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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 07-20-2011, 08:54 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I stop wanting sex all the time?

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Originally Posted by Hubby01 View Post
No it would not be OK for my wife to cheat sexually.

My friends wife cut him off sexually, he is having his SEXUAL needs met elsewhere.

If I cut my wife off sexually and she cheated, yeah I have a part in that and would have to either own it or walk away knowing I contributed to the problem.

If my wife seeks out other EMOTIONAL avenues away from sex, yeah thats fine. She's very emotionally connected to a lot of her friends and family.......I do not provide enough emotion (in whatever form) so she's free to seek it elsewhere.

THIS IS NOT SEX THOUGH.
I understand but remember that if you were to cut out your wife emotionally, she's more susceptible to another man coming in and giving her what she needs in return for sex with her.

The old saying 'men give love to get sex and women give sex to get love' is often very true.

Sex and emotions are very tied together for many folks, especially women.
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Old 07-20-2011, 09:02 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I stop wanting sex all the time?

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Originally Posted by morituri View Post
I understand but remember that if you were to cut out your wife emotionally, she's more susceptible to another man coming in and giving her what she needs in return for sex with her.

The old saying 'men give love to get sex and women give sex to get love' is often very true.

Sex and emotions are very tied together for many folks, especially women.
Tied together yes, but they are not one and the same.
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Old 07-20-2011, 09:40 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Default Re: totally disagree

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Originally Posted by MEM11363 View Post
The post below is completely lame. She has been blatantly ignoring a core need of his for years and years and now he is the one who should walk on eggshells sexually.

This is a wife who has no respect for her husband.

MEM11363--I'm not sure I totally agree with you that this is her fault, but I read some of your good posts and think that I have been overheating the marriage, and for my own sanity dialed back my attempts to force a reconciliation she didn't want yet. So tonight it seems like she's noticed we haven't had sex in a while and asked me if I'm thinking we haven't had much physical contact recently or am trying not to think about it. I answered, honestly, that I'm trying not to think about it, and its sort of working.

But I feel too tense and emotional about the whole relationship to relax and get into sex tonight. If I turn her down when she makes a legit attempt, that doesn't seem like it would be good, but it's going to be hard to get and keep it up with all these unresolved issues floating around in my head.

Aaaargh.
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Old 07-20-2011, 11:35 PM   #34 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I stop wanting sex all the time?

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Tied together yes, but they are not one and the same.
My number one need is Intimacy. I get that through meaningful loving sex with my wife.
So for me there is a direct tie with emotions and sex.

For all of the "stable" women I have known if they are not emotionally in a good place the sex suffers. I do agree that a woman can love her husband and not be in love with him and there is no sex. Maybe this is what you are saying.
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Old 07-20-2011, 11:39 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I stop wanting sex all the time?

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Originally Posted by Hubby01 View Post
No it would not be OK for my wife to cheat sexually.

My friends wife cut him off sexually, he is having his SEXUAL needs met elsewhere.

If I cut my wife off sexually and she cheated, yeah I have a part in that and would have to either own it or walk away knowing I contributed to the problem.

If my wife seeks out other EMOTIONAL avenues away from sex, yeah thats fine. She's very emotionally connected to a lot of her friends and family.......I do not provide enough emotion (in whatever form) so she's free to seek it elsewhere.

THIS IS NOT SEX THOUGH.
If my emotional needs were not being met, I would seek to have them met with my Husband. If he didn't meet those needs I would let him know that things were getting dangerous, not turn outside the marriage.

I don't think you understand the emotional ties to the physical and women often cannot have one without the other (often men can't either). So by your theory shes just as likely to stray and justified in doing so.
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Old 07-20-2011, 11:47 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I stop wanting sex all the time?

I do get your point and I know what I'm trying to say.

Now maybe we should leave this poor guys thread alone so he can get his questions answered :-)
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