08-13-2011, 03:35 PM
Join Date: Mar 2010
| | Re: How to get him to turn me on?
Originally Posted by michzz
From his perspective you are being too complicated and deliberately trying to prevent intimacy.
From your perspective you've had enough of not being approached exactly how you want to be approached.
And when you two communicate about this it turns out badly.
Quite a trap.
You have to start somewhere and I think that is when you are not in the bedroom.
You need a candid talk about what works for you both. And maybe a good book to read.
Yo may need to drop some of the complication and he definitely needs better techniques.
The worst time to bring that up is when you're already in bed. Your irritation and his defensiveness will not allow for that moment.
Perhaps order chinese and bring it up over dinner. Say you want him to **** you, you desire HIM, and you think about being together with him a lot. Then just be honest and say that your body takes more time, and requires more finesse, to be turned on than a quick kiss and suck, and that you want him to read this book about female arousal (that you just happen to have handy) because you really want him to **** your brains out!!!!!
If he gets offended by that supportive honesty then it's time for counseling. But, chances are he'll respond well.
Just don't ever bring it up while your in the bedroom or during any moments of intimacy. That only breeds performance anxiety in both of you.