Dirty talk
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 07-10-2011, 10:22 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Dirty talk

My husband always wants me to talk dirty to him during sex. It makes me feel cheap and used. I told him how I feel and he doesn't seem to care. Would this be considered a form of abuse?
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Old 07-10-2011, 10:34 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dirty talk

Talking dirty is fun sometimes it just spices things up but if you aren't up for it stand your ground and don't do it. personally I think you both should give some ground here and there and accommodate the others desires. but if anything is an absolute no for you or him then you should tell the other no and why and they should accept your wishes too.
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Old 07-10-2011, 11:00 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dirty talk

I would agree with the other poster, but add that it's hardly abuse. Just because someone asks you to do something you don't want to do, even repeatedly, doesn't make it abusive. Otherwise, a lot of parents of teenagers would be in jail for asking their kids to get out of bed and clean their rooms.

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Old 07-10-2011, 11:05 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dirty talk

I agree with Stonewall.

Your husband should respect your inability to feel comfortable doing this, and you should respect his apparent desire for something different. You both need to work together on other things that you BOTH like and are willing to do.

I know my husband would like ****ty, dirty talk too, but honestly I just start giggling and cracking up - it just isn't me to be like this. We kind of compromise in that I whisper things - not necessarily really dirty or foul languaged - and then I give him little smirks and kisses, and he seems satisfied with that.

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Old 07-10-2011, 11:53 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dirty talk

To me dirty talk doesn't have to be dirty.

I agree that being verbal can be very difficult. However being verbal in sex makes it more real. It also provides more feedback to my partner. I think there is something quite erotic and powerful about the voice of my lover.
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Old 07-10-2011, 12:39 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dirty talk

A LONG time ago in another lifetime, a knew a girl that would be really turned on by this.

her favorite thing to say was :

"Eff me like the b!tch that I am!"

The only thing is, it just made me laugh more than anything. But she'd say it pretty seriously.

Needless to say, the b!tch that she apparently was, wasn't for me ultimately.
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Old 07-10-2011, 12:51 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dirty talk

Abuse? I think that's being a bit dramatic. I find it difficult to understand why you would feel "cheap" talking dirty during sex with your husband, assuming it is just you two alone in a private space. Most men want a classy woman outside the bedroom and a "s!ut" inside the bedroom. His asking you for dirty talk indicates your sex together is becoming routine and he's trying to instill a bit of variety and excitement into it. Read this forum about some of the "fetishes" people have written about themselves or their partners and count your blessings. The next time you have sex with your husband, act like a s!ut and keep him happy.

Last edited by BigToe; 07-10-2011 at 12:52 PM. Reason: spelling errors
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Old 07-10-2011, 01:21 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dirty talk

What type of dirty talk makes you feel used? You don't have to say degrading things. You can say thinks like "Eff me with your big co ck" or "Do you like that, you nasty boy?" or "Yeah, rub my ____" stuff like that.

I would encourage you to maybe figure out why this makes you feel degraged (especially with someone who loves you and married you) and see if you can meet in the middle.
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Old 07-10-2011, 10:17 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I like a little dirty talk, helps keep me in the zone! Otherwise my mind want to think of all the things I have forgotten to do before bed (putting the clothes in the dryer) lol! It's harmless, you just have to work your way into it.
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Old 07-11-2011, 09:42 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dirty talk

mmmmmm....I love me some dirty talk in bed!

I am usually the one who does it, sometimes hubby will join in.

I am 36 now. When I was in my early 20's and with EX dh, I was very timid and when he brought up that we should "dirty talk", I was very embarrassed and shocked he would want to.
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Old 07-11-2011, 09:46 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dirty talk

love dirty talk too...

but the minute anyone asks me, "Who's your daddy" i will promptly laugh my butt off
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Old 07-11-2011, 09:57 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteRabbit View Post
love dirty talk too...

but the minute anyone asks me, "Who's your daddy" i will promptly laugh my butt off
hahaha No kidding!
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Old 07-11-2011, 11:46 AM   #13 (permalink)
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My husband wants me to talk about having sex with other men and repeatedly has me talk about f--king other men. He wants me to call old partners when we are having sex, wants me to have sex with them and then tell him about it. He takes pics of me and then wants me to send them to other men.
It seems the only way he gets "off" is this way.
I am so hurt and tired and it has caused me to not want to be with him. He says its all just games but not for me, he takes it so far and I never feel the "connection" with him.
To make matters worse I was molested as a child and this triggers all kinds of bad feelings.
I've tried for years to please him but now I'm past all that and in menopause and just want the real connection. I keep myself fit and looking good but it's not the relationship I want with my husband. He is overweight and makes me feel like his ***** and not his love. We have been together for 15years and I feel disconnected more and more....
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Old 07-11-2011, 12:46 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dirty talk

So just humor him is it that hard , whats the big deal is it really that horrid . Do you think he likes everything he does for you ... in and out of the bed room.
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Old 07-11-2011, 04:21 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dirty talk

Quote:
Originally Posted by complicated View Post
My husband wants me to talk about having sex with other men and repeatedly has me talk about f--king other men. He wants me to call old partners when we are having sex, wants me to have sex with them and then tell him about it. He takes pics of me and then wants me to send them to other men.
It seems the only way he gets "off" is this way.
I am so hurt and tired and it has caused me to not want to be with him. He says its all just games but not for me, he takes it so far and I never feel the "connection" with him.
To make matters worse I was molested as a child and this triggers all kinds of bad feelings.
I've tried for years to please him but now I'm past all that and in menopause and just want the real connection. I keep myself fit and looking good but it's not the relationship I want with my husband. He is overweight and makes me feel like his ***** and not his love. We have been together for 15years and I feel disconnected more and more....


Dirty talk only works if itís respectful to the both of you. Sounds like he just has a fetish.
Dirty talk between a husband and wife that are in love and just enjoying each other is different than a man that is trying to have a secret fantasy.
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