Re: Wife feels "touched out"
I agree with RoseAglow. It's very difficult to have a marriage when you're apart so much.....it's the reason so many military marriages fall apart. I saw a ton of it in the army, the cheating while apart is horrendous.
A surprising number of them who stay together open up the marriage.....I have no idea how that works long term but I've seen it done.
There are certain people who can manage these separations but one of the big challenges they face is that while the traveling/deployed/whatever spouse is gone the spouse running the homefront gets used to taking care of everything and basically being single, then when spouse gets home it takes a lot of adjusting to come back together. And that's just for running the home, not the marital relationship, and if you're heading back out again you never really get to establish that bond. So you come home looking for sex but to your wife you're kind of a stranger.
When my hb got laid off last year he explored a couple of traveling jobs and I hit the roof.....I told him I didn't get married to be alone half the time. He realized that if he wanted to stay married he'd better find something local, which he did. Pays a little less but so what? We're together.
It may be that your wife simply can't go back and forth like this.....by all means talk to her but understand that at the end of the day you being gone all the time is likely not going to work. I get that it's not what the guys here want to hear and I think it's a fine thing that you're supporting the family but it's going to come at the expense of the marriage.
So let's say you tell her that you can't go on like this and if things don't change it's over; let's examine who's going to get the better deal.
As Rose already pointed out you're going to pay a ton of alimony and CS and you're going to have a tough time getting much custody when you travel all the time.
Your wife already has to take care of most things so it won't be that much of an adjustment for her. She'll meet another guy who is around, and you'll try to meet another women who you also won't see because you'll still be traveling. Eventually you're going to realize that you can't make anything work out while you're gone all the time so you'll end up getting another job which might pay less but you'll still be on the hook for alimony and CS. True your wife will need to get a job but so what? It's not that big of a deal and she might be happier.....I got a job when I divorced my ex and it was no big deal. I was already taking care of everything (he did very little besides work) and getting a job was frankly better then being home (for me), and he had to pay CS. I didn't even ask for alimony and I was still better off, not much changed except that I didn't have to listen to him b!tch and paw at me. He was also gone for long periods (military) and I was glad when he left because he was a jerk. But part of that could have been that we had no real connection and with him coming and going there was never going to be one. I don't think he was capable of one but we didn't have much of a chance.
So why not take another job now even if it pays less? At least then you'll be around to try to salvage your marriage; you're not going to lose anything because eventually you're going to have to stop traveling, whether you're still married to your wife or not. But if you're divorced your hit will be much bigger.
If your wife complains about less money tell her that you can't have a marriage if you're not together so you'll have to figure out how to manage. If that means she goes to work to help out so be it.
If she really wants you gone that will say a lot about how she views you.
Last edited by lifeistooshort; 02-07-2016 at 06:43 AM.