Beyond that, if you aren't getting enough you take the lead and get you some more. me and eastcoastgirl made an agreement when we first got hitched that neither one of us would ever deny the other and we never have. We have been married 34 years and neither of us has ever told the other no.
My wife and I average about 1.5 times per week (just guessing). I wish it were more but would be happy with that amount if it wasn't always "hurry up and get it over with" sex.
I'm going to ask what may be a silly question. How are couples having sex 4 or more times per week?
Forget a week, how about 3-4 times in one day? Pre-kid that was the norm most days.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Master.of.the.Cave
I've become a lot more restless the past few years, and as I discuss the situation with friends and read this forum, I think 'wow, some people are having sex all the time and they've been married for years.'
We've been married for 18 years. Wifey has a pretty good drive but being "mommy" is a real drive killer for her. When we take off without the kids she's all over me. Then it's a matter of how much I can keep up. Now 4 times in a day is about all I can muster.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Master.of.the.Cave
I know I have to do something about the sex situation if I want it to improve, so, for me, it helps to learn how people are having sex so frequently. Thanks!
We've been married for 18 years. Wifey has a pretty good drive but being "mommy" is a real drive killer for her. When we take off without the kids she's all over me. Then it's a matter of how much I can keep up. Now 4 times in a day is about all I can muster.
Did you mean to say a week HERE or you got this right meaning up to 4 times a day -after 18 yrs married ?? I think your wife may be hornier than Random Dudes if so and alot older too! WOW
Me & mine never did X amount of times a day in our youth, I wish we had. I regret this so much, he told me he could have easily done it 3 times a day back then. He just never went after me like that, too respectful or something. I didn't know he was feeling like that either.
I sure went after him when I started feeling that way-like a frieght train - but he couldn't keep up with me. Pretty much once a day is his limit unless I pop him a Vitamin V. The guys at work used to joke with him that I was crushing it up & slipping it in his food.
God Bless Viagra. I am happy to live in this age of discovery.
Did you mean to say a week HERE or you got this right meaning up to 4 times a day -after 18 yrs married ??
Yep. I really like weekends away
They only really work if they are truly non-mom weekends. A nice time away, kids at grandma's with no stress about missing things and so on. Between the logistics and cost it doesn't happen often enough.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous
I think your wife may be hornier than Random Dudes if so and alot older too! WOW Me & mine never did X amount of times a day in our youth, I wish we had. I regret this so much, he told me he could have easily done it 3 times a day back then.
I almost hesitate to say what happened when we tried for child #2, cause I don't know if you'd believe me. DW was REALLY baby hungry and it showed.
4 days at a beach resort and we pretty much only left the room for meals.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous
I sure went after him when I started feeling that way-like a frieght train - but he couldn't keep up with me.
I'm looking forward to finding out what I can do
I know I couldn't keep up with 3-4 a day now but certainly 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous
Pretty much once a day is his limit unless I pop him a Vitamin V. The guys at work used to joke with him that I was crushing it up & slipping it in his food.
One of the nicest things my wife ever said to me was when someone was joking about using viagra for spicing things up for couples that don't necessary "need" it.
She piped up "Dear god no! That think can leave bruises as it is."
One of the nicest things my wife ever said to me was when someone was joking about using viagra for spicing things up for couples that don't necessary "need" it.
She piped up "Dear god no! That think can leave bruises as it is."
One of the nicest "compliments" I got from my girlfriend was when we were mmm, grinding/bumping uglies with our clothes on. She complained my iPhone was digging in and hurting her. I pointed out my iPhone on the dresser...
Re: How often? 
I know I have to do something about the sex situation if I want it to improve, so, for me, it helps to learn how people are having sex so frequently. Thanks!
I regret this so much, he told me he could have easily done it 3 times a day back then. He just never went after me like that, too respectful or something. I didn't know he was feeling like that either. 
