Re: My husband will go down on other woman but not on me
My perception is currently warped due to my own issues but it sounds like he is using withholding as a weapon, also that he has done it to someone else right in front of you, after saying he would not. It's just wrong. You are right, this is a double standard. I wonder if he is having his cake and licking the icing somewhere else. I mean, really, it does not sound like he's on your side at all. Any man can wash the dishes. Mine made a point of it and would tell EVERYONE how he washed the dishes. He hated the new dishwasher in the new house. Even after I pointed out it is cheaper than hand-washing because less use of hot water he insisted on washing the dishes. He stole a whole jug of dishwashing fluid from his work and brought it home before he left and said it would still be there because I wouldn't use it I would use the dishwasher, like it was somehow pathetic to not hand wash dishes...ignoring the fact I am allergic to what he stole to bring home. Anyway, he wanted to point out that he must care about me deeply, because he did the DISHES. Once in a while he would make the bed, meaning fold the sheet up and throw a cover on it. He also paid bills on time. And bbq'd and cooked (but usually when it pleased him, otherwise he would offer to get take out, likely so he could take his cell and go make calls to his posse of women).
If your H's actions in the sack are not lining up with how he is portrayed in your life, pay attention. Sex is supposed to be FUN and you are supposed to be able to ENJOY IT. Not wonder if you are going to. While jumping through hoops and being humiliated in the process. My big mistake was watching a sex instruction video from the Sinclair Institute in order to figure out why I was having trouble orgasmiing (well, after I found out my H was cheating and lying...it did take that)....hmmm the video I selected at the recommendation of my case manager was one that had married couples. What I saw was not so technically adept perhaps as my husband's repertoire in terms of showcasing, but it was way far advanced in terms of mutual pleasure and exploration, and well, the love showed. I commented to the case manager that after 20 minutes of watching, I would want to go to sleep because it was ummmmm so pleasant and dreamy. Not like sex with my H which was all about manipulation, dominance and control, disguised by telling me I needed to 'relax' so I could have an orgasm and that I must be 'frigid'.