New sexual moves
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » New sexual moves

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 07-14-2011, 09:26 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default New sexual moves

Say you've been married for years and you've become familiar and intimate with what your husband ~ or wife ~ does in bed and then, one day, he or she does something completely different sexually.

It's certainly a sexual move neither of you have ever explored ~ ever.

My husband did this more than a few times.

He also shaved himself, his genitals completely ~ something he never did.

He me that all of this ~ the shaving, the new sexual moves ~ was the result of watching porn and learning from that.

These behaviors sound too much like red flags for... cheating... to me.

I'm wondering if anyone else on here has experienced something like this and then discovered that their husband or wife was cheating.
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Old 07-14-2011, 10:01 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: New sexual moves

Yes. After years of same boring sex he offered a few new suggestions.

Also shaved his bits.

Discovered he had been cheating, but not that these changes alerted me to it, it was because I stumbled upon him chatting to a woman on the computer one night.

As a side note, maybe it was up to me to offer a few new sexual positions as well instead of just putting up with what he offered.

Maybe your husband is getting these ideas from porn. Keep an eye out for other signs of a cheating spouse.

Gee, makes me feel so dumb that others can be so aware of changes in their partner that they get suspicious of cheating. I was so blind to the signs. Good luck.
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Old 07-14-2011, 11:50 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: New sexual moves

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These behaviors sound too much like red flags for... cheating... to me.
I don't know if I would jump to that conclusion right away. It's just as possible that he's been investigating porn and getting ideas from it.

I could find logic in suggesting that if he were cheating and doing all those things with another woman, he probably wouldn't be wasting his time trying them on you. You'd end up with 30 seconds of missionary.
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Old 07-15-2011, 12:20 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: New sexual moves

As a guy who has cheated on his wife... At the point I had shaved my bits, she hadn't seen then for months, and never did see them after. And any new moves were exercised after I left the marriage. So I would go with his story as truth unless there's something else. Heck, I try new things with my current GF, and I don't watch porn and I'm not cheating on her. I just enjoy the intimacy with her, and am responding to her sexually. But she has asked me "Where did THAT come from?"

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Old 07-15-2011, 12:55 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I could find logic in suggesting that if he were cheating and doing all those things with another woman, he probably wouldn't be wasting his time trying them on you. You'd end up with 30 seconds of missionary.
Yup, that explains why I got 30 seconds (oops almost typed minutes, I wish) of missionary.
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Old 07-15-2011, 02:14 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: New sexual moves

I'm so like you MsWren ~ or I was. I was pretty much blind to all the signs ~ jeez, who am I kidding, red huge banners! ~ anyway, I forgot to mention earlier that I discovered my husband had a "whole secret life online." And it was only afterwards when I began revisiting the history of our marriage that I thought of these "unique" things from the past.

Now I can't help thinking that he was actually meeting up with people. He was chatting and looking at porn all the time when I was at home, but unaware in another part of the house.

Now I don't trust him at all ~ because of all the lies.

So I was wondering if this behavior of shaving and new moves which occurred while he was in his "secret life" phase, meant... PA.
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Old 07-15-2011, 05:34 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: New sexual moves

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Originally Posted by Song View Post
Say you've been married for years and you've become familiar and intimate with what your husband ~ or wife ~ does in bed and then, one day, he or she does something completely different sexually.

It's certainly a sexual move neither of you have ever explored ~ ever.

My husband did this more than a few times.

He also shaved himself, his genitals completely ~ something he never did.

He me that all of this ~ the shaving, the new sexual moves ~ was the result of watching porn and learning from that.

These behaviors sound too much like red flags for... cheating... to me.

I'm wondering if anyone else on here has experienced something like this and then discovered that their husband or wife was cheating.

Do your relationship a favor and don't convince yourself of cheating without real evidence.

I do stuff like that on a regular basis and I have never cheated. Been married 34 years. I do those things because I'm tiring to keep it fresh and not vanilla.

I am constantly looking for new ways to excite her. Nothing, really nothing makes me as happy as hearing her get so satisfied that she moans and squeals with delight at orgasm. The louder the more intense.

Could he be cheating? Well yeah its possible but a false accusation on that level is one of the most hurtful and dangerous things things I have experienced. My thoughts at the time were; if i'm going to be tried, convicted and sentenced over something I didn't do then I might as well go ahead and enjoy the benefits of it and do it. It was difficult to get beyond.

The long and the short of it is he may be just like me and tring to spice up your relationship so be careful how you proceed with this.

Good luck
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Old 07-15-2011, 08:29 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: New sexual moves

After reading most of the replies here, there are some valid points for you to 'suspect' him of cheating.

It's also possible that he's just keeping things fresh and spicy because he truly loves you.

The only sure-fire way is to find out what's really happening.

Last edited by Closer; 07-15-2011 at 08:30 AM. Reason: typo
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Old 07-15-2011, 08:40 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: New sexual moves

Well, my guy also spiced up our sex life a little. We've been together for 9 years, so there's a lot of sex to be had. Still, I wouldn't just jump right to considering him a cheat (I actually wouldn't expect this from him at all), and he didn't really watch porn from what I know (not that I would have anything against it, as long as it's keeping it to a "normal" level). I have to say I do enjoy his new ideas in bed and they keep our sex life interesting and pleasant.

As Stonewall suggested, don't accuse without true evidence, I wouldn't be happy either if my man suggested I am not playing fair, I assume your man wouldn't like it either.
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Old 07-16-2011, 08:01 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Well, my guy also spiced up our sex life a little. We've been together for 9 years, so there's a lot of sex to be had. Still, I wouldn't just jump right to considering him a cheat (I actually wouldn't expect this from him at all), and he didn't really watch porn from what I know (not that I would have anything against it, as long as it's keeping it to a "normal" level). I have to say I do enjoy his new ideas in bed and they keep our sex life interesting and pleasant.

As Stonewall suggested, don't accuse without true evidence, I wouldn't be happy either if my man suggested I am not playing fair, I assume your man wouldn't like it either.

Nice input, dojo. I think that the guy's really trying hard to keep things new and exciting. He's putting in the effort, that's for sure.
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Old 07-16-2011, 11:59 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Nice input, dojo. I think that the guy's really trying hard to keep things new and exciting. He's putting in the effort, that's for sure.
And automatically assuming it's for the worst reasons is going to really incentivise him to keep doing it
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Old 07-16-2011, 12:47 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: New sexual moves

I have mixed feelings about this. My wife of 11 years started shaving bare all of a sudden and we had a very nice "surge" in our sex life. I had sudgested the shaving in the past and she always said that she did not want to, because a little hair down their made her feel like a woman (little landing strip).

2 months later I found out she was cheating on me.
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Old 07-16-2011, 06:49 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: New sexual moves

Turns out that this was a huge red flag ~ a person doesn't suddenly "change" without some assistance somewhere. Well, that's what happened to me anyway.

I suppose I was just asking to find reassurance otherwise....
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Old 07-16-2011, 08:27 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: New sexual moves

Sometimes with a mate who's picture is next to 'dead fish' in the dictionary you just try to break the mold and try ANYTHING.
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Old 07-19-2011, 12:49 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: New sexual moves

Because a guy wants to please his wife, he's cheating? So he tried something new? What's wrong with that?
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