Ladies, I need tips on how to get my wife to masterbate - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #31 of 39 (permalink) Old 07-05-2011, 06:03 PM
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Talking Re: Ladies, I need tips on how to get my wife to masterbate

I can sort of identify with your wife. I didn't start masturbating until I was 31 (now 39). I had really never thought about it much. I guess I thought it was more of a selfish act, because it would have been done without my husband. I changed when I went into an adult novelty store to buy a sexy costume to wear for my husband and I saw all the vibrators and dildos. I started wondering what it would feel like to use one. So I bought one and I love it!!! It definatley makes me feel more sexual about myself. I just feels so good. Maybe suggest this with you wife, when you are down on her, ask her to show you WITH HER HAND what feels good and you then do it with your mouth or hand, that way she is touching herself too!!
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post #32 of 39 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 10:42 AM
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Re: Ladies, I need tips on how to get my wife to masterbate

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If she's never done it, it's probably because she's never wanted to.

Which brings me right back to my question: why so intent on her doing something she doesn't want to do?

So you think it's sexy. Great. If she doesn't want to do it...let it go. Otherwise, what if she finds it sexy for you to, say, hang from the ceiling suspended by Mr. Happy? ;-)
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I think I understand the OP. I myself have just recently breached the subject of my wife masturbating for me. I love to masturbate her and give her tremendous orgasms through masturbation. There are times when I am performing oral on her that if she stimulated her clitoris the mere sight/feel of her hand there "helping me out" is so erotically and sexually exciting it blows my mind. The sight of (if it ever happens) my wife masturbating while we are being intimate and working our way toward the actual act almost gives me an orgasm all by itself. It's very erotic and in my mind one of the biggest turn ons for me. We all have our buttons, my biggest one is the thought and hopes of watching my wife make herself orgasm for me. Yes it's very selfish to want her to do it for ME. But I think we all do things for our spouses that are not our favorite. Now keep in mind I would never force, bully, or demand it. But damn it sure would be exciting. I'll end this by challenging you to say you have never done anything to try and excite your husband. Hope I haven't come off as a jackass. sorry if I have
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post #33 of 39 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 11:18 AM
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Re: Ladies, I need tips on how to get my wife to masterbate

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I know it sounds lame and weird but a woman who doesn't masturbate has some deep fears. Body issues or worse, sexual problems from childhood where she was taught that this was wrong, so wrong in fact that she doesn't have a drive anymore.
Or MAAAAAYBEEEEEEE, she simply doesn't feel the physical need to masturbate because she's not horny enough to do so.

Nothing 'wrong' with that.
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post #34 of 39 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 12:47 PM
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Re: Ladies, I need tips on how to get my wife to masterbate

I just want to say this. Sometimes you men think in very rudimentary, typical sex vid ways of how women achieve orgasm via masturbation (self stimulation). The actual Act of self-stimulation is not a show. It's not smoke and mirrors and all the cutesy art that you think it is that is put on for you. It is all about getting there, just like when you masturbate. I'm sure the ladies reading this posted thread know exactly what I mean. We know exactly how to get there 😂 and trust me so do your wives that you think don't

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post #35 of 39 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 03:38 PM
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Re: Ladies, I need tips on how to get my wife to masterbate

Anytime you find yourself thinking or say "I want you to want to ...." stop. Just stop. It never works out well.

I understand the temptation to think that if she masturbated more, she would be more into sex with you. Might even be true. But wanting to get her to think that way is going to get you into all sorts of trouble. And as several of the ladies here have pointed out, not necessarily true. Masturbation is not sex. Masturbation is about selfishness and efficiency. Sex is about interacting. If she really liked being selfish and efficient, that might not cause her to want more interaction. In fact, the exact opposite might occur. Once she gets hers by herself quickly and easily, she might not want to invest in spending alot of time lying there while you fumble around. And no, she will never tell you that.

When you can see it coming, duck!
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post #36 of 39 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 03:41 PM
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Re: Ladies, I need tips on how to get my wife to masterbate

zombie!!!!!!!!


Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
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post #37 of 39 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 04:09 PM
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Re: Ladies, I need tips on how to get my wife to masterbate

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Yeah your right heartsbreaking..
Ive kinda screwed up the whole intimacy thing in our marriage by always pushing the bounderies..my wife is a very peacefull..happy..sensitive individual..shes definitely not the wild type, and my persistence has driven any wildness she had right out of her...keep asking myself..how can a person be that delicate?
BINGO! The sex therapist that worked with my wife and me on healing our sex starved marriage asked my Catholic raised wife if she had ever masturbated? My wife said no and that she felt it was a sin and if she had those kind of urges, she had a husband to take care of them.

The sex therapist was stunned. I am convinced she never masturbated and never will. As she explained to me as a teenager girl "educated" in an all girls catholic convent school taught by nuns, she was taught that masturbation was sinful and evil. If she even thought about it she was required to "confess" to a male priest about her thoughts/actions and pray for forgiveness. After being assured that my wife had and knew what an orgasm was, the sex therapist gave up on getting my wife to masturbate. I suggest you give up as well.

My wife doesn't seem to have a problem with my masturbating but after 45 years of marriage, I am sure she knows I will go to hell no matter what she tries to tell me.

Seriously, you can't change your wife and you shouldn't try to make he change to do what you want. You can negotiate with her, but ultimately the decision is hers and not yours.

Find other things to focus on than getting her to do something you want her to do.

Good luck.
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post #38 of 39 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 05:55 PM
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Ladies, I need tips on how to get my wife to masterbate

Forum Rule 17: Thou shall not zombie.
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post #39 of 39 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 10:40 PM
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Re: Ladies, I need tips on how to get my wife to masterbate

This thread is about 6 years old.. the OP is not reading....

ZOMBIE

IT'S CLOSED

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