My husband doesn't find me attractive
Hi, I'm new here and came across this site looking for some advice.
I'm 28, my husband is 35, we've been together for 5 1/2 years, married for just under 2.
My husband and I always had a healthy sex life, say 3 times a week. My problem is that somehow we got in the habit that for whenever we would have sex it would involve a process of me getting changed into a nice outfit, putting on sexy lingerie, high heels, doing make up etc... It has been that way since the start of our relationship. While I want to look attractive for my husband I also want to have sex with him when I'm just "me" not all dressed up as his "ideal woman". We can be having a bit of a cuddle on the sofa and he will turn to me and say "do you want to go upstairs and put some heels and things on?" which to me says "yeah I'm up for a fool around but I don't think you're attractive enough as you are so can you turn into someone else". I also get a phone calls saying "I'll be home at 7 are you going to be waiting all dressed up for me" I could of been up for a fool around but he says something like that and it takes me right down to wanting nothing. Why can't you just come home and we fool around as we are?
Maybe I'm over reacting but every time I've tried to talk to him about it he says "but you know how much I like it" so I ask him what is wrong with me as I am to which he says "nothing, but you know I like you all dressed up" however the past couple months its got worse, and he will be asking for sex with me all dressed up and I'll say lets just go up to bed now and all of a sudden he's tired and doesn't want it anymore. Surely if he wanted sex 2 minutes ago he still wants it now?! And in the past 2months I can count on my hands the amount of times we've had sex.
I'm not a super model but I'm not an unattractive person, I take pride in my apperance, make sure I'm wearing nice clothes, have make up on etc... so it's not like I'm looking like a slob! but it's got the point where I feel so ugly and undesireable and I really don't know why he doesn't want me as I am. I fear I may have made a rod for my own back by having always done it in the past, but surely my husband should want to have sex with me even if I'm not all dressed up?
I hope you don't think I'm over reacting and I apologise for the long post, but i'm feeling so low and would appreciate some advice.