Mixed feelings about wife and co-worker
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 07-15-2011, 08:59 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Mixed feelings about wife and co-worker

Long story - I'll try and keep it short - can explain more if necessary.

Firstly my wife is more than 12 years younger than me and we have both been married before - this time for fifteen years.

A month or so ago she went to a conference with her work. Four days over the weekend - Friday to Monday. When she got back she told me that there had been a mix up with the accommodation and that she had ended up sharing a twin room with a male co-worker from another branch - he about ten years younger than her - but, she said "nothing happened".

I was surprised at my reaction. Sort of both angry but also aroused. We had good sex that night.

Over the next few days I quizzed her further. "What did she wear to sleep?" (we sleep naked at home). Her underwear. "Did she take off her bra?" Yes. "What did he sleep in?" His boxers. "Where did they dress?" Mostly in the bathroom. "Mostly?" And so on.

Each day (and night) my questioning revealed a little more detail and, to be honest, the hornier I got and the better the sex was between us. My wife couldn't fail to notice the effect each extra bit of salicious detail was having on me. "It turns you on to think of me in such an intimate situation with another guy, doesn't it?" I had to admit that it did.

She still insists that "nothing happened" but with each additional bit of detail the definition of nothing is narrowing.

I'm no longer sure that what she is telling me is true or whether she is spicing it up for effect (she swears she would only tell me the truth). Either way it is working. For example, "Did he see your naked breasts?" Yes.

I'm not sure what all this means about me and our marriage. Am I pervert? Is she? The sex between us is great, but surely it cannot last and there is a risk it all ends in tears.

Any advice? Anyone have similar experiences?

Thanks.

Last edited by Malky1954; 07-15-2011 at 09:00 AM. Reason: Typo
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:09 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Mixed feelings about wife and co-worker

She cheated on you and you are so turned on you believe nothing happened. Shows how an aroused man can't think straight.

No business would condone their behavior.

Did she actually have a reservation? A weekend business trip. Could be. What alleged business was this? Can she prove it?
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:13 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Mixed feelings about wife and co-worker

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She cheated on you and you are so turned on you believe nothing happened. Shows how an aroused man can't think straight.

No business would condone their behavior.

Did she actually have a reservation? A weekend business trip. Could be. What alleged business was this? Can she prove it?
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If she was cheating on him, she didn't need to tell him the story!

Common sense!

A cheating person wouldn't go home and tell her man what happened!
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:14 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Mixed feelings about wife and co-worker

Are you kidding me? This was preemptive because he could have found out another way.
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:18 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Mixed feelings about wife and co-worker

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Long story - I'll try and keep it short - can explain more if necessary.

Firstly my wife is more than 12 years younger than me and we have both been married before - this time for fifteen years.

A month or so ago she went to a conference with her work. Four days over the weekend - Friday to Monday. When she got back she told me that there had been a mix up with the accommodation and that she had ended up sharing a twin room with a male co-worker from another branch - he about ten years younger than her - but, she said "nothing happened".

I was surprised at my reaction. Sort of both angry but also aroused. We had good sex that night.

Over the next few days I quizzed her further. "What did she wear to sleep?" (we sleep naked at home). Her underwear. "Did she take off her bra?" Yes. "What did he sleep in?" His boxers. "Where did they dress?" Mostly in the bathroom. "Mostly?" And so on.

Each day (and night) my questioning revealed a little more detail and, to be honest, the hornier I got and the better the sex was between us. My wife couldn't fail to notice the effect each extra bit of salicious detail was having on me. "It turns you on to think of me in such an intimate situation with another guy, doesn't it?" I had to admit that it did.

She still insists that "nothing happened" but with each additional bit of detail the definition of nothing is narrowing.

I'm no longer sure that what she is telling me is true or whether she is spicing it up for effect (she swears she would only tell me the truth). Either way it is working. For example, "Did he see your naked breasts?" Yes.

I'm not sure what all this means about me and our marriage. Am I pervert? Is she? The sex between us is great, but surely it cannot last and there is a risk it all ends in tears.

Any advice? Anyone have similar experiences?

Thanks.
My husband would be aroused too!

Men are interesting!

I think it tells me that men are less jealous than women. I guarantee the male co-worker's girl friend or wife will have a totally different reaction, screaming or yelling I am sure!

Just view it as a fantasy, if it turns you on, then it turns you on!
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:21 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Mixed feelings about wife and co-worker

I am really surprised that you can blow off the obvious red flags. You'd tolerate this from your h?
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:29 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Mixed feelings about wife and co-worker

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I am really surprised that you can blow off the obvious red flags. You'd tolerate this from your h?
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It's not my business to make an assumption if she is cheating or not!

If she is cheating, then she is good at cheating. She actually goes home and tells her husband what happened! I don't know how many people would be this smart!

I am a woman, I don't find it amusing if my husband shares a room with another woman. But the OP finds it arousing, it's not surprising for me to know. He is a MAN!
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:30 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Mixed feelings about wife and co-worker

Before her business trip, did you share any cuckold fantasies with her?
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Last edited by morituri; 07-15-2011 at 09:31 AM. Reason: eta
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:35 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Before her business trip, did you share any cuckold fantasies with her?
Not as such. We've always been open about our previous sexual experiences and commented honestly on the attractiveness (or otherwise) of other people - but never suggested that either of us might have sex with another.
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:38 AM   #10 (permalink)
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My husband would be aroused too!

Men are interesting!

I think it tells me that men are less jealous than women. I guarantee the male co-worker's girl friend or wife will have a totally different reaction, screaming or yelling I am sure!

Just view it as a fantasy, if it turns you on, then it turns you on!
Thanks, Greenpearl.

Thing is I'm not sure how much is fantasy and how much is true - or how much I want to be fantasy and how much I want to be true!
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:42 AM   #11 (permalink)
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A month or so ago she went to a conference with her work. Four days over the weekend - Friday to Monday. When she got back she told me that there had been a mix up with the accommodation and that she had ended up sharing a twin room with a male co-worker from another branch - he about ten years younger than her - but, she said "nothing happened".
I'm not going to say she cheated on you but this just does not happen; either she is lying (she slept in the same room as the guy on her own or is making the whole thing up) or the company she worked for acted unethically.

I am a man and I travel several times a year with the same group of men to conduct tests at remote facilities. If there is difficulty booking enough rooms we get spread across multiple hotels even though that means more rental cars and money spent. Even thought it wouldn't be an issue with the group of people I travel with, we have never been asked to share a room.

You should follow up with her company as I would view this as an impropriety. Also, does she file for reimbursements for travel? If so, is she claiming a hotel room?

-e.p.
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:44 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Mixed feelings about wife and co-worker

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Thanks, Greenpearl.

Thing is I'm not sure how much is fantasy and how much is true - or how much I want to be fantasy and how much I want to be true!
I wouldn't go any further!

I still believe in one man one woman marriage.

Some people try threesome, some people try swinging. I know I can't do it! I don't want to make my life complicated! That kind of excitement doesn't last!
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:48 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Mixed feelings about wife and co-worker

Have the two of you talked about an 'open marriage'?
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:59 AM   #14 (permalink)
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I wouldn't go any further!

I still believe in one man one woman marriage.

Some people try threesome, some people try swinging. I know I can't do it! I don't want to make my life complicated! That kind of excitement doesn't last!
I don't want her to have had sex with him (and she assures me she didn't) or with anyone else. But the flirting/exhibitionism/voyeurism bit turns me on. For example she says she saw him in his boxers with his 'morning wood' and that he was in the room when she put on her stockings. I'm arroused just telling you about it!
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Old 07-15-2011, 10:10 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I don't want her to have had sex with him (and she assures me she didn't) or with anyone else. But the flirting/exhibitionism/voyeurism bit turns me on. For example she says she saw him in his boxers with his 'morning wood' and that he was in the room when she put on her stockings. I'm arroused just telling you about it!
Just make sure you inform her that the next time she goes on another business trip that she first checks the hotel reservations before going. A company can get into a lot of legal trouble for not checking up on this kind of mistake, especially if a woman gets raped by a fellow co-worker.
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Last edited by morituri; 07-15-2011 at 10:11 AM. Reason: eta
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