Re: Wife feels "touched out"
Seven years ago we were in a very similar position. We had a 3.5 year old (who didn't sleep through the night very often, and was up for the day before 5am) and a nearly 1 year old who breastfed throughout the day and night. My husband worked away M-F. I used the phrase "touched out" more than once, and it was true, I felt like I was being pulled at all day. But mostly I was resentful and angry. And exhausted ... really, really exhausted.
I was resentful that he'd get to sleep through the night, stay in a nice, clean, QUIET hotel room, have meals brought to him, interact with adults without being interrupted by children/babies constantly, have time to take an entire shower without someone needing something urgently. So, so resentful.
Meanwhile, he was stressed (job-related), he missed us, he had nothing to do in the town he stayed in so he got into the habit of working, constantly, until late at night, which made it harder for him to switch off from work-mode when he was home.
He'd come home on weekends, I felt he just dumped his washing and basically behave like he was still staying in a hotel (I can see in retrospect this wasn't accurate but at the time that's how it felt).
Our communication during the week while he was away lessened over time which made our general connection with each other lessen. It was horrible, easily the worst time in our marriage.
In the end, I weaned the baby (I desperately needed more sleep and she was eating well on solids by then anyway) and that particular client job ended so he wasn't traveling as much. Even so, after this it took a LONG time for us to get back on track.
I don't necessarily think your situation will reflect mine apart from the obvious similarities but I will say this. A lot of posts on this (apparently pro-marriage) website seem to set relationships up like a battle: don't apologise, don't give something unless you get what you want first, treat them a particular way to get them to do what you want. In my experience, a marriage like that is not a good marriage. I think you both need to be on the same page and wanting the same thing and working for it together (I know this isn't easy).
Do you have an end-point for the travel? Would it be worth moving your family nearer your job? What does your wife see as a solution? Is her solution realistic? Is there a compromise?
I do wish you well, and hope you can both work together to feel more connected and happier in your marriage.