Enchantment

I am not sure the OP's definition of submissive (doing oral sex on the woman only) is what I think of as submissive. I guess I think of submissive as someone who wants to give control of the sexual relationship over to the other person. They want to be dominated by their partner, and this likely can take many different forms.

In any case, I am sure that if you take the time to get to know any prospective partners, averagejoe, you will find someone right for you.

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Enter these enchanted woods, You who dare. ~ George Meredith

the guy

Sorry to interupt, but my $0.02 is, it is one thing to have a women on top, and its another thing to willing take beating to protect your chicks honor.

In addition its all good to *play* that game in the bed, but at the end of the day it is the mans role to protect his women.

So I know I'm going to catch sh8t for this, so for those of you who want to hate me, then go kill your own spiders, go out in the middle of the night and find that noice, go and step in front of that danger on your own!

My point, don't confuse submission with courage, the courage not only to take but to give!

averagejoe

I'm not sure where you are getting at here.

I am more than capable of defending a woman and I don't have any less courage than any other guy has. I have boxed and competed for about 6 years so if things come to it... I know how to handle myself(just saying this incase people think I'm some wuss)

I guess as some people have pointed out "submissive" might be the wrong word.

I'll try to explain more clearly.

I want a woman who can take charge somewhat, isn't afraid to get things going...

I get the impression though, that most women are fairly... passive you know? They wait for the man to initiate and it's all on the mans conditions.... I kinda want the opposite.

I realise I obviously has to find a woman who is a good match sexually. But it's not always so easy to know that before you get married.

averagejoe

This might sound like a stupid question but before marriage do people talk about sex and things like that beforehand or do they wait until the wedding night and just sees how it goes?

Because you don't really get to know what sex will be like until you get married so you don't know if that person is a good match for you in that way.

MGirl

So what you're saying is that you'd like your lady(in the future) to be somewhat sexually aggressive? Does that wording sound better to you than saying you want to be submissive? Sounds like what you're getting at.

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Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde

Homemaker_Numero_Uno

You got that right.
My husband failed that test.
I mean, my STBXH. Mr. 100% condom use (sarcastic) control freak who tried to get me pregnant at age 47.

Cara

A submissive man is a huge turn off for me.

That said, for a man to give (but not recieve) oral is not passive. It could just be knowing what he wants & going after it. I would feel like my husband was taking control if he behaved this way- if he was determined that I be satisfied.

Now, if you do this by asking if you can give but not recieve & keep bothering her with inane questions ("Is this ok? Did I hurt you? Is it ok if I...?) it comes off like you are a pleaser, which is the best way to kill the mood with a woman who is looking for a manly man. But, as I'm sure you know, there are many women out there who like to be in control in bed. I doubt you will have any trouble finding one who meets your needs. Like another eply said, there are whole websites devoted to these relationships.

If my husband wanted to be submissive (tied up, spanked, dominated by me) I would have a very hard time playing along. Seeing him that way would make my stomach turn To me, there is nothing sexier in my marriage than my husband taking complete control. At least, I think there's nothing sexier. It would have to have happened at some point for me to know for sure. I guess my husband being dominent is my fantasy.